Anyone fancy a support thread - 1st Sept is Independence Day!

[Elenasbracelet]

Been on other threads and realised my marriage is a complete right off. A fairly miserable marriage counselling session made it as clear as it could be.

I've spoken to a couple of solicitors and I've got some support and a bit of savings, enough to make my move.

Just wondered if anyone else was going through similar and wanted a place we can vent?

Not too much detail sharing, more having a safe place to rant?

I'm really scared and feel like this is a safety in numbers situation.

Yes I'll join.

Yes please. My husband left me recently and I have a couple of small kids. We’re coparenting now but I’m finding it all very sad and worrying.

Hey :)

How are you both feeling today? Im swinging from brave to weepy. Hiding in my car whilst DD is at a birthday party.

Yes please!

Brave and weepy too Elena. And scared and angry and lost and lonely.

Keeping myself busy; meeting friends and doing housework while ex has the kids. Meeting a solicitor soon to get some advice.

Good luck with the solicitor @Stayingstrongish

Birthday party yesterday was just full of seemingly perfect families. I know you shouldn't compare but it made me angry. I've put so much into this marriage and I feel robbed. I still picked him though didn't I? So it was my mistake really.

@Elenasbracelet don’t forget some couples will be happy but others not. Since separating we’ve been to a few parties with the children and just pretended everything was normal.

Yes. I went to a wedding a few weeks ago alone. It felt very odd and sad but I did it. Yes, I feel that 'it's my fault because I picked him' but women take all the blame. My dh behaved quite differently when I met him although the signs were there but I ignored them.

Happy to join in but two years down the line. Ask me anything. And hugs all round

I guess you can't stay home for the rest of your life can you?

And we'll be gossip for five minutes until something else comes along. I never really noticed how few of DD's friends came from separated / divorced families.

She's only eight. I know she hates all the fighting but I'm so worried about doing this to her.

How are everyone else's kids holding up?

Much appreciated @BelladiMamma - do you have kids? How are they now?

@Elenasbracelet

Much appreciated *@BelladiMamma* - do you have kids? How are they now?

14 & 18 now

10 & 14 when things started to go badly wrong

12 & 15 when we told them

The 12 yo DD had it worse as my ex was already quite neglectful of her needs. The then 15 yo DS (there's nearly 4 years between them so depends on what month in the year it is on the age gap) had already started to detach from his DF as he'd bullied him and been unreasonable with him and my DS was too intelligent to remain trapped in that dynamic. It does still happen but my DS is good at taking distance now

The 14 nearly 15 yo DD has had a lot of support at school, from friends and also therapy. I just went ahead and organised it and ignored the ex

I was thinking about trying some councilling for the two of us. I think all three of us need it.

@Elenasbracelet

I was thinking about trying some councilling for the two of us. I think all three of us need it.

It can be very helpful even if it's not a magic bullet x

Can I join? Slightly different in that it's 4 yrs we've been separated but only just starting the divorce. It's going to be awful but needs to be done. 2 young DC.

Seeing a solicitor in a couple of weeks

Morning all, how are everyone's bank holiday plans shaping up?

I'm home alone as I was uninvited to H's family for the weekend. Relieved but I'm going to miss DD really badly. They're not back until mid next week.

Who has nice plans?

I'm assuming the DC will be gone for Sunday, as usual. How long is your DD away for @Elenasbracelet ? It's hard when they're not here until it, that said it's rare mine are ever gone for longer than a daytime so I'm also craving a break.

We've got a day out planned tomorrow which we're all looking forward to.

I have the two kids half the weekend, other than that no plans. I’m quite looking forward to chilling out in my garden though, the toddler is not sleeping well at all and I’m not able to get to sleep till gone 2-3am most nights so pretty exhausted.

Theyre not back until Wednesday. Let's hope there's some nice weather for garden chilling

I guess it's a good chance to catch up on all the jobs that need doing.

Just sending big love to all of you ladies going through this 'being without the children but it's a kind of holiday' thing.

Get yourselves a lovely routine and indulge yourselves. Rest, recuperate, read or do something Adrenalin rush-y that gives you a buzz and makes you feel alive ❤️

Finding it hard today knowing that the kids are having fun with my ex. It’s a beautiful day and they’ve got all sorts of fun activities planned. I want them to enjoy themselves but I miss them and feel odd not being all together. Sending lots of solidarity to you all.

Sorry for the silence. It's all gone a bit mad here. Family crisis completely from left field put a spanner in the works but first proper appointment with solicitor this week.

Good luck if you're getting the kids back in school this week!

Hi, can I join too? Still in early stages of separation, trying to keep it amicable as under same roof at present. We have 2 teenagers at home, and will have them on alternate weeks once living separately. Working on negotiating a separation agreement, has anyone else done that?