CMS - confused how it actually works?

[anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled]

Morning

My STBEXH has recently walked out on children and I with no warning. He's currently staying with a friend so have agreed he'll continue to pay his share of the bills on the family home until he finds his own place to rent and will have full bills of his own

I went on the CMS calculator and despite "only" earning £23k per year and based on one overnight per week it states CMS of £360 would be due

But I see so many posts of how fathers don't pay and the court orders something ridiculously and insultingly low like £5 per week

So how does it actually work? I show him what CMS "advises" but he has no obligation to pay?

Why will he get half the house??

From what you've said I wouldn't feel bad for him. He has 3 children and needs to pay for them as a priority and then cut his cloth accordingly!

Why wouldn’t he? It’s not automatic that the OP will get the majority.

Starting point will be half the house in terms of marital asset negotiations won't it? - and I've been told that strictly speaking he could claim more to be able to afford a property of similar standing which will enable him to have the kids (given he earns a lot less).

Even with half equity out of the family Home he'd struggle to afford more than a 2 bed flat but the solicitors said that it doesn't have to be an equal home (ie 3 bed semi house) just not hugely disproportionate and also he doesn't maximise his earnings - if he did then he could afford better

I'm ok with him having half the house - I don't want to see him in a dingy bed sit (although that's absolutely what he deserves) and I want to know the kids have a safe space to stay (although doubt it will be more than once a fortnight) - so long as doesn't claim a share of my pension

(We don't live in a massive mansion with hundreds of thousands of pounds of equity by the way - whatever happens when the FMH is sold the kids and I will have to move away somewhere cheaper)

Well why should he? Yes you earn more but he only needs a one bed, you have 3 very young dependent children they effectively you are solely responsible for
in your circumstances I’d absolutely be arguing for the assets to follow the primary carer and children
if he was going for 50:50 shared care snd stepping up that would be completely different scenario….,

@millymollymoomoo

Thanks. I do feel I'm being all rather nice about this and maybe I should be meaner 😂 I need to tell myself he isn't my 4th child and that I've no obligation to hold his hand/shelter him from real life anymore

Put in the CMS claim. Why should he be allowed to shirk his financial obligations?

23k Is 360? My ex is on 22 and pays 220
seems like a big jump did you calculate it properly
if he’s paying half the mortgage is he required to pay cms too ?

Because he owns half and pays for half 😬

Why should he live in a one bed ? The kids will want or need to come and stay
so the ex only gets to have a house with more than one room and only gets kids to live with him if he stays with OP
Right then 😂
if it were the other way around you would be up in arms
the house is half his
he pays for half the mortgage
the kids aren’t babies
OP if you don’t want him claiming half your pension in future then ask for a financial consent order

It could be also argued that the op pays all the mortgage including his half as an alternate to paying him rent for living in his half of the house

Banana you are completely missing the part where op ex does not want the kids to stay and wants to walk away from family life leaving her working full time with 3 young children inc twin babies, with op picking up all nursery and childcare costs

her housing needs 100% cons before her exes and there is no way a court in ops circumstances will award him half equity.

he dies not need more than one bed if he does not plan to have the kids and he needs to start actually trying to up his own income

@Banana2079

I have 3 children do you? Also £360 is based on an average 1 overnight night per fortnight I think (or none at all really) - I've played around with the online calculator and it's definitely over £300

Yes I can understand the "outrage" if the shoe was on the other foot as it so often is for many women who were in relationships and they are the lower earner like my STBEXH is. But crucial differences here

• he could earn more but doesn't
• having children has not impacted his career or future earnings as so many mothers claim when they are the lower earner in a divorce
• he isn't the main parent and expected to support 3 children on that wage like many mothers are

He isn't paying CMS currently because he is still covering the majority of his "share" of the mortgage on the family home. I'm sure in my post somewhere I said that CMS would only start once he is moved into his own place and no longer paying bills here. Of course im not expecting him to pay half the mortgage AND CMS

He is able to get at least a one bed in a nice area or a 2 bed in an ok area with half the equity. Me on the other hand will need to move the children away from where we live now as I simply can't afford a 3 bed whilst also paying out the childcare costs that I do.

And yes he has (at the moment) agreed to a financial consent order not going after my pension on the basis he gets half the house. To be honest I'm happy for him to have it. After all he has paid half the mortgage since we bought it (even if he hasn't contributed a penny to all the other costs like children etc).

He knows that will mean us relocating 2 hours away and the reality of that doesn't bother him

@MaryTruss

Sorry I don't understand your post 😬