Husband wants to charge me.... rent?

[ShatteredReality]

I am in the middle of a "difficult patch" with my husband. I don't have definite answers yet, but my mind is currently on "we need to separate".

Right now though we are in limbo. I think I will soon be moving out to get some time and space and decide how to proceed.

We have been talking about our problems for about 6 months now. Long story short - he doesn't listen much.

Yesterday he abruptly asked me "when am I moving out" and then last night he sent me a long message saying that because we are now on the verge of separating, the current finances are "unfair" and he wants me to start contributing to the mortgages and utility bills. We have always split costs this way - he pays those and I pay nursery fees, food etc.

The number comes out at something close to £1,200 which is more than my part time wage (and he knows this).

I work part time because we have 1 DD together, he works full time and earns more than me anyway.

I can't help but think this is him punishing me - his letter says things like "because we no longer sleep in the same bed" etc.

I am completely at a loss how to respond to him - is he allowed to do this? The mortgages are in joint names, but I am not sure about the utilities etc.

Can anybody offer any advice?

Unfortunately you've had some pretty bad advice on this thread re: the "right" to stay in the house until your DC is 18. There is no such right, and everyone can expect to see a decline in their standard of living post-divorce, because running two households is substantially more expensive than running one.

You do, however, need to speak to a family law solicitor and follow their advice. But unless you can afford to buy your ex out of the marital home and take over the mortgage alone, it is very likely at some point that the marital home will have to be sold.

Op started thread last April and hasn't been back since then

Don’t invoice him for caring for your own kid. Irs ludicrous. However if you’ve not decided then splitting costs and chores childcare 50/50 is the way forward.

this will need to be done potentially anyway. Depending on custody arrangements. Have you looked at what benefits and maintenance you are entitled to. Obvs depending on custody

I think it’s fine to split everything 5o/50 if splitting. But 5o/50 means everything inc childcare/