How do divorce settlements work / in this situation

[Myhusbandisadick]

I am closer and closer to wanting to split it with DH and I think now it is the practicalities that make me question it.

We are both around 40 and have one child under one.

I earn £55K. He earns £37K. He has another child he pays CMS for but she is 16 so only for another two years.

He had a house when I moved in with him and I paid for mortgage jointly. We earned the same then but I paid more for bills and food and holidays as he had CMS to pay as well. He had around £40K equity in the house. I also paid for our wedding but not sure how much it was. Estimate £15K.

We have moved house and we still split the bills but I pay for food, holidays, everything child needs and most significant house expenses like home improvements (these are up to thousands).

I have £10K I have saved. I spend my savings on joint things like furniture mostly but only I have contributed.

We have been married 5 years.

If we split is it likely everything would be split 50/50 including savings? It is frustrating that I have paid for many of the home improvements that are likely to have increased the house value by quite a lot.
I think it should be a case of splitting the house equity 50/50 but then I "get back" what I have spent out of that.

I may speak to a solicitor as I would like to know where I stand and what I would be left with.

If we had the child 50/50 does that mean neither of us pay maintenance or would I have to pay if I earn more?

I expect he would have the child EOW as he does not have any family who could help with childcare. Now I can pay for full time nursery but on my own I'm not sure. I suppose I would have a smaller house and smaller mortgage. If we did 50/50 would he have to pay for half or the nursery fees?

It can't be so unusual for the female to he the higher earner and main carer of the child but it seems like it is so often the man who is the higher earner.

I think your biggest risk is that he will be awarded more than 50% of the house equity based on needs.

The courts will say he needs to be able to house his children too. It's not clear to me that he can adequately do that if you keep the house and give him £50k of the equity. He'll need a bigger deposit than you to make up his shortfall in earnings.

I also can't work out how you've come to your £100k figure. You say there was already £40k equity, and your improvements added £140k. So that should be £70k each even if you get 50/50.

In terms of the other things you mention.

• the wedding is a red herring. You've acknowledged that and said you'll drop it, which is good.
• how long have you been married, I can't tell? He might be able to argue that his deposit was pre-marital and ring-fence that. So you'd be splitting the remaining equity on top. I.e. he gets his £40k back plus half of the £100k extra you say the house has grown by. So £90k to him and £50k to you.
• you mentioned home improvements but again these are a red herring. They happened in the course of the marriage. If you hadn't spent it, presumably you'd have saved it and those savings would now have to be split.
• yes, debts are shared and need to be split. As do any other savings and investments (e.g. ISAs and pensions).
• you've been blasé about pensions but these are critical. You need to know how much is in both of yours ASAP. You may be able to offset some against house equity.
• if you go 50/50 on child overnights he will be responsible for sorting childcare on his days. How likely is this? Can / will he do 50/50. If he has (for instance) every other weekend and a weekday, you'll sort the bill of childcare, but he will pay you child maintenance.

I think that's the gist of it. But in essence you both need to be housed adequately. Whether you stay in the house or not will largely depend whether there's then enough to house him.

He could get more than 50% on a needs basis. If it's a v short marriage then 50% is likely to hold but he can probably ring-fence his deposit.

Think carefully about child arrangements and what is realistic and best for your child.

Make sure you're including pensions, savings and debts in the overall pot.

Definitely see a lawyer.