Maintenance instead of equity?

[TheEndofIt]

Going through a nasty separation (in Scotland saw law slightly different).

I want to sell the family home as properties here (Edinburgh) go for at least 10-20% over home report valuation, which will give me about an extra 20-40K.

Ex wants to buy me out at home report value & instead pay child maintenance (around £525 pcm) which will increase my mortgage capacity by 20k ish.

I'd rather have the increased equity.

Any thoughts?

Might there be a possibility of you getting the house in exchange for no maintenance?

@Norush4 - no chance of that. I cannot afford the mortgage payments.

And Scots law favours a clean break. I think it's typically less generous to SAHP/lower earners than English law.

Sorry, that was meant for @Wallywobbles

@Norush4 - the law is the same for either parent - irrespective of gender -in other words either can go but would have to leave DC behind if other parent not in agreement.

However most people make a reasonable settlement/agreement rather than going to court.

My mortgage is with Nat West and they did include child maintenance (as written in minutes of agreement) in their decision as I wasn't working at the time.

Is your solicitor a family law specialist?

This sheds some light on the division of assets which would include pensions.

Yes, a very expensive & experienced family law specialist!

Equity all the way.

my ex stopped maintenance three years ago. And as he’s self employed his income difficult to prove.

i know a few people who’s NRP stopped paying - usually when a new relationship begins on either side.

I did have CM taken into account with mortgage (nationwide). But there were only 2/3 providers that do. I had a fabulous adviser at nationwide.

Aren't you going about this the wrong way? Don't you need to agree child arrangements, thinking only of the children's best interests and not of maintenance, first? Then once you've decided how much time the children will spend with each parent, you know what CMS is likely to be payable, and you can factor that in when deciding your financial agreement. You should not be making decisions about overnight contact based on money.

Bear in mind that CMS is only guaranteed if your child's other parent is working. Does your husband have a new partner or family members who could support him financially so he can give up work if he chooses to?

@OhNoWhatYouGonnaDo - in that scenario I would not be able to afford to stay round here.

Rather than sell the house, which would allow me to increase my mortgage capacity through the increased equity - he has offered maintenance instead.

It would be the decent thing to do, but he won't do it. And the legal advice I've had is that I can force the sale, but because he's offered to buy me out at cost price, I'd be liable for both sets of costs.

It's a shitty situation & my solution was to move away but he won't agree that either.

And yes, his family are fairly well off & will likely help him financially.

He has to pay child maintenance regardless. What is the CMS rate? It might be similar, as it sounds like he earns enough to pay that. It could even be more.

scots law doesn’t like maintenance arrangements. It’s very different to England.

What about a mesher order - you stay in the house til kids are of age?

Or dividing the house into 2 flats (rudimentary) - I've known one couple successfully do that even though the living space was smaller

They just changed it back after the children moved out

If your forced the house to be sold after costs would you be likely to come out with more money?

Can you use this to leverage for more in the split?

Is relocating something you can do via the courts? It may be that your older one would choose to stay but the younger one may want to go with you?

He has to pay maintenance anyway - it has no bearing on how you split your assets. Don’t let him offset one against the other. They are separate pots.

Also, his estimate for maintenance based on that salary is too low. That would be the figure for closer to £40-45k salary, I think. Check the CMS calculator though.

@LaurieFairyCake - unfortunately I can't afford the mortgage - it's £900a month - so not realistic - and hell would freeze over before he moved out to let me & kids move in

@RandomMess - by the time I paid court costs, I wouldn't be left with much - selling would give me 20k plus.

But I intend to use it for leverage.

But you can use the child support towards it

• his equity is just delayed

And you can go interest only so that you're not paying off his part of the mortgage ?

Thank you @LaurieFairyCake - I'll look in to these but I think it's going to be too tight financially

I really think you need to talk to a solicitor who will give you proper advice based on divorce in Scots law.

Child maintenance is a separate issue. I doubt a court will look kindly on a man who is using child contact arrangements to negotiate equity splits (‘I’ll have them less and pay you more maintenance as a result so I can have more equity’). Contact arrangements should be in the children’s interests not a financial bargaining tool for their father.

Thanks @SoggyPaper - I'm getting good legal advice.

Just horrified that he would rather pay maintenance & see kids less rather than give equity or sell house. Says it all, really.

He doesn't want a contact arrangement written in to the Minute if Agreement so it is "flexible" - but I need to know set days for work etc - so it has to go in.

Ooo how crafty! I bet he doesn't want contact written down. Make sure your childcare arrangments carefully OP.

@Norush4 - yup - there is no way I'm signing any agreement without a watertight child contact arrangement.

He is very manipulative & just doesn't agree to anything. Hence the current legal battle.

Have you checked what he has in pensions?
I would also ask how much extra he is willing to give you, if he says 50k over 10 years, ask for this to be written down as NOTHING to do with child support just an amount he promises to pay, for you to agree to sell the house to him. Then go for child support, if your still living with him can you claim now?
Also what other assets does he think are HIS, as everything needs to be shared car value, plus don't forget the value of the furniture.

I can see why you want to sell but I suppose from his perspective, he wants to keep the family home. It’s a nightmare trying to buy anything in Scotland at the moment.

if you can’t move areas, what will you do re accommodation?