Anyone fancy a support thread - 1st Sept is Independence Day!

[Elenasbracelet]

Been on other threads and realised my marriage is a complete right off. A fairly miserable marriage counselling session made it as clear as it could be.

I've spoken to a couple of solicitors and I've got some support and a bit of savings, enough to make my move.

Just wondered if anyone else was going through similar and wanted a place we can vent?

Not too much detail sharing, more having a safe place to rant?

I'm really scared and feel like this is a safety in numbers situation.

https://www.mediateuk.co.uk/the-ultimate-guide-to-a-separation-agreement/

This might be a good place to start?

Make sure that you're not agreeing to anything that might put you in a more vulnerable position further on. Without knowing anything about you or your circumstances, be very careful if you're in an abusive relationship or your STBEXH has any history for being dishonest about money

Otherwise good luck and hope it goes well

Thanks for this link. I think I will need a solicitor to look at any proposed agreement before I sign anything. STBXH has been reasonable up to a point but I don’t know how much I can rely on that, so any information is useful to understand the process and the pitfalls.

Welcome @Totteringtime - how are you finding seperation under the same roof?

My decree whatever it is came through last Friday so I'm officially 100% free

Good luck everyone

Now I just need to Figure out how to cope with his ongoing strange behaviour but I figure hobbies and meditation are all good at that

Congratulations BelladiMamma, hope things are smoother for you going forward. Sharing a house has been increasingly difficult, so when stbxh announced that he didn’t see why he should hold back on meeting ‘new people’ I asked him to go stay at his parents place. Having difficulty keeping lid on roiling pot of emotions anyway and really don’t need the extra slap in the face of him coming in full of beans after a date. Beginning to wonder if I really knew who I have been married to all this time. This could go sour easily, so the more space apart the better. It’s not forever, will file for divorce under the new no fault rules that come into effect in April. So by this time next year the divorce will be complete and contact will just be down to coparenting. Can’t happen soon enough.

Congratulations @BelladiMamma - do you feel relief or a bit delicate given what a journey it's been?

Had first session with solicitor today. Not sure I can wait until April, apparently I have plenty to go for unreasonable behaviour but it's about pulling the band side off with out too much damage I think.

@Totteringtime - that must be rubbish for you. They can be so vicious can't they?

@Elenasbracelet

Congratulations *@BelladiMamma* - do you feel relief or a bit delicate given what a journey it's been?

Had first session with solicitor today. Not sure I can wait until April, apparently I have plenty to go for unreasonable behaviour but it's about pulling the band side off with out too much damage I think.

@Totteringtime - that must be rubbish for you. They can be so vicious can't they?

I don't know really. I do know that he takes up a lot less headspace than he used to, but is still capable of throwing me off kilter.

But not everyone else needs to have such a difficult separation. It's just that every bind with him has always been difficult.

My husband is getting very nasty again. He's in the process of looking for a flat to rent. Struggling to get something decent within his price range. I'm doing my damn best to be amicable..
He's starting to manipulate the children against me. Again. I'm at breaking point. I really do not know how much more I can take. He's breaking me down. This is all so hard.

@Millshake01 do you think he realises what he's doing with the kids? Some times my STBXH says things and I just don't think he understands the impact he's having.

@BelladiMamma I'm very much looking forward to being in the same boat, although I can see it's not a magic bullet.