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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Inheritance confusion

28 replies

Joanna000603 · 09/06/2021 23:06

My STBXH keeps moving the goal posts. He made me a financial offer today. This was on track to what I had in mind. Then he calls to say that he wants to go to court instead, which he previously said he wanted to avoid.
He told me that everything he owns is inherited and I will come away with virtually nothing.
We both have solicitors. He says that mines not doing a very good job.
I’ve gone from feeling good that we’re getting somewhere to feeling anxious.

OP posts:
Northernsoullover · 09/06/2021 23:07

Why does he say yours isn't doing a good job? Does he not like what he/she is saying?

ArtfulScreamer · 09/06/2021 23:20

Sounds like he's trying to gaslight you, so what if everything is inherited it still forms part of the marital assets. If he's not happy with your solicitor chances are it's because they're acting in your best interests as they should be.

PurpleSweetPeas · 09/06/2021 23:25

Mine said the same about everything being inherited. Not one bean of difference did this make! It's a martial asset and that's that

Original poster
Joanna000603 · 10/06/2021 00:38

I don’t know why, think it might be mind games.

OP posts:
Original poster
Joanna000603 · 10/06/2021 00:42

He’s a covert narcissist, so it’s probably about the control. He wants me back and says if it goes to court I could get zero!

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 10/06/2021 06:43

How long were you married ?

LawnFever · 10/06/2021 06:45

I don’t think anything being inherited makes the slightest difference, the assets are his now. I think he’s just trying to wind you up, ignore him.

Soontobe60 · 10/06/2021 06:56

Sometimes, courts will ignore a very recent inheritance particularly if the marriage has been short.
How long were you married and when did he get the inheritance?

celtiethree · 10/06/2021 07:00

The answer will depend on where you live in the U.K. in Scotland inheritance isn’t a marital asset unless converted i.e. used to buy the marital home.

noideawhatusernametochoose · 10/06/2021 09:30

It might be easier (though more expensive) if you tell him to communicate on this via your solicitors.

Sounds as if he's trying to unnerve you. When he says your solicitors aren't doing a good job, does he really mean they aren't doing a good job of getting him what he wants?!

He's likely to be talking out of his proverbial - I'd go back to your solicitors and ignore him.

if you're in England/Wales I think what he's saying is complete bullshit.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 10/06/2021 09:47

Lol at him saying your solicitor isn't doing a very good job. That means the exact opposite. Think about it - if you REALLY had a crap solicitor that wasn't doing a good job do you seriously think your ex would advise you of this? Grin.

Ignore him and crack on with court . The court will issue a fair settlement - your ex won't.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 10/06/2021 20:05

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Lol at him saying your solicitor isn't doing a very good job. That means the exact opposite. Think about it - if you REALLY had a crap solicitor that wasn't doing a good job do you seriously think your ex would advise you of this? Grin.

Ignore him and crack on with court . The court will issue a fair settlement - your ex won't.

This is what I think too.

My ex, when we were divorcing, actually emailed my solicitor to tell her how bad she was Grin She was brilliant! He hated that my solicitor was a woman Angry

Original poster
Joanna000603 · 10/06/2021 22:23

@millymollymoomoo

How long were you married ?
28 years
OP posts:
Original poster
Joanna000603 · 10/06/2021 22:24

@Soontobe60

Sometimes, courts will ignore a very recent inheritance particularly if the marriage has been short. How long were you married and when did he get the inheritance?
We’ve been married 38years and the inheritance is 20years ago.
OP posts:
Original poster
Joanna000603 · 10/06/2021 22:26

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Lol at him saying your solicitor isn't doing a very good job. That means the exact opposite. Think about it - if you REALLY had a crap solicitor that wasn't doing a good job do you seriously think your ex would advise you of this? Grin.

Ignore him and crack on with court . The court will issue a fair settlement - your ex won't.

I think you’re right and he knows how to manipulate me. Ironically, the history of our marriage!
OP posts:
Original poster
Joanna000603 · 10/06/2021 22:30

@noideawhatusernametochoose

It might be easier (though more expensive) if you tell him to communicate on this via your solicitors.

Sounds as if he's trying to unnerve you. When he says your solicitors aren't doing a good job, does he really mean they aren't doing a good job of getting him what he wants?!

He's likely to be talking out of his proverbial - I'd go back to your solicitors and ignore him.

if you're in England/Wales I think what he's saying is complete bullshit.

He definitely has unnerved me and knows how to do it. I think he’s turning nasty because I have rejected him and wants me to have doubts.
OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 10/06/2021 22:33

He’s no chance! Go to court, call his bluff. He’ll be the loser

Original poster
Joanna000603 · 11/06/2021 08:44

I will contact my solicitor on Monday. He’s now saying that he’s going to take a huge decrease in his salary because his business can’t afford to pay him as much.

OP posts:
noideawhatusernametochoose · 11/06/2021 12:26

20 years ago? He's got to be joking. Not a chance.

He's possibly serious about taking a decrease in salary but surely he's had to declare business accounts and they will show that his business can afford to pay him as much :)

He is an arse isn't he.

MrsSquirrel · 11/06/2021 12:32

His behaviour is proof that you are better off without him. Ignore what he says and listen to your solicitor's advice.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 11/06/2021 13:12

Unless your trying to claim spousal support it doesn't matter if he takes a decrease in salary. what matters is how the assets are divided.

Stop talking to him about money. All he's going to do is lie and try to intimidate you.

millymollymoomoo · 11/06/2021 18:32

With that length of marriage and date of inheritance all of it will be in the pot regardless of whose name are on the assets

Notaroadrunner · 11/06/2021 18:36

@Joanna000603

I will contact my solicitor on Monday. He’s now saying that he’s going to take a huge decrease in his salary because his business can’t afford to pay him as much.
Stop responding to him. Don't take calls. I'd suggest all contact be via your solicitors from now on. He's being a dick!
SummerSazz · 11/06/2021 19:00

I was told if the inheritance hadn't been needed for family living and was ring fenced in an account that hadn't needed to be accessed then there may be an argument for it to be excluded. However mine was much more recent than 20 years.

Was the money spent on house, rent, cars, living expenses or kept separate?

almahart · 12/06/2021 16:15

@SummerSazz

I was told if the inheritance hadn't been needed for family living and was ring fenced in an account that hadn't needed to be accessed then there may be an argument for it to be excluded. However mine was much more recent than 20 years.

Was the money spent on house, rent, cars, living expenses or kept separate?

Me too. This clearly isn't the case here and he doesn't have a chance of arguing it