Hi all.
Long time lurker 1st time poster.
I am in the process of getting divorced from my wife. Married 9 years. We have 2 young children 3 and 5 boy and girl. I have been the main earner in the house hold. SO left work around 7years ago due to being sick, reduced her hours the year before leaving. Once pregnant SO didn’t return to work due to the strain of the pregnancy and we both agreed she needed to focus on the child. Along came another several years later. I am completely heart broken at the divorce. Long story short she asked for a divorce, demanded I leave the house and see the children every other weekend. I said no, we kind of agreed to try and make it work - this then turned out to be a lie. I overheard her discussion with several friends at different times where she admires to using me for years for cash and stopped loving me before our 2nd was born. Even her mother talked about using the children to get a better deal on spousal maintenance to screw me down. She has turned me into a joke and isolated me from our shared friends. We don’t get on as she is so cold right now, I want to get on for the children more than anything. I am refusing to leave the house as she will petition to keep it but am open to moving out once things are agreed.
anyway - I want to support her through spousal maintenance and some form of child support, I have no idea on what a fair amount would be. My ideal is that we split the parenting duty in a coparent arrangement - 50/50 with set rules shared in each house (bed times etc) to keep it consistent for the children. We have a few times a week with FaceTime calls on our week “off” so we keep in contact with the children, shared savings accounts for the children etc. I earn a good salary of 135K, £6,400 take home a month. We have around 160K in savings and assets.
i am thinking of offering to pay for the house she wants (around 380k) until the children are 18. Then To split the house 50/50 at this point unless she buys me out before for the market value at that time.
for 5 years I would support her with spousal payments starting at 2,000 a month (mortgage on top paid by me ) reducing each year by £400. Ex wife has no interest in getting a part time job or full time job right now.
what I would like to know is does this sound fair and reasonable. Or am I falling short or over offering? Am I missing anything? Anything I should consider? I want to do the right thing and ensure kids have a good life.
We are living in North East England.