CMS - confused how it actually works?

[anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled]

Morning

My STBEXH has recently walked out on children and I with no warning. He's currently staying with a friend so have agreed he'll continue to pay his share of the bills on the family home until he finds his own place to rent and will have full bills of his own

I went on the CMS calculator and despite "only" earning £23k per year and based on one overnight per week it states CMS of £360 would be due

But I see so many posts of how fathers don't pay and the court orders something ridiculously and insultingly low like £5 per week

So how does it actually work? I show him what CMS "advises" but he has no obligation to pay?

You can do one of two things, come to a family arrangement yourselves. So an arrangement of how much he will pay per month towards the children based upon the CMS amount or you can pursue a claim via the CMS. It costs £20 to make a claim, they use the info provided to the HMRC for his wage, does he pay into any pension? As the amount is calculated on his salary minus pension.

Just use the CMS calculator. If that's what it says, that's what he should pay. If he's reliable, then he can just transfer that money in each month. If he's not, CMS will chase the payment for a fee.

I'd run that through the calculator again.
My ex earns £25k and has to pay £240.

Make sure you deduct pension contributions as well from his earnings, so it's probably more like £21.5k.

The £5 is the minimum for someone on benefits to pay

@ArcticSkewer your circumstances might be different - eg number of kids, number of nights per week etc

He will pay a % depending upon the number of children and how many over nights he has them. Go through the CMS. He either pays you willingly. Or they can set up a deduction of earning and charge him a further 20% for their trouble. You will be deducted 4% of the amount also. It is worth it if you ask me.

It depends if he is in a stable job. My ex job hopped. Moved house and had periods of being self employed. So it is challenging to get any money out of him. So I class anything as a bonus. The arrears add up and I just live in hope that at some point he gets a stable job and it will catch up with him. Although more likely just to be written off. I'm currently owed over £20k. And a few more years to go yet.

The processes are slow. But do keep in contact with them

Thanks all 3 children - and 1 night per week but until he sorts has own place he won't have any overnights

I was just surprised at the amount given his low earnings

I know I shouldn't care but can't see how he can pay CMS and afford to "live"

But I suppose he'll get UC now so that will top things up?

Paying £360 a month on that low of a salary will surely put him into poverty? Especially if he has to run his own house

CMS calculator for that wage and 3 DC is £310 per week.
If that's the CMS rate then that's what the CMS will expect him to pay. You can come to a private agreement where he pays less if you want.

The lowest CMS rate (other than the nil assessment my ex has managed to get) is £7 per week.

@YerAWizardHarry

Yes that's what I can't understand

He'll at best only ever be able to rent/buy an apartment but to be honest he could earn a lot more he has just always refused to because he's had me as his cash cow

@FrankTheThunderbird

I do want him to pay what's "due" - I earn 3x what he does but twins full time childcare plus before/after school for eldest is £2k per month and if I'm honest part of me wants to show him the reality of what he's done by just walking away after 10 years of marriage and the only way it's going to "hurt" him as it were is financially as we won't have me to fall back on

In that case I'd open a cms case. It will cost £20 but they'll do the calculations for you. Tell them he isn't having overnights at the moment, and then update the case when he is. Initially they'll expect him to pay willingly. But if he doesn't then they'll move to "collect and pay" which will be quicker than waiting for him not to pay and then opening a case.

sorry, I mis-read and thought you only had 1 child.

I don't actually think that's a huge amount to spend on a family of 3 children. Anyone who has 3 kids and earns £23k is going to find they are strapped for cash.

He may decide to go 50:50 if he thinks it's cheaper for him

@ArcticSkewer

Unfortunately his reasons for leaving are that he can't cope with family life - the kids being the biggest part of that and that he no longer wants to be a full time parent. He can't cope with our twins. Nothing "wrong" with them health wise other than there just being 2 of them!

50/50 is highly unlikely

Also childcare on his 50% of the week if he did decide to go for that would be a lot more than £310 per month 😂

£5 is when the ex is on benefits (think it’s £7 now)

CMS isn't fair to either parent.

You've said it yourself, you don't see how he can afford it.. he can't. It will financially ruin him.
It drives the wrong behaviour. Men going for 50/50 thinking it's 'cheaper' and children ending up with the wrong parent.
Women withholding children from their dads because they 'get more money'.

There isn't a one size fits all with CMS. It will create animosity between you and your ex so try and agree how things will work, what support you both need and what you can commit to.

@roseheartfly

Yes I agree. My feelings are very conflicted towards him I admit. Part of me is very much saying our children were planned he doesn't just get to walk away when parenting is hard and he needs to understand the financial impact of raising children - I've always sheltered him financially I openly admit. And why should my and my children's lives be less than what it could be because he's decided he no longer wants to be an adult and father and I then again shelter him financially/let him off the hook.

Actions have consequences and if that means him not being able to fund this fantastic single responsibility free life he had planned then so be it? (It's not like I earn hundreds of thousands per year in which case pursuing him for CMS would seem more petty?)

It's not petty to ask someone to contribute to their children's upbringing. It doesn't matter how much you earn.

All depends on how much he earns (or discloses) and how many other children he has. If he's a very low earner or claims benefits he'll pay the bare minimum which is split between all his children. My DD gets £2.50 a week! I wish I was joking. No pressure on him to get his arse in gear and actually find full-time work - he just gets away with not paying. Sorry I can't be more reassuring.

Front forget to factor in that with CSM he most likely won't continue covering half of your living expenses as I doubt he'd afford both.

Op course he won’t pay half op living expenses. He’ll ultimately have to pay his own rent and when he dies op states he’ll stop paying what he does currently

put in cms claim. He needs pay his contribution, why shouldn’t he. Yes it will leave him struggling but as a single adult that’s within his control to chsnge if he’s not happy about it

your costs are considerably higher and he should pay at least what the law says is due

No other children and I know how much he earns as it all goes into a joint account so I see it. Not on benefits

He doesn't pay half the living costs - just currently paying his "share" of the mortgage/ council tax etc as ultimately he'll get half the house so whilst he's practically living rent free I feel he should continue to pay until he is paying full market living costs in a place of his own.

Factoring in childcare etc I'd estimate I probably pay 80% of our total living costs as childcare is twice our mortgage at £2k a month

As soon as he moves I'd imagined he would pay only CMS but then I was confused about the amount as can't see how he can afford it

But then again he left us his choice. Time to understand how much it costs in an adult world

Well there is no one size fits all. Show him the calculations and see if you can meet in the middle.

If he can't see the importance of supporting and contributing to his children then make then claim...