If stbx pays the mortgage where I live, should he also pay some home repairs?

[sallysm]

My stbx says he'll pay the mortgage on my behalf until our child is 18, as I'm ineligible to be named on the mortgage. However he'll deduct the mortgage payment from child maintenance he pays me.

However, he wants a percentage of the equity at some point in the future.

My point is that if he wants (eg 50% or 30%) of the equity in many years to come, when the house sells (at some trigger point), then he should continue to be liable for that percentage of the home maintenance until that time. (eg 50% or 30% of roof, window, door, household repair costs)

Just wondering how others have approached this situation, or what court has / might think is reasonable in such a case.

Personally I think its very reasonable that if I'm essentially paying for the mortgage (deducted from CM he pays me) going forward, then he should be liable for a % of home repairs if he wants a % of equity out at the end.

What's your opinion or experience?

@VodselForDinner

About us selling up, it'd be much more expensive for me to rent a small place, than to stay in the mortgaged home. Maybe some day in the far future I may be able to take over the mortgage. But for now I think best is to stay put

What’s better for you is no longer any of his concern.

He earns £40k a year, he’s not going to be able to house you and himself.

You need to either downsize so that you can afford to pay rent, or get a job and buy him out.

You’ve had so much advice on this but the message never changes- he doesn’t have to make himself homeless for your benefit.

Oh is this not the first thread?

No it’s not the first thread. Everyone said she was living in cloud cuckoo land

Op expects her ex to fund her lifestyle, not to have to work, and pay for himself all on a salary of 40k because he left

I. Assuming you still haven’t bothered to get actual legal advice? If you had, or even if he had, you’d know that what you’re expecting is completely unreasonable.
If your ex is daft enough to pay your mortgage, then in 15 years the house will have to be sold and you will have to hand over half of the equity to him. Don’t forget though, that if your house goes up in value by, say, 150%, all the other houses will also have gone up by the same % and you will have to downsize considerably. Also, if at any point in that 15 years you cohabit, the house has to be sold immediately.

Oh is this not the first thread?

Nope.

Same MO the whole time. OP posts a ridiculous scenario based on how she can get her (soon to be) former-husband to pay her CMS, mortgage, spousal maintenance (though she seems to have dropped that on this thread), everyone tells her she’s nuts to think that’ll happen, she adds lots of “what ifs”, but doesn’t engage with the people giving her actual advice.

Rinse and repeat.

Ultimately, the OP doesn’t want to work. She always wants as much CMS(/SM) as possible although it’ll leave the ex unable to house himself, and refuses to answer questions around whether he will have his child on any overnights (so I assume the answer is yes but OP doesn’t want to say that as people will point out that CM will go down).

@VodselForDinner

Oh is this not the first thread?

Nope.

Same MO the whole time. OP posts a ridiculous scenario based on how she can get her (soon to be) former-husband to pay her CMS, mortgage, spousal maintenance (though she seems to have dropped that on this thread), everyone tells her she’s nuts to think that’ll happen, she adds lots of “what ifs”, but doesn’t engage with the people giving her actual advice.

Rinse and repeat.

Ultimately, the OP doesn’t want to work. She always wants as much CMS(/SM) as possible although it’ll leave the ex unable to house himself, and refuses to answer questions around whether he will have his child on any overnights (so I assume the answer is yes but OP doesn’t want to say that as people will point out that CM will go down).

The subject of the OPs STBXH did come up on her previous thread. OP said he's never done anything wrong as a father but she would prefer to have the child 7 days a week. No doubt because anything other than this would reduce any payments of CM. God knows what the OP will do once the child turns 18 and CM stops

Never thought I' d say this but poor husband. Also child support is for supporting the child not for enabling the mother not to work,in essence its the child's money.

You need clear lines of definition. Investigate getting on deeds and mortgage yourself as well as your ex. Get it drawn up properly that maintenance is your share of mortgage repayments and half equity is yours. When DC are 18 split equity and sell house. Both equally responsible for necessary maintenance or if you or your stbex pay that is taken into account on sale. Get a job to help yourself and you'll have a deposit to move on at the end.

You again 🤣 I'm just going to say it - sell the house, get a job, this fantasy ain't gonna happen when your ex earns 40k.

He can promise you all the tea in China. What it boils down to is what the Cms calculator says and legally
Not a penny more. I've be chasing my ex for over three years now. I'm owed £20k. So don't be banking on that to pay your way. Be financially independent. Even if that includes benefits for now and build up to when your child is 18 you can support yourself. Like other grown ups do.

I hear quite a bit of negativity here. But through that, is a glimpse of reality, maybe even realism, from some people, who are acknowledging that if he should be due any equity from a future sale, then he should be contributing into maintaining the property also. So thank you for those that contributed that. Maybe they were the ones talking from experience. Though everyone's opinion is welcome.

@sallysm

I hear quite a bit of negativity here. But through that, is a glimpse of reality, maybe even realism, from some people, who are acknowledging that if he should be due any equity from a future sale, then he should be contributing into maintaining the property also. So thank you for those that contributed that. Maybe they were the ones talking from experience. Though everyone's opinion is welcome.

Op. You're in la la land.

Maybe they were the ones talking from experience. Though everyone's opinion is welcome

Oh OP! One person on this thread has suggested he ought to share the cost of repairs and it was pointed out they’ve failed to account for the signify that disadvantage to him of not being able to buy another house.

Everybody else has encouraged you to face reality.

Eh? Has he actually agreed to this?

But he paying towards a mortgage on a house he can't live in and have to pay to live elsewhere.
Would he have the money for repairs.

Are you aware he could actually charge you occupational rent for staying in the property? But he isn't. You seem to be getting a very good deal already. If you can't afford the upkeep, you really can't afford to live in the house.

I’m not going to lie, I fair enjoy your threads.

Your ex should, and probably will be advised too, just aim to get the house sold with equal equity, apply for as many overnights as he can get (standard tends to be one per week and EOW as long as he stays local) and pay you the CMS calculated amount for that.

At least this is slightly more realistic than the last one as this is coming from the child maintenance and not ‘extra’.
And no OP he will not be expected to pay from maintenance on the house. Unless of course he charges you rent.

He is not responsible for any contribution to upkeep of the house in order to retain his % in future equity. He’s not even required to pay any part of the mortgage ( unless court ordered through a settlement which in 40k salary won’t happen)
Essentially you are referring to mesher order
That does not require him to contribute to ongoing maintenance and upkeep- it merely defers his share - and he’s entitled to that because in the interim he is not able to take that cash and invest elsewhere
I echo what someone else says upthread- you are in la la land and your poor husband
How about getting a job and paying your own way ?

@sallysm

I hear quite a bit of negativity here. But through that, is a glimpse of reality, maybe even realism, from some people, who are acknowledging that if he should be due any equity from a future sale, then he should be contributing into maintaining the property also. So thank you for those that contributed that. Maybe they were the ones talking from experience. Though everyone's opinion is welcome.

It's not negativity - it's realistic advice from people who have been there and gone to court and know what the outcome should be so it's fair to your exH as well as you and your DC.

Some men, no doubt, don't realise what they are entitled to. But you are well and truly trying to shaft your ex. You should be ashamed.

Only hearing what you want to hear? Well good luck.

If his solicitor agrees to that they need reported.

The best thing is a clean break.

You will be responsible for your own living expenses post split. He would be an absolute fool to agree to your plan.

Oh wow. You again

The advice you get this time won't be any different.

Please stop expecting this poor man to fund your housing and lifestyle while you don't work.

You know what you need to do

@sallysm

I hear quite a bit of negativity here. But through that, is a glimpse of reality, maybe even realism, from some people, who are acknowledging that if he should be due any equity from a future sale, then he should be contributing into maintaining the property also. So thank you for those that contributed that. Maybe they were the ones talking from experience. Though everyone's opinion is welcome.

Should doesn't mean will or you can make. Should be contributing is an answer based on what those PPs think is ethical not what is legally possible. Court isn't going to force him to go halves in repairs or to force him to continue paying the mortgage. Look at the CMS calculator online. Even CMS you can't guarantee. He might get retrenched or sick or refuse to pay. While you might eventually get what he owes if he stops paying CMS, the house would still get repossessed in the mean time. If CMS is enough to cover mortgage you could make the loan repayments yourself out of the CMS. But that's assuming he sticks to what he's said and doesn't try and force a sale, which he could go back to court to do. No matter how you play with the facts you're not going to get what you want. No court will force him to support you so you don't have to work.

As other posters have said you need a clean break in the financial order. Otherwise this will constantly be a stress for both of you.

You also need to sell the house and divide the equity to the amount as (a) suggested by the solicitor and then (b) agreed by stbex and his solicitor and then (c) agreed and stamped by the court.

Eg you might divide it 50/50 or 60/40 or 70/30 etc.

Keep the CM separate.

I hear quite a bit of negativity here. But through that, is a glimpse of reality, maybe even realism, from some people, who are acknowledging that if he should be due any equity from a future sale, then he should be contributing into maintaining the property also

It isn’t negativity though it is how your life is going to be but you don’t seem to be living in reality.

Judge will say the house needs to be sold and depending on the length of the marriage you will get a share of the house. (It might not be 50/50 if it is a short marriage) Your ex will get the children for half the week so there won’t be any CM

You need to stop fantasising about how you are going to take your ex to the cleaners
and thinking that £40k per year is some sort of rock star salary that you can demand anything. It is embarrassing

Also you do realise that if you take over the mortgage the house doesn’t automatically become yours.

What you think you deserve and what you will get are 2 very different things and the sooner you take on board that the better your life will be.