DH's ex-wife still wants my information.

[MarloweMax]

Promise to keep it short after my rather long-winded previous thread!
My DH has received another letter from his exW's solicitor asking again for my income and copies of my payslips and also a mortgage assessment calculation for a joint mortgage between us. (We are not currently in a position to buy together) so haven't got one
The letter also states they will be raising the issue of his lack of knowledge of my income with the judge. Fair enough :)
I just want confirmation that he doesn't have to supply the answers unless ordered to by a Judge? He has been absolutely transparent with all the financial information and provided all the documentation required. First Hearing is next week.

Agree with this. My advice always in terms of unreasonable solicitors letters is minimal response or ignore. They can't do a thing without an order 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why would the court expect disclosure? Her finances are nothing to do with her husbands ex wife, their divorce was over years ago and the ex is grasping at straws because she wants more money for some ridiculous reason that I can’t remember from the first thread.

Ooh found this. They also do a 30 minute free consultation (thought this was a myth. It’s not a simple yes/no answer and is based case by case.

www.sadlercross.co.uk/2021/09/23/will-a-new-partner-affect-my-divorce-settlement/

Your husband should get a lot more aggressive in fighting back. Go after every penny. She’s trying to claw as much as possible. If i was married to a man- i would expect him to have a backbone and some common sense

If they break up does your award become less.

@NukaColaQuantum Because as I explained below, it is balancing the needs of both households. I explained it in a previous post.

@Faultymain5

If they break up now, no.

If your DH thought it was all sorted, did he have a solicitor and did they advise him correctly? Seems like a crazy situation to be remarried, divorced for years and ex-W only now coming forward for financial support.

@TheFormidableMrsC interesting.

I’m not a legal person.
Just looked at the previous thread.

So she wanted him to give her the house for free after getting herself in more debt since they split. They are tenants in common. He rightfully wanted some money for this.

Now out of spite she has decided to go after him for the house, assets he may have, his pension etc. Yet she is the higher earner. She is just presuming you make more than her when in reality you earn considerably less.

It might have been cheaper for her to just remortgage for a higher cost to buy him out, and get his name off the mortgage 😂 Esoecially when you consider the above, that he pays more than cms wanted plus half their costs (trips, clothing etc which is what maintenance is for(. His career progression has also been heavily impacted with all the after school care.

My husband is a solicitor and I was interested so asked him - he said it's about living costs. If your DH now has most of his living costs/needs met because of both of your incomes, then he can afford to contribute more to the upkeep of his children.

So short answer, the ExW might have a claim to see your finances and to get more money from DH.

My DH also said it can't be "closed" as a case and you have the right to take a partner back to court to change child maintenance amount if circumstances change (eg they earn more/less, get remarried, financial situation changes etc)

As you're married, your finances are combined.

My DH isn't a specific divorce solicitor tho, so worth speaking to one I think

I remember your last thread. Don't respond at ALL. There is no way she can have access to your financial information. She and her solicitor are just bullying you.

Thanks everyone. Interesting to read everyone's thoughts.
@ihatethefuckingmuffin thanks for condensing down my other (long winded) thread😂Spot on!
A couple of offers have been suggested, it is the clean break order DH wants.
Child support or maintenance is not the issue at all here.
I am sympathetic towards exw . I have also been married before ( thankfully resolved finances but it did go to Final Hearing ) so I do have some concerns that she is not going to get the outcome she is hoping for and a huge legal bill.

DH has replied to the letter and has confirmed a couple of points and ignored the others. He has responded to the threat that my information will be raised with the judge with a ' happy for it to be raised' .
Thanks all

This is why the law is stupid in divorce financial settlements. Having one woman subsidise another.

Tbh, I’d be very angry with my H for not having sorted the consent order out as part of the divorce. The husband here has enabled this and put the OP in this stupid situation.

His ex should, frankly, be ashamed of herself in looking to have your income taken into account. Regardless of whether the law enables it.

I have just been having a bit of a Google search, and I hope this link might be useful. I have no legal background, but it seems quite easy to read, and one of the sections covers your situation.

www.mediateuk.co.uk/financial-disclosure-on-divorce/

@SudocremOnEverything
Initially, I was annoyed with DH but I can see how it happened. I have read all the back and forth solicitor letters/ MIAM reports etc. They couldnt came to an agreement and then agreed to resolve it but it was never made into a consent order. He was struggling with debts and trying to keep costs down so agreed (also for a peaceful life as there was also a few other veiled threats regarding dc ) but didn't realise that it wasn't binding without an order. He thought the absolute meant it was over.
Naivety, stupidity who knows? It is what it is now. I really wish it wasnt but it is.

@LumpyandBumps thanks . Interesting read.
Think DH is going to go to court. He has made a very reasonable offer that (in my opinion) she would be very wise to accept.

Bit of an update following the FDA today. Date set for FDR next year. Exw withdrew many of the items from her questionaire and had issues with nearly all DH's. The judge disregarded some questions on both sides as not relevant which was expected and advised that my salary etc were irelevant but if they really want to pursue it they would have to write to me directly. He then advised DH that I don't have to respond to the solicitor.
He also advised that she needs to reply within 28 days to the questions raised.
Quite positive and very fair ( although next judge could have a different opinion!)

Great update OP!! I would have been jaw on the floor if the judge ordered you to disclose!

What things did she remove, just nosy now

Glad there was some sense in the courtroom, I've often wondered how solicitors get away with some of the crap they write, like PP's request to remove blinds O_o I'm a professional and have to abide by a code of conduct, surely solicitors should have some principles too!

@CombatBarbie
Withdrew anything most of it that DH could prove differently (eg said DH had stopped paying child support 2 years prior to when he actually did)
Also things that she could not provide evidence for.
The judge was quite firm I believe, with both her and her solicitor and the main question she doesn't want to answer about pensions she will have to.
@VisitingThem
The solicitor can advise but the client doesn't have to listen.
I read the comment about the blinds and it is ridiculous 🙄
@Pumpkinpatchlookinggood

Why? It's fairly common. I know several incidences, including my own case, where disclosure was required.

OP, that's a positive update. I hope that this is resolved easily, I know how stressful it is.

It might be common but should not be !

No. It should not be relevant at all. It should not be a new partner’s job to subsidise someone so that they can give more assets to their ex.

New partners should be completely irrelevant to what’s a fair allocation of marital assets.

Why? It's fairly common. I know several incidences, including my own case, where disclosure was required
@TheFormidableMrsC
I may be court ordered which is fine but we have already shown that my income has helped reduce DH needs .
They have been divorced a long time so it is less relevant. I think in your situation it was at the time and you were in a very difficult situation(we were on the boards at the same time as my own divorce and court case and chatted sometimes, I had a different user name then 😊)
Thanks everyone. Fingers crossed it is resolved quickly.