[quote Graphista]@BloodyMiserable biochemically the rose tinted glasses are in place for the 1st 12-18 months and only gradually wear off from that point.
It's why I always advise on here it's best not to move in, get pregnant, get married until you've been together at least 3 years and a number of studies bear this out, that couples who are together a minimum of 3 years before marrying are more likely to stay together.
Marrying etc before you know their bad habits and annoying quirks and whether they're liveable with is not a good idea.
And even then when you first live together it's an adjustment, it's why they USED to say the 1st year of marriage is the hardest. I remember my grans both saying they felt like murdering my grandads at points in the 1st year (I'm sure my grandads has similar tales but one had passed by the time of this conversation and was much missed despite his annoying habits, the other was always a man of few words and not given to talking about "personal" things).
Most of my ex's habits were annoying but tolerable and nobody's perfect and I had things that annoyed him too, I know I can be hard to live with at times but I drew the line at being cheated on!
Also agree that life experience changes how you view things AND what you'll tolerate. I'm far less tolerant now than I was in my early 20's when I married.
@torquewench A shame you had to learn the hard way. It's why the "thong 'uns" on site should listen to us older and wiser ones. Not wiser because we're "better than them" but because we've been through shit!
Something I have to remind my now adult dd of on occasion when she's ignoring my sensible advice 
There are occasionally threads on here listing the warning signs, red flags etc.
Personally I think there's a lot of work to be done in educating youngsters as to the warning signs of abuse especially. Tempting to write "girls" as it's generally boys/men that tend tot the abusive patterns but it can be girls/women too, plus I'm thinking it's also good for the boys to know we see them and their abusive behaviour! And MAYBE such education would teach them NOT to do this shit? I know, yet another thing for schools etc etc but of course we can't rely on parents here as more often than not that's where abusers and victims learn to BE abusers and victims FROM.
Maybe an easier/better way is to teach them "this is what a good healthy relationship looks like" ?
Mine isn't chubby but he's no oil painting either, he looks...ill! Being with him has somehow buggered her looks too, someone sent me a pic of her now (long story don't ask!) and didn't tell me who it was a pic of! I didn't recognise her! She's still slim but it actually looks gaunt on her now though, she's almost completely grey and doesn't dye (her choice but she's not even 35!) she looks old, tired and worn out!
Now they have 5 dc which may well be part of it, but as the person who sent the pic said he did the clichéd leaving me for a younger woman and she now looks older than me!
Funnily enough me gaining weight was an issue for him and he'd make digs, which I ignored. I hear she takes such digs to heart, she IS slim but OBVIOUSLY after 5 dc she's gained SOME weight and her body has changed that's normal. This apparently doesn't stop him from making the digs!
Also me being fat didn't stop him from chasing after me just before THEIR wedding. He even complimented certain things that were due to the weight gain.
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I had a red flag conversation with my 18 yr old dd not that long ago. She was talking about some fella who is the man about town and she said that he said to her that both his exes are psycho. So this was a perfect time for me to open up the topic for conversation. After I spoke a bit she said, but mum maybe they are just psycho. So we carried on the topic a bit more. She completely believed him, but then she is only 18. I clearly was exactly the same as met my ex at 17 and probably believed everything he told me too. I'm glad it came up so that I could use that opportunity to hopefully make her aware of some things
My ex looks dreadful too now. I thought it was just me that thought so until someone else mentioned it too. And his now fiance, yes the ow who he stayed with, doesn't look all that grand either. They both look quite haggered imo. Apparently she has a bit of a hard time with her ex. I'd love to feel sorry for her, but meh, nah. She was married too when she and my ex started their affair......
What goes around.....
(I know for a fact that she propositioned another man not that long ago, he was here on a business trip and she turned up at the door of his hotel room....... Whilst engaged to my ex. I often wonder if the pair of them lay in bed at night wondering who is going to cheat on who first)