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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Who's filing for Divorce on Weds April 6th?

50 replies

Alexis92 · 04/04/2022 08:45

Separated with STBXH last year and we both agreed to wait for No Fault to come in. I can't wait to get the ball rolling now. Who else will be starting the process on Weds?

OP posts:
stealthninjamum · 04/04/2022 20:36

Me. We separated years ago and I think it’s about time I started the ball rolling.

Mumof3confused · 04/04/2022 23:02

Me! We only decided this year to separate but I’m not hanging around.

Levithecat · 06/04/2022 00:37

Me! Separated last June after 18 years. He met someone else in July and I’ve moved into my own home. Can’t wait to begin.
I even stayed up this evening but the new system isn’t live yet…

Good luck people X

starrynight21 · 06/04/2022 01:12

Best wishes to everyone doing this ! I live in Australia where it's been in use forever - my divorce was quick and easy . You'll be so glad that this has changed for the better.

blueshoes · 06/04/2022 02:09

Any reason to choose the start of the UK tax year?

Good luck with it!

19Bears · 06/04/2022 09:44

It goes live at 10am Flowers

Mumof3confused · 06/04/2022 09:53

@19Bears are you applying too?

I’ve managed to input my application already but it won’t let me send it for review at the final stage. I wonder if it will work after 10am or just generally glitchy?

19Bears · 06/04/2022 10:00

I'd love to @Mumof3confused I'd love to just get it done...

Good luck for yours!!

ComfyOldPants · 06/04/2022 13:28

@Mumof3confused have you managed to get it sent off? I’ve just filled in info for what I hope will be a nice big fat reduction in court fees, and now have a ref number for whenever it’s needed.

Is it all simple and easy? I think I’ve got info to hand that I need, just need to find out the postcode for the moron’s new address (he moved last week, not out of my house, thankfully that was long ago!)

Original poster
Alexis92 · 06/04/2022 13:33

Application done and submitted! After so much doubt around the decision, sadness at loss of marital home, hoped for future etc. I am glad to be taking the next step towards my new life!

OP posts:
stealthninjamum · 06/04/2022 13:37

Lucky you, dd2 is playing on my laptop and it feels wrong to pull her off to divorce her father.

Those of you who have managed will your divorce be straightforward? Are you using solicitors? I thought I would apply for the divorce today and then get a solicitor or mediator to write the agreements.

Original poster
Alexis92 · 06/04/2022 13:43

@stealthninjamum

Lucky you, dd2 is playing on my laptop and it feels wrong to pull her off to divorce her father.

Those of you who have managed will your divorce be straightforward? Are you using solicitors? I thought I would apply for the divorce today and then get a solicitor or mediator to write the agreements.

I'm hoping mine will be. No DC, only asset is marital home which we have agreed 50/50 split. Both earn same and have similar pensions and savings so we agreed to keep these separate. I met a solicitor at beginning to check I wasn't missing anything. Will use same one to do the financial consent order. All in all I expect solicitor fees will come in at less than £600 and then we have split the divorce application fee between us
OP posts:
ComfyOldPants · 06/04/2022 13:50

I’ll be using a solicitor for clean break order, that’s all. No current assets but have to protect future assets. I just have DD who complicates things, without her it would be the most simple thing ever. Never even shared a bank account with her dad, and definitely didn’t buy a house!

stealthninjamum · 06/04/2022 13:50

Good luck alexis that sounds quite straightforward. I am a sahm because I gave up work as dc have SEN. Stbexh is a high earner and has made very generous offers. I’m thinking we can complete the form E forms and maybe see a mediator to draw up the agreements. I saw solicitors so know roughly what I’m entitled to. Friends of ours had a difficult divorce and spent over £100k in legal and court fees so we are keen to not waste our assets by arguing.

Mumof3confused · 06/04/2022 18:29

@ComfyOldPants yes it did go through but it was quite glitchy. I’m waiting for my husband to respond to it now and then I think I will get further instructions. I have not yet been asked to pay the fee. We start with a mediator in a couple of weeks. We don’t have many assets but everything is a little bit complicated so we need some guidance.

Original poster
Alexis92 · 06/04/2022 19:09

Good luck to you too @stealthninjamum! I've just got in from work. Was a busy day and I think the sadness is beginning to hit. I know this is the right decision. We had so many issues and compatability problems and things we couldn't come back from. But I grew up with him, was with him almost 15 years and genuinely thought he was the person I would spend my life with. I don't generally miss him but I do miss the good times (thanks facebook memories 😒), and I miss the future I thought we had together, in the beautiful home we had

OP posts:
Mumof3confused · 06/04/2022 21:37

@Alexis92b may be more upset about the house than the man…

Mumof3confused · 06/04/2022 21:37

Sorry meant to say ‘I may be…’

Levithecat · 06/04/2022 21:39

Gosh that was simple. I was emotional yesterday going through our wedding box fo find our marriage certificate. But he’s been an asshole today so I’m reminded of why this is all happening. I paid the fee straight up and now need to go through solicitors for financial order.
Well done everyone - a big day

Original poster
Alexis92 · 06/04/2022 21:44

@Mumof3confused oh I am definitely more upset about the house haha! But seen some lovely flats on rightmove and excited to have a space that is all my own and realise I am very fortunate to be in a position where I can buy a place on my own. Not thrilled to be going back to leasehold again though!

OP posts:
JangolinaPitt · 07/04/2022 07:16

Watching with interest!
I have been waiting for this to come on to avoid having to list all the unreasonable behaviour.
Separated now and definitely not getting back together so we will do this at some point.

Betalife · 07/04/2022 08:57

Has anyone had any issues with submitting ? My solicitor said that their portal crashed on them. I was hoping for them to be able to submit yesterday we had everything ready!

How does the financial orders work in the new process? Is it all to be agreed in the 20 week process now ?

stealthninjamum · 07/04/2022 10:02

I started on the form but the wedding certificate is in the loft so I got about as far as setting up an account and giving our wedding date. Will try to finish later.

One of the reasons I delayed getting a divorce was I didn’t want to be angry but even after three and a half years I’m still angry and I hate my reaction. Just as dc were getting easier and we had a really lovely life, he even admitted he was happy but wanted ‘more’ from life. The selfishness of him - and so many other husbands on Mumsnet- is astounding. And it’s the dc who always suffer most. Rant over.

betalife I am not an expert but I thought the 20 weeks was a minimum time to go through the process and so it can take longer. I don’t expect to have sorted out our finances in 20 weeks, ours are complicated and I imagine there’ll be a huge volume of divorces as so many people have been waiting til yesterday’s changes.

Mumof3confused · 07/04/2022 10:12

The system kept crashing but I kept trying and eventually it went through.

It’s 20 weeks minimum but that doesn’t stop you from getting the consent order all sorted sooner. It’s just that you can’t have the decree absolute (or whatever the new term is) any sooner than 20 weeks - it may well take longer depending on how quickly you can agree on the terms.

ComfyOldPants · 09/04/2022 06:49

@Betalife it’s min 20 weeks until ‘conditional order’ (decree nisi) is granted to allow for reflection is some rubbish. I guess this is to filter out the people who file for divorce after an argument out of anger.

It’s my understanding that you can only submit financial orders etc once that has been granted, but in that 20 week wait you can get them ready to go.

Orders aside, it’s still 6 weeks after the conditional order has been granted before you can get final order (decree absolute).

I type like I know what I’m going in about. I don’t, but have been separated almost 18 months and was getting my ducks in a row for a looooong time before that, so LOTS of time for research!