Unreasonable behaviour examples for divorce

[takeabrolly]

I'm unsure about filling for divorce now under UB grounds or just waiting for 2 years. I have years worth of UB to draw on but I'm worried that as stand alone examples they don't look unreasonable enough. Solicitor said I'd have to give 3 examples (the most recent, the worst and an early one). My marriage was like death by 1000 cuts rather than "big" events that led to separation.

Can anyone give me examples of what they cited as UB?

Mine were fairly mundane -

1. He criticised my mother and bad mouthed her to his family, causing me upset.

1. He failed to contribute to the running of the household and left all childcare, cleaning, shopping etc to me despite me working full time and working more hours than he did.

1. He was financially irresponsible and fell into debt, leaving me to sort out bills and finances.

Think those were the main ones. Hope this helps.

We don't spend time together, and do not wish to do so.
We never say we love each other.
We no longer have a sex life, and do not want to resume that.

Mine included:

-Drug use (this was the only reason I needed)

But also

• lack of financial support
• lack of emotional support

Essentially he was neglectful towards our marriage and the upkeep of our house and bringing up the kids. There was no love in the marriage

Even if there has been really seriously unreasonable behaviour, you usually just keep it bland as people above have said.

I had similar stated reasons to posters above, even though the real reason was that ex was abusive.

Doesn't contribute financially, no sex life and no desire to resume, no social life and no desire to socialize together. Stuff like that.

The actual reason for divorce is 'irretrievable breakdown of marriage'. Citing UB is the most common way.

As PPs say keep it bland then it is less likely to be countered by your STBX. This speeds up the process and saves money.

My ex actually divorced me despite me leaving due to his abuse. He had to have the last word!

One of his reasons amuses me still ' left the house in a chaotic manner' I had 3 children under 7 - it wasn't going to be ordered!

Thanks everyone for those examples. I was thinking I'd need examples of "he did this then he said this..." but it looks like more general stuff is the way to go. That's helped a lot thanks

I had one example and it went through fine, recently too, via the online gov thing, don’t know where this three reasons thing comes from.

Husband plays computer games too much to the detriment of the marriage,

Trinity the solicitor suggested I'd need to write 3 examples, maybe that's just a suggestion not a requirement?

Sorry, I know this is not what you're getting at but here are my three reasons if I ever decide I've had enough:

I sleep in the spare room because DH wants the dogs to sleep on our bed

No sex for ten years

Everything I cook is just 'OK', I'm expected to find all his dishes 'supberb'

His work/hours were not conducive to family life.

Did not wish to have more children.

Habitual lying has resulted in an irretrievable breakdown of trust.

Exchange of inappropriate images/texts.

Such a barrel of laughs!!

My ex put that I didn't make him a cup of tea when he got home from work.... yep that is actually on the divorce petition 😂😂

Amylou - I imagine the divorce was granted so that YOU could get out!😂

@amylou8

My ex put that I didn't make him a cup of tea when he got home from work.... yep that is actually on the divorce petition 😂😂

That is hilarious!

There’s 3 boxes to fill in, and you can add more if you want. I just did the three, with general reasons as above, drinking as a way of dealing with stress which led to arguments, always wanting the house to be very clean and tidy, kids toys had to be kept in bedrooms, no big outside toys allowed and always wanting to move house as he was never satisfied with where we lived. Seems to have gone through ok, two weeks ago.

@Meandyouandyouandme - how long did it take from submitting petition to acknowledgement of service being received?

@thestorm I did the online application on 12th July, my H has received a letter today regarding the next part of the process.

I recently found my divorce papers from 1979. My husband divorced me for UB and the first reason was I didn't cook him meals so he had to feed himself and eat alone. Second was I didn't wash his clothes. 🤣😱

@amylou8
Were we married to the same man?

I had one example. I did the paperwork myself. I had no issues.

@amylou8 @Villanemme

He sure got around! I think I was married to him too!

Included on my ex's petition was ' often doesn't wait up for me'. He work till 3am and we had small children!
' doesn't cook /iron my clothes'. All again expected at weird hours due to his work.

Mine was that he cheated and stole all the money from our joint account, and had acquired 12k of debt in my name as a surprise. Also the emotional and physical abuse, funnily enough my solicitor said the courts would have been unreasonable to reject it

I couldn't file under adultery as he didn't admit to it and no physical proof

I had;

1. Lack of intimacy. Separate beds for over a year
2. Financially irresponsible. Couldn’t hold down a job and kept getting in dept.

I heard of one on here years ago that was something like "persistent cooking of odourous fish" :o

Can I ask anyone who has divorced on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour how much there divorce costs were and who paid court costs? My ex divorced me but I have been ordered to pay costs of £1750 on my exes behalf and I also have to pay my own costs.

@Yellowshirt... I think the costs depend a lot on how its done
My exH had an affair, but buggered off and left me to sort the divorce out.
No kids, house etc so all I paid (I say all still pissed off) was £550 direct to courts.
I didn't get a solicitor involved so it was just via .Gov website.
I did put on the papers that I wanted exH to pay the costs (he agreed on his response) but court screwed it up and didn't put it through).