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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Divorce split

30 replies

Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 01/07/2022 18:18

Hello ladies,

I have just agreed a split for my divorce and now I'm wondering if it's fair on both parties

Basically I am the main career for my kids and they live with me

Ex has them every other weekend

I'm buying my ex out the house and it's a 60/40 split to me

I keep all my pension

My ex is currently not working so will get a large payout from me buying them out the house to move on with their life (they said they will get a job after they move out)

They are unlikely to pay child maintenance in the future so all the costs will be on me

Do you think this all sounds like a fair deal?

OP posts:

ArcticSkewer · 02/07/2022 15:52

You've done very well but it all sounds a bit of an unusual set up.

Obviously you have a lot more debt! Dearie me ... it's a divorce, you will be sole owner of a house whereas before you were a half owner.

There were other solutions for the pension but if her solicitor was crap and she just wants to get out and away, that's her choice.

I went 50:50 of everything, choosing a pension split rather than offsetting or earmarking. I'm not into inequality. A lot more debt for me but I can live with myself easier and don't need to post on mn to assuage a guilty conscience.

Starlightstarbright1 · 02/07/2022 15:57

How come you are the main carer if you are a high earning and she isn't working?

Fuuuuuckit · 02/07/2022 16:09

Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 10:06

I'm not relying on cms as we live in an expensive part of the country and most of there income will just go on rent and living expenses

It's been a long marriage

And the cost of the kids is second to his housing and living expenses?

No. Kids come first. You claim what you (THEY) are entitled to.

I can best my last penny that he'd not let you off a major contribution.

What is his usual work? He will absolutely be expected to maximise his own income after divorce, especially if he hasn't got residency of the dc so won't need to factor in childcare.

waterSpider · 02/07/2022 21:02

"They said I could not share it and i could not use it as part of the divorce settlement"

Well that's total nonsense (if you're in England) and I'd expect someone with A-level Law, let alone a lawyer, to know that.

Original poster

Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 22:22

Fuuuuuckit · 02/07/2022 16:09

And the cost of the kids is second to his housing and living expenses?

No. Kids come first. You claim what you (THEY) are entitled to.

I can best my last penny that he'd not let you off a major contribution.

What is his usual work? He will absolutely be expected to maximise his own income after divorce, especially if he hasn't got residency of the dc so won't need to factor in childcare.

Show quote history

I'm the man and I am the main earner

I am not claiming child maintenance as I know my ex can make a go of her new life I am worried about her financial future so will not be claiming child maintenance as that can be a large burden on top of her other bills

She has enough money out of this to move on to a nice life as long as she makes the right financial decisions and does not just waste all the money

OP posts:

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