DH's ex-wife still wants my information.

[MarloweMax]

Promise to keep it short after my rather long-winded previous thread!
My DH has received another letter from his exW's solicitor asking again for my income and copies of my payslips and also a mortgage assessment calculation for a joint mortgage between us. (We are not currently in a position to buy together) so haven't got one
The letter also states they will be raising the issue of his lack of knowledge of my income with the judge. Fair enough :)
I just want confirmation that he doesn't have to supply the answers unless ordered to by a Judge? He has been absolutely transparent with all the financial information and provided all the documentation required. First Hearing is next week.

I wonder how much money she wasted on solicitor's letters asking about your income? My understanding is that a stronger financial party's new partner would have to be extremely well off for it to affect the outcome of the marriage because they were already going to lose out to the lazier spouse anyway.

It's only when the lazy spouse remarries that the impact can be material, because they no longer have a claim for spousal maintenance (but SM is very rare now anyway). Or when they cohabit, which is a more grey area, especially if their new partner is a lazy spouse like them and can't provide for them.

There is one crucial element in all of this.

You DH is now Divorced from this woman. The deal is done. Your finances are absolutely none of her business.

If they were both in the process of divorce, it would be a different matter. Your financial situation could well have been taken into account for future maintainence for her and any children they had.

For the ExW, really the horse has bolted. She knows this, but is chancing her arm in looking for more money as she now sees you and you DH as a potential gravy train for more maintenance.

Don't respond, don't even get drawn into it. Ignore it.

Also if you end up in a new relationship with a high earner can he then seek the same from you and new partner? Or if you enter any relationship where you live together?

Yes and no.... The divorce has already happened and must have happened quite some time ago, so I think the ex-wife would have a very hard time proving she needed maintenance now. However, if there are assets still to be split such as a FMH, the presence of a new partner (let alone spouse) could alter the split.

That said, the difference probably wouldn't be worth spending thousands in court over unless the OP was very wealthy.

This is why though it is important as the stronger financial party to get things resolved as soon as possible and try and slam the door on any future claims. The longer it is left and the more estranged two people become, the more likely the weaker financial party is to start demanding more money, especially if they are a lazy charlatan who would rather demand money from others than earn it herself.

This is especially the case now when the reality is that long term dependency from an ex-spouse only really happens when the weaker financial party is a scrounger or a loser. Most spouses who have given up a career to bring up children aren't given very long to get back to work these days; in fact most get no maintenance at all and the asset split is based on their earning capacity rather than income. It's only the "never were" spouses who tend to demand long term maintenance and have a chance of getting it these days and they are just as grabby, entitled and utterly useless at providing for themselves as you mind think.

It sounds like bollocks to me, but I would get his solicitor’s advice on what she is up to and how to manage it.

Thanks everyone.
Just to clarify. Maintenance claim has been dropped. Child support was never an issue. It is just the split of FMH and pensions to be settled (and a clean break order!)
Exw is the higher earner and the house has equity. She also opted out of a goodish pension scheme in March two months before applying for the financial order; the judge was not happy about this.
DH has more pension assets but cash poor.
I am not wealthy and actually earn significantly less than her but I think she thinks I am wealthier than I am (my parents have a nice house).
Dh and I have worked hard to provide stability and clear debts following both our marriage breakdowns (which were not connected), we can't afford to buy but have a nice home and reasonable lifestyle because we are very careful.

And in answer to a PP musings, ex wife's solicitor bills are currently in the region of 3.5k . I wish it could be resolved quickly as I do worry she is increasing her debt.

£3.5k is nothing - my husband's ex ran up legal bills of almost £30k in similar circumstances! I voluntarily disclosed my income as part of his Form E, but she didn't believe I earned so little (I was earning £2400 per month after tax, so a fairly normal income really) and wasted a lot of time and energy first on trying to find out how much I REALLY earned, and then in trying to find assets my husband had supposedly hidden (he hadn't), and then in trying to make a claim on his future inheritance (he is fortunate enough to have parents whose assets are worth a couple of million). It all got sorted in the end, thankfully!

For what it's worth, my income was taken into account in negotiations, because my husband found it easier to meet his own reasonable needs because I contributed towards household bills. I thought that was perfectly reasonable. We weren't married at the time, but were in a committed cohabiting relationship and planned to marry once his financial settlement was sorted.

@CakeIsNotAvailable We have also shown that my income does help DH's needs to be met and I agree it is reasonable to include. I suppose I am just digging my heels in that she is seems overly invested in my earnings .
I also think she was expecting DH to be earning more than he is but sadly has been unable to progress his career in the same way as he does the bulk of afterschool care. ( Well worth and with no regrets it as he enjoys the time with DC and exw did not want them to attend paid childcare)
As for solicitors bills, my exh also run up near 20k as ended up at Final Hearing which eats into the assets.
Well DH has submitted another offer and her solicitor has stated she is waiting instruction from exw so not a lot to do at this stage .

I don't actually agree it is reasonable to include a new partner's income in assessing needs, although I concede it is the law. The problem though is consistency: how can you happily decide a house and pension split based on a relationship without the bond of marriage unless you are 100% certain the other party will do the same? This ex-wife sounds like the kind of person who won't declare when she's cohabiting and it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if a new man appeared on the scene about a year after the financials are agreed.