Is it normal for Ex’s family to cut me and kids out of their lives after his affair?

[Newsinglemum1]

I recently split from my husband after a year long spate of his heavy drinking, never coming home, disappearing for days that all culminated in me finding out he had sex with a girl at his new job, and this was all following our son’s birth last year. (And many years of him being what I thought was just a bad drunk with depression)

Whilst I was dealing with him nearly burning the house down twice due to being drunk and him becoming more horrible to me and my daughter (5) I had continually asked my in laws for help and support with dealing with his drink problem as it was getting dangerous.

Since I have found out about the cheating it gave me the strength to say, enough is enough, instead of trying to help him, but now his family are not speaking to me at all. Despite me asking them to help him understand what splitting up means and that he needs to think of our children’s needs.

I feel very hurt that somehow I am now being blamed for his awful behaviour, when I feel like I’ve been abused for years and can now clearly see that.

is it normal for a family to totally cut ties with grandchildren/nieces/nephews after separation? I wouldn’t dream of not speaking to my nieces especially when they are going through a big change like this…

We're not talking of gp losing contact with the gc, they are choosing to remain in contact with their ds, and will facilitate contact with their gc via him.

Savage. That's not nice.

When DB’s ex wife walked out of their marriage to be with her work colleague we all dropped her like a stone without saying a word to her.

it’s normal regardless of circumstances.

I don't think it's normal to cut off contact with grandchildren. That seems strange to me. Unless they'll see your child when she's with her dad?

@Sarah2891 that's exactly what happens. Why would I expect an ex partner of a relative to facilitate contact for their kids with me?

There’s no “normal” in any family scenario, especially involving divorce and drinking

This.

I was what I thought was close friends with my SIL (husband's sister). I used to babysit for her and my BIL.

Since my divorce I haven't seen them or their kids. Because my kids see them when they are with their dad. And they chose him over me (which is natural).

I'm sad about it but that's what often happens in a divorce situation. I honestly think it's more unusual for there to be continued contact - in my experience and that of people I know anyway

Sorry that this has happened to you OP and well done for making the positive step of getting out of an abusive relationship, I know it's not easy, especially when there are children involved.
It sounds like it's easier for your ex's family to blame you, rather than their idiot relative. Try to see your split from him as also being a split from his family, as honestly, they sound like not very nice people! Be happy that you don't have to deal with them and their BS anymore.
Good luck for the future