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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Divorce split

30 replies

Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 01/07/2022 18:18

Hello ladies,

I have just agreed a split for my divorce and now I'm wondering if it's fair on both parties

Basically I am the main career for my kids and they live with me

Ex has them every other weekend

I'm buying my ex out the house and it's a 60/40 split to me

I keep all my pension

My ex is currently not working so will get a large payout from me buying them out the house to move on with their life (they said they will get a job after they move out)

They are unlikely to pay child maintenance in the future so all the costs will be on me

Do you think this all sounds like a fair deal?

OP posts:
Flerp · 02/07/2022 07:22

Who's it not fair to?

It entirely depends on each others needs. If that payout means they can move on with their life its entirely appropriate and you can adequately support yourself and children, with making required changes to your earning.

If you're thinking they were a dick for ehatever reason and don't deserve it, the law isn't with you on that one nor should it be except for extreme circumstances, which you haven't provided here.

You should have put some sort of maintenence provision in your financial settlement if you wanted it. You're always entitled to apply to CMS to seek it if required/can't be negotiated when they're working.

bare · 02/07/2022 07:27

Do they have a pension? Basically you are getting 60% of the marital home and 100% of your pension. Without knowing other assets, it's impossible to say

tirednessbecomesme · 02/07/2022 07:30

On the basis that you won't be claiming CMS I would say it's fair? Has he ever paid into the house? It's a sort of split I would go for if it was me (main earner and main care giver and the one with the pensions - my offer would be not to pursue CM if he gave up claim on my pension)

Flerp · 02/07/2022 07:38

If its a marital asset in a joint tenancy it doesn't matter if they have "paid in" or not. 50/50 is the starting point and that would have to be settled in court ehich it sounds like they've avoided.

DiamondBright · 02/07/2022 07:40

Your consent order will have to be sealed by a judge, in the unlikely event (it happens though, happened to someone I know) the judge doesn't think it's fair it'll need to be looked at again.

Presumably your STBXH has a solicitor and is being advised.

Original poster
Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 08:36

Thanks for the replies

I meant just fair rather than any type of punishment, I'm not really into that as it just comes back at you

The house and my pension is the only real asset that we have

I think the concensus is that this is a fair settlement for both parties and I'm happy with it

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 02/07/2022 08:57

60/40 of all assets or 60/40 of house plus 100% of pension? (so possibly 80/20 or 70/30)

Original poster
Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 09:29

60/40 of house

About

75/25 total

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 02/07/2022 09:32

Then offhand, I don't think that's a fair split, no. Why would you think it's a fair split? Short marriage?

Presumably they won't pay maintenance as they don't have a job?

RandomMess · 02/07/2022 09:38

Depends, is that as much as you can afford, how young and how many DC?

You need to house them fully time, have the costs associated with working etc.

Obviously if he gets a job you should get CMS level maintenance.

cottagegardenflower · 02/07/2022 10:03

I think it's fair, but am concerned about the lack of child maintenance, especially if something were to happen to your earning capacity.

Dancinginthedark01 · 02/07/2022 10:04

How old are the children?

Original poster
Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 10:06

I'm not relying on cms as we live in an expensive part of the country and most of there income will just go on rent and living expenses

It's been a long marriage

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 02/07/2022 11:08

Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 10:06

I'm not relying on cms as we live in an expensive part of the country and most of there income will just go on rent and living expenses

It's been a long marriage

Long marriage the starting point is 50:50.

That's all assets including pension. I guess you have both had legal advice? I haven't heard of anyone personally who got a 75:25 split so is it for a particular reason?

Does it meet the other person's housing needs for themselves and the children when they stay?

I wouldn't consider a 75:25 split to be fair on the face of it, no.

Your original post is misleading as you are asking if a 60:40 split is fair. Why did you ask it that way?

Workawayxx · 02/07/2022 11:13

No, it doesn’t seem very fair on the other party to me. When they get a job, what will be their earnings compared to yours and why are they jobless? I think there’s more that needs to be taken into account here.

Original poster
Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 11:17

It's fair to say that there earnings will be considerably lower than mine, though they would not be the main carer of the children and most things like school uniform costs will fall on me

She has agreed to this deal and we both took legal advice and both of our solicitors signed off on it

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 02/07/2022 11:34

Well done then, on negotiating the most one-sided settlement I have ever personally heard of.

I keep reading about how pensions are overlooked in asset division by couples when they divorce, leaving one party in poverty in old age. I didn't actually believe anyone was stupid enough to agree to it.

ArcticSkewer · 02/07/2022 11:36

Even better if it's a public sector pension as they are notoriously undervalued for cetv purposes!

Original poster
Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 13:32

One of the reasons for this is according to both solicitors I can not transfer her any of my pension as neither of us are of pension age so it can not be accessed

I have gone to the maximum I can afford in reference to the house, both solicitors have agreed this

If we sold by the time you take in selling costs she would not necessarily get that more

It would also take a lot longer and we would need to have a massive sort out

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 02/07/2022 13:40

Is this what your pension company told you rather than solicitors?
Why can't she keep an interest in the house until a later stage?

Look, it's between you both what you agree.

You're on here because you have a guilty conscience and by framing it as 60:40 you are getting lots of nice supportive messages. It's been agreed, she's had legal advice, up to her. Women can be utterly financially obtuse over pensions. The deal works well for you, what is it you want from this thread? Absolution?

Original poster
Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 14:00

When I look at the divorce in percentages I seem to have done rather well,(though my debt has in reality gone up a lot to buy her out)

It was more to know if that is typical on the way we have done it

It's been done fairly with legal advice and this is how it's going to be

She declined an intrest in the house for a bigger payout now, the solicitor advised against an intrest as we would not have a clean break

More just pondering really, it's a big thing for me and I do not have anything to compare it against

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 02/07/2022 14:06

Don’t understand the bit about pensions. You don’t have to be of pension age to do a pension sharing order. These are common in divorces

you seem to have done remarkably well here to keep 75% as the higher earner

Original poster
Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 14:25

I'm just going off what the solicitors told me,

They said I could not share it and i could not use it as part of the divorce settlement

Instead I had to take out a larger mortgage do she got a larger share of the house (40)

OP posts:
Original poster
Ohmygoditsgonewrong · 02/07/2022 14:26

millymollymoomoo · 02/07/2022 14:06

Don’t understand the bit about pensions. You don’t have to be of pension age to do a pension sharing order. These are common in divorces

you seem to have done remarkably well here to keep 75% as the higher earner

Higher earner and I have to feed and house the kids

OP posts: