Very new to this very scared and upset

[LysistrataVickers]

Just a question really. I earn £19k. H earns circa £50k.

We have a house with around £80k left on the mortgage in his name. We are married.

2 x Kids as of sept will both go to school

It’s unlikely unless he basically gifts it to you, otherwise he’s entitled to half the equity. Depends is there enough savings, pension etc that you’re half could buy him out?

You'll most likely be required to buy him out so you'd have to remortgage - can you afford the repayments on your salary?

No. I can't afford it. Thought so and thank you for your advice. Shit. I'm so broken.

How much equity is in the house op? Ans how much savings do you have between you?

He raised a hand to me and called me a piece of shit. I can't stand this. Just because he earns more and I had to take a salary cut and break to look after our children. I'm so done.

@Bluntness100 excuse my ignorance I'm not sure what equity means but we have around £9k in savings which I have contributed to via inheritance. In the course of our 11 year relationship I've contributed around £15k in inheritance funds that have gone on housing.

Sorry that should be £25k

Equity is the value of the house that is not mortgaged.

So if the house is worth 200 k and you owe 80 on the mortgage then the equity is 120k. This means if you split and the house is sold, you’d get half of that, 60k.

Equity means the difference between what's left on your mortgage and what the house would be worth on the open market. The starting point would generally be 50/50 on that plus savings . He will need to pay you maintenance for the kids depending on what he earns. You may get slightly more of the equity depending on circumstances.

Oh I see sorry, the house is worth about £270k.

You need full financial disclosure and to speak to a solicitor. The priority will be housing the DC and all marital assets and debts and earning potential is taken into consideration.

Sorry I should say half as a starting point, you may well get more as the lower earner. It’s irrelevant who paid what during rhe marruage.

In addition you will possibly be entitled to some of his pension

So if there is 100k on his pension and the cash transfer value is 50, then you’d be given 25k.

Plus half the savings and any other assets. A judge might allocate it 60 /40 in your favour as you’re the lower earner.

Then on top of this, you’d get child mAintenance, depending on custody arrangements.

Plus check what benefits you’re entitled to.

I'm about to get a promotion to the tune of £5k-7k extra in the next year. God this is so complicated without involving all the emotions and DC. Jesus.

You may be able to get a mesher order to stay in the house for a number of course. As well as your earned income you should get CMS from ex and perhaps UC towards childcare costs etc.

You need some legal advice OP tailored to your particular situation. It could be as there has been DV you could get legal aid.

Are you and the children safe at the moment

Ok so if it’s worth 270 and the mortgage is 80, then the equity is 190. Of which as a min you would be entitled to 95 grand.

Then half the savings. Say another five.

Then whatever is in the pension. So you’d walk away with at least 100k if not more.

Then with your wage you could possibly borrow say up to 75 k, so you can buy another house.

Then take into account child maintenance and benefits.

You’ll be fine, 💐

Sorry just seen the pay rise, you’d be able to likely borrow up to 100k.

Honestly. Leave the piece of shit and get going on yout own. Financially you will be fine.

Thanks so much all. I'm so glad there are knowledgeable people to call on when I'm a blubbering mess. I'm shut in the 'marital bedroom' DCs are luckily asleep. I've no idea how to approach tomorrow. Meant to be in work half the day. I'm so lost. It would be a pissing bank holiday too. Fuck.

has he literally just hit your OP as in right this moment. If so and you feel in danger I would call the police.

Has he hit you before op? Are you safe?

Mesher orders are very rare and the OP would still be required to pay the mortgage which doesn't sound like she can

How long did you have out of the workplace to have children? And how long were you married? Less than 10 years out of the workplace then don't expect a much higher proportion of assets/pensions - 10 years out of a potential working life of 50 years is nothing and you've got plenty of time to build up your own pension

I would call police

Get this all recorded

He sounds like my ex a dangerous man who will only get worse

Is there any way to get him removed ?
You poor thing

Been through this few years ago with a small baby in my arms
So sorry

@Bluntness100 thank you so much. I have some hope. @Quartz2208 no he "just" raised his hand and called me a piece of shit. I've been on mn long enough to know this is not on. Hence being here.

I only had mat leave (nhs) x 2 so never actually left work.

I’m so sorry OP.
I hope you are safe. Look up womens aid online for advice, and you could make an appointment with the Citizens Advice Bureau on Tuesday and someone there will be able to talk you through your rights.