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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Ex’s father extremely wealthy (millionaire) - impact of financial settlement?

90 replies

Nearlyalldone · 06/11/2022 11:58

Hi all,

Just wanted to check something with you. Currently at the beginning states of divorcing my ex and getting the documentation for the financial settlement prepared.

My ex’s father is a very wealthy businessman (millionaire). He’s at retirement age but continues to run his business.

Does my father-in-law’s wealth have any impact on our financial settlement? I’d very much like to stay in the family home with the children (I have a ‘lives with’ order for them and they are in my care the majority of the time). It would be possible for me to remortgage to buy my ex out but this would leave me with very tight finances. My ex earns at least £20,000 extra per year than me, receives bonuses/shares, has significantly higher savings… and has a dad who is a millionaire(!) and is very likely to help my ex out with purchasing a new property.

Thanks for your help

OP posts:
Rabidturnip · 06/11/2022 17:26

Bigbadfish · 06/11/2022 12:18

You do.

You want more of your husbands money and for his father to pay him.

Show quote history

This. With bells on

TomTraubertsBlues · 06/11/2022 17:28

Nearlyalldone · 06/11/2022 12:19

Thank you. This is what I wanted to know. I wasn’t sure if the court would consider my ex’s wider financial context in the divorce settlement.

By the way, I was simply asking a question. I’ve been working through my financial documentation and it occurred to me to ask. Please don’t lump me together with your ex-SIL. I don’t want my father in law’s money.

Show quote history

If you don't want it, why are you asking? You obviously want it.

Your ex's income and assets are relevant here, not his dad's.

Rabidturnip · 06/11/2022 17:31

OP clearly stated that her ex doesn’t need equity from the family home that they own because he has his dad. Just because your ex fil CAN lend your ex some money to benefit your settlement, doesn’t mean he SHOULD.

FWIW I am a woman and was manipulated by my ex many years ago to buy our house equally when he didn’t pay a penny in deposit. Fortunately we made enough when we sold it to soften the blow to me, but it still makes me mad. I won’t buy a property with a partner again.

TomTraubertsBlues · 06/11/2022 17:32

Newmum1998 · 06/11/2022 13:41

Why don’t people read threads properly and just jump on the OP
she’s not after her father in law’s money

Except she blatantly is? Why else would she even ask?

smileandsing · 06/11/2022 17:33

Your ex is no more entitled to benefit from his father's wealth during your divorce than you are. The only people involved in your divorce are you, your ex and any children you have together. Give yourself a shake and get proper legal advice

Whadda · 06/11/2022 17:34

What a bizarre question.

If your FIL was penniless, would you want less equity in the divorce on the grounds that your ex will be responsible for housing his dad?

Thought not.

Ekátn · 06/11/2022 17:38

Op isn’t asking for the fils money outright.

But was hoping her exhusband is disadvantaged in the divorce due to Dils money and the gap filled by the FILs money. She hopes she would get more money, supported by her fils. If op was getting what she hoped for she would be benefitting from his money.

So yes, in a roundabout way she is wanting her Fils money.

Remainiac · 06/11/2022 17:38

Bigbadfish · 06/11/2022 12:18

You do.

You want more of your husbands money and for his father to pay him.

Show quote history

Yes that’s my point exactly.

booboo82 · 06/11/2022 17:44

Wow grabby much !

MichelleScarn · 06/11/2022 17:47

Whadda · 06/11/2022 17:34

What a bizarre question.

If your FIL was penniless, would you want less equity in the divorce on the grounds that your ex will be responsible for housing his dad?

Thought not.

Very good point! Imagine the case law (if that's right terminology!) this good set if so!!

ClocksGoingBackwards · 06/11/2022 17:53

For whatever reason, you are divorcing, and you are going to be left struggling with a big mortgage while he, in all likelihood, not withstanding the potential to be disinherited or whatever, will end of considerably more comfortably off than you, through his Dad's hard work rather than his own. It's bollocks isn't it, must feel really unfair.

This seems a very one sided way of looking at thing when, as they are divorcing, it is him that has had to leave his home and children and rent a flat and she will get to keep the house. I’m sure OP won’t feel it’s quite so bollocks and unfair when her FIL’s efforts eventually benefit her own children.

2bazookas · 06/11/2022 18:00

Well, I'm not surprised his son is getting divorced.

thelionthewitchtheaudacityofTHISbitch · 06/11/2022 18:01

Amongst the rude posters who've contributed nothing to the discussion or conversation have been several helpful posts stating that there is a starting assumption of 50:50 split of your's and ex's own assets and liabilities, including shares, pensions, savings. This is the probable starting point.

Check the shares carefully - if they are shares in a private company (ie your ex FIL's business) it may be tricky to get a decent valuation. But look also at the historic dividend stream. You might not want to be a very minority shareholder and ex-FIL might not also want you to be a minority shareholder. So that could be a negotiating point to give you more cash to reduce your buy-out or mortgage.

IntrovertedPenguin · 06/11/2022 18:02

No wonder he's filed for divorce. What a catch you are! 😂😳

coffeeandcakeat10 · 06/11/2022 18:03

If you divorce and DON'T have a financial order / consent order, as long as you don't remarry you are entitled to make a claim against your Ex husbands estate in the future... so perhaps, if you decide not to have a financial order in your divorce, you leave yourself open to claim against anything your husband may inherit in the future, but that is a waiting game and in the present day it may suit you to have a financial order in your divorce.

abblie · 06/11/2022 18:05

If your husband has paid into your home he is entitled to money of your house whether his father buys him one or not thats none of your business

Traisonthewine78 · 06/11/2022 20:06

ClocksGoingBackwards · 06/11/2022 17:53

For whatever reason, you are divorcing, and you are going to be left struggling with a big mortgage while he, in all likelihood, not withstanding the potential to be disinherited or whatever, will end of considerably more comfortably off than you, through his Dad's hard work rather than his own. It's bollocks isn't it, must feel really unfair.

This seems a very one sided way of looking at thing when, as they are divorcing, it is him that has had to leave his home and children and rent a flat and she will get to keep the house. I’m sure OP won’t feel it’s quite so bollocks and unfair when her FIL’s efforts eventually benefit her own children.

Yeah, one way from the perspective of OP? Not sure why it surprise you to view it from the point of view of the woman posting, who is in a similar position to what i have found myself in in the past?

Viviennemary · 06/11/2022 20:09

The wealth of a relative isnt usually taken into consideration inna divorce financial settlement. Inheritance is a different story. But this man isnt dead.

wildseas · 06/11/2022 20:17

The advice about shares upthread is good, and worth discussing with your lawyer I think.

id also add making 100 percent sure that you have all of his pension info for every pension he has. It’s really common for wealthy parents to set up a pension for their children as a way of avoiding inheritance tax.

The same applies to lifetime gifts and trusts - make sure there isn’t anything in ex’s name which he considers to be an early inheritance or similar.

BHMiseverymonth · 06/11/2022 21:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

gogohmm · 06/11/2022 21:20

I do understand what you are saying. Your best bet is to discuss with your stbexh a settlement that is best for the children, if he wants to be generous do to him having access to funds to buy another house then he can be, but no court would award you extra money on this basis.

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 22/06/2023 22:32

In short, no. The money of your ex’s father is his money to spend as he wishes, it doesn’t belong to your ex, is his dad’s money and he can leave it to anyone he wishes, even the RSPCA if he wants.

The only way that I would say it may be considered is if your ex FIL is dead or in his death bed and the inheritance will be in process to be paid before the divorce process is completed (your solicitor can ask for the decree absolute to be delayed if this may affect the separation of assets BUT if your FIL is in good health / not actually dying… forget about it)

Whadda · 22/06/2023 23:00

I wonder if the OP ever ended up finding some of her ex-husband granny’s silverware that she could get her mitts on.

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 22/06/2023 23:04

To be honest, if she is going to be the main cater for the children I don’t see an issue with fighting for part of an inheritance that would help her to provide for the kids.

The problem is that you cannot fight for the inheritance of someone who is not yet dead.

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 22/06/2023 23:07

Carer not cater