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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

If stbx pays the mortgage where I live, should he also pay some home repairs?

52 replies

sallysm · 20/06/2021 11:21

My stbx says he'll pay the mortgage on my behalf until our child is 18, as I'm ineligible to be named on the mortgage. However he'll deduct the mortgage payment from child maintenance he pays me.

However, he wants a percentage of the equity at some point in the future.

My point is that if he wants (eg 50% or 30%) of the equity in many years to come, when the house sells (at some trigger point), then he should continue to be liable for that percentage of the home maintenance until that time. (eg 50% or 30% of roof, window, door, household repair costs)

Just wondering how others have approached this situation, or what court has / might think is reasonable in such a case.

Personally I think its very reasonable that if I'm essentially paying for the mortgage (deducted from CM he pays me) going forward, then he should be liable for a % of home repairs if he wants a % of equity out at the end.

What's your opinion or experience?

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 20/06/2021 11:29

How old is your child

There are multiple things to consider
His lawyer will absolutely say no to this arrangement because you can still claim cms ( if in England )
Usually the one remaining in the house takes on full financial responsibility for paying the mortgage and it’s upkeep
Experience says you are wrong
Have you considered selling?
What if he can’t afford it in years to come ?
You need whatever is agreed to be a legal arrangement and it’s highly highly unlikely that any court would agree he has to pay additional upkeep ( or mortgage in lieu of child maintenance) IMO

PegasusReturns · 20/06/2021 12:02

There’s a reason courts prefer clean breaks. This unfortunately has nightmare written all over it.

There are multiple issues but the biggest is him staying on the mortgage will likely prevent him obtaining another mortgage so if his circumstances change he’ll likely want to renegotiate his position.

Why are you ineligible for a mortgage?

whensmynexthol1day · 20/06/2021 12:50

What do you gain if he is just deducting it from child maintenance? He's not really paying for the mortgage if that is the arrangement?

LemonTT · 20/06/2021 15:39

Like others say unless court ordered this is an untenable situation for you and him. Are you married?

millymollymoomoo · 20/06/2021 15:54

You also had a lot of advice on your other threads

He only earns 40k
He won’t be expected to pay the mortgage and him doing so will drastically limit his ability to get a mortgage
Have either of you actually had legal advice?

millymollymoomoo · 20/06/2021 15:58

You also seem to think he owes you loads as he chose to leave. It does not work that that and the sooner you realise it the better

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/06/2021 16:03

Haven’t seen previous threads by why would he possibly agree to this? What if he said no to paying the mortgage and you had to sent somewhere? You wouldn’t be liable for repairs but you’d lose having an asset and rent might be more expensive.

Him paying the mortgage is doing you a favour because it presumably means he can’t buy anywhere else. What if he changes his mind, loses his job, gets ill and can’t work?

HosannainExcelSheets · 20/06/2021 20:22

Short answer is no. You benefit massively if you live in the house and essentially use his equity as well as yours to reduce mortgage payments.

This sounds like it cannot work for anyone involved.

drpet49 · 20/06/2021 20:34

You also seem to think he owes you loads as he chose to leave. It does not work that that and the sooner you realise it the better

^This. His solicitor will say no to this arrangement anyway.

CandyLeBonBon · 20/06/2021 20:39

Op, I've seen your previous threads where you are expecting him to live on £1100 so you can stay in the house and not have to work?

Honestly, I really think you need to get some decent advice because your idea of what's fair is way way off. Your ex cannot be forced to support you in the way you want him to. It's hugely unfair to him.

Please get legal advice.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 20/06/2021 20:45

If you split the proceeds 50/50 in the end then the repairs should be 50/50 too. If proceeds are split 70/30 then the repairs should be paid that percentage too.

PegasusReturns · 20/06/2021 21:02

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe although that doesn’t account for the fact that the ex will be giving up any opportunity for a stable home, let alone home ownership.

If the ex really doesn’t only earn £40k then the house needs to be sold and the equity split now.

FrownedUpon · 20/06/2021 21:08

You need to sell the house and start afresh. That arrangement isn’t fair on him.

blackcurrantjam · 21/06/2021 13:10

Hes not really paying the mortgage if he's deducting it from child maintenance.

I agree this is a nightmare scenario. Clean break better. Sell up and split equity. Fresh start.

GoldenBlue · 21/06/2021 15:17

No he won't be liable for repairs in this scenario.

I think he'd be daft to allow himself to be tied in this way anyway. Sounds like the house should be sold and for you each take responsibility to house yourselves.

Tuberoses · 21/06/2021 15:20

So you’re ineligible to be on the mortgage but he’s paying the mortgage on your behalf with your money? Who actually owns the house on the deeds?

Original poster
sallysm · 21/06/2021 18:55

He's on the deeds and mortgage, but I understand its classed as a marital home as that's what we lived in through marriage.

So from all your replies, I can see there's some mixed opinion about whether an Ex, entitled to a share of equity in the future, should be paying an equal percentage of property upkeep, until the time the property is sold.

About us selling up, it'd be much more expensive for me to rent a small place, than to stay in the mortgaged home. Maybe some day in the far future I may be able to take over the mortgage. But for now I think best is to stay put. That's why I'm trying to understand his liability for home upkeep, if he wants a share of the equity in many years to come...

OP posts:
PegasusReturns · 21/06/2021 20:15

About us selling up, it'd be much more expensive for me to rent a small place, than to stay in the mortgaged home.

But that is not your exes problem. You cannot expect him to deprive himself of somewhere to live just because you want to stay in the marital home.

The only way this will go is that you sell the house and split the equity. Possibly 60/40 best case scenario in your favour.

Any other assets will be split.

You will then need to get a job and/or claim benefits. He will pay you child maintenance.

You’re currently living in la la land.

PegasusReturns · 21/06/2021 20:17

Oh and even if on the off chance he agrees to your absurd plan (he won’t his lawyer won’t allow it) as soon as someone else intervenes (a sibling, a friend, a new partner) he will back out.

CandyLeBonBon · 21/06/2021 20:17

@PegasusReturns

About us selling up, it'd be much more expensive for me to rent a small place, than to stay in the mortgaged home.

But that is not your exes problem. You cannot expect him to deprive himself of somewhere to live just because you want to stay in the marital home.

The only way this will go is that you sell the house and split the equity. Possibly 60/40 best case scenario in your favour.

Any other assets will be split.

You will then need to get a job and/or claim benefits. He will pay you child maintenance.

You’re currently living in la la land.

I hear La La land is quite nice this time of year?! Grin
CandyLeBonBon · 21/06/2021 20:18

@sallysm

He's on the deeds and mortgage, but I understand its classed as a marital home as that's what we lived in through marriage.

So from all your replies, I can see there's some mixed opinion about whether an Ex, entitled to a share of equity in the future, should be paying an equal percentage of property upkeep, until the time the property is sold.

About us selling up, it'd be much more expensive for me to rent a small place, than to stay in the mortgaged home. Maybe some day in the far future I may be able to take over the mortgage. But for now I think best is to stay put. That's why I'm trying to understand his liability for home upkeep, if he wants a share of the equity in many years to come...

Is he also paying for his own accommodation op? I presume he is?
AnneLovesGilbert · 21/06/2021 20:26

it'd be much more expensive for me to rent a small place, than to stay in the mortgaged home.

Indeed. Hence him doing you a massive favour if he’s daft enough to agree to this.

Meanwhile you’re happy for him to take on the more expensive private rent and expect him fund repairs to the home you’re expecting sole use of.

Has he already moved out or are you still living together? If the latter, what if refuses to move out?

VodselForDinner · 21/06/2021 20:40

About us selling up, it'd be much more expensive for me to rent a small place, than to stay in the mortgaged home. Maybe some day in the far future I may be able to take over the mortgage. But for now I think best is to stay put

What’s better for you is no longer any of his concern.

He earns £40k a year, he’s not going to be able to house you and himself.

You need to either downsize so that you can afford to pay rent, or get a job and buy him out.

You’ve had so much advice on this but the message never changes- he doesn’t have to make himself homeless for your benefit.

Tuberoses · 21/06/2021 20:46

So he’s using your money to pay for a house that’s solely in his name and which you therefore have no claim over? You’re worse than mad!

Bluntness100 · 21/06/2021 20:49

How olds your child? I can’t imagine this working. Did he leave you?

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