My husband and I have been separated for over a year now. The children and I live in the family home (it is still in joint names) and ex rents but has opted to rent somewhere without a spare room (he loves to tell everyone, including the kids, that I take all his money so he can't afford anywhere for them to stay. This is not true, he has opted to rent somewhere small within a few minutes of the house but he could have got a much bigger place 15-20 minutes away but said it was too far away ).
He never was involved with the kids, has a bad relationship with the older ones, was emotionally abusive and financially abusive. I have anyways been primary carer and have done everything. He now wants to get involved with everything and be here at the family home as much as possible. He has even got cross one time when I took the children to the supermarket with me rather than ringing him and asking him to come over and look after them whilst I do the shopping. I have no space from him and usually end up seeing him 4 times a week. He gets verbally abuse and sends irrate texts when I say we are busy or the children are out with friends. It is always about him, not what the children want or need to do.
We are going through mediation and I plan to ask for a set schedule so that he sees them the same days every week so that I know when I have to see him and they kids know what is happening. My mental health is suffering with him just announcing he will now be coming along to x of the kids activities (he can't pick them up from home and take them there without me as he is still at work when activities start so he just wants to turn up part way through, watch and then expects to be invited back for dinner or tea after), he wants to sit around here watching TV all weekend (occasionally organises an activity but the kids often don't want to go out with him).
I can't carry on seeing him so many days a week, we separated for a reason and I feel like each day I am now either seeing him or worrying that he might turn up at any moment or am being bombarded with phonecalls texts about why I have not let him see the children that day.
I am so scared that he will bully me into making this a permanent arrangement, where he sees them all weekend every weekend and a couple of nights a week. Will the mediator try to help us come to an alternative greement? I feel like I have no voice around this man and that he just shouts or talks over me until I back down and let him have his way. He can be very forceful and persuasive and I know I will struggle to explain my reasons when he is demanding answers to why he can't attend every activity, come over to help with homework, look after the kids everytime etc. I don't want to stop him seeing his children but I can't see him this often and the children also need a break from him (their mental health suffering was one of the many reasons I left him).
Sorry for the very long rambling post. I'm not too sure what I'm asking really, I'm just so worried I'll be bullied into something that is not in the children's or my interest.