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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

How much will dh’s earnings be taken into account?

44 replies

ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 05/07/2020 15:17

Dh are separating. I work part time earning 20k (I’m obviously willing to work full time) and he earns 80k. We both have pensions.

His solicitor has says that I would be looking at getting 10k more of the equity in our house to compensate for his high earnings. I haven’t had any advice yet but will be doing.

I was just wondering roughly what I can expect.

OP posts:
DoneOver · 05/07/2020 15:26

MY ex earnt way more than me and had way more pension and his own solicitor said we should split everything 50/50...which suited me, I probably could have gone for more but I figured keepig things nice woud help long term. I got a chunk of his pension, half savings, half house (we sold it) and I also got spousal as well as child maintenance due to the income disparity. I had been the stay at home parent while his career blossomed so I felt it was all fair enough.

Original poster
ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 05/07/2020 15:32

Thank you. He is proposing that the only thing ‘extra’ I will get is the 10k in equity (there’s about £150k in total). He would like the children 50/50 so no child maintenance but has says he’ll continue to pay for their after school clubs (3 children).

OP posts:
DoneOver · 05/07/2020 15:51

You need advice. Firstly, we share the kids 4:3 so almost 50/50 but he still pays me a goodly amount of CM. Put your figures in here and see what it says: www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance. My ex was initially rather hostile about me getting some of 'his' savings and pension...but his solicitor put him straight. She was fab. The disparity in our income was maybe a little larger than yours but not that dissimilar. How long had you been together? If it wasnt that long then that may sway things a bit.

Earlgrey19 · 05/07/2020 15:52

Wow that doesn’t sound right OP!

DoneOver · 05/07/2020 15:53

Actually given you have children together you can probably ignore that last bit...in whcih case 50/50 is the way solicitors go, unless someone is up for a fight. I do know a couple who have spent 80K between them on solicitor fees trying to do each other over

howsicklyarsekissy · 05/07/2020 15:58

Defo get advice should be 60/40 with that earning difference it's what all my friends got.

howsicklyarsekissy · 05/07/2020 15:58

Sorry should read, all
My friends received!

RandomMess · 05/07/2020 16:01

You need your own solicitor that is looking out for your interests!

Your earning potential and pension will have taken a hit whilst you took the part time hit and helped enable his career. He can get a much larger mortgage than you and the settlement looks at need! The need for both parents to house the DC.

oldfatandtired1 · 05/07/2020 16:21

Yes, it’s a ‘needs based’ case. As above, he can afford a big mortgage on 80k, you can’t so need much more house equity. For what it’s worth I got 90% equity and a hefty pension share when I divorced aged 55. He earned circa 100k, I was on 27k. Youngest child was 18 so didn’t count. We were married 20+ years.

See a good family law solicitor!

CuppaZa · 05/07/2020 16:22

Get yourself a solicitor OP. Ex DH solicitor works for him, and only him, looking after his best interests. That’s what solicitor is paid for. You need your own. Good luck

Misty9 · 05/07/2020 16:31

That's similar figures to our situation re earnings, although we had 220k equity. We split house 60 40 to me, share kids 50 50 so no cm, he pays spousal to me for 2yrs, pensions were valued equally so left those alone, I got the car and left his business account alone. All done amicably without courts although we're yet to actually divorce as we're waiting for the 2yr point.

What percentage split does 10k extra equity work out to? You both need to get pension valuations. Will he agree to spousal for a limited time? Get advice yourself, one off isn't too expensive and that's all we did.

AuntyPasta · 05/07/2020 16:34

You need more of the equity and spousal maintenance for a few years.

Original poster
ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 05/07/2020 16:36

Thanks all. We were together for 23 years and married for 16.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 05/07/2020 17:40

I think he is taking the piss!! After 23 years and how long working part time facilitating him climbing the career ladder whilst you being up 3 DC...

I don't believe he is being honest with you at all, sorry Sad

DoneOver · 05/07/2020 18:13

You should be fine from what you say, he's just chancing his arm by offering you 10k! Bloody ridiculous! The 50/50 childcare thing - be careful that hes not just suggesting that to avoid child maintenance. Keep careful records. And if it turns out a year down the line that he isn't doing his 50% then I believe you can go back to the court and ask for a CM review. Also, even if it is 50/50 in terms of nights spent at houses,the settlement should still take into account how much each party does in general over all ie. he cant expect you to care for children during the day in holidays but then have them at night whilst claiming he does 50%.

Love51 · 05/07/2020 18:19

Has he previously been caring 50:50 for the children? Would status quo be more in their interests? Also, his solicitor's job is to protect his interests. You need your own to represent yours.

Isthisfinallyit · 05/07/2020 18:21

Never listen to him or his soliciter. They are not interesred in you being treated fairly.

SeasonFinale · 05/07/2020 18:23

A 60/40 split would be £90k to you and £60k to him which would be a more likely division bearing in mind the length of the marriage. What are your respective pensions and other assets valued at too. It sounds like he is pretending to be generous while stitching you up!

Whyislifesohardsometimes · 05/07/2020 18:44

Definitely see a solicitor, I've recently divorced, have 2DC under 16, he earned 20k more than me, we had a 70/30 split, he only sees DC every other weekend. Do not listen to anything he or his solicitor says. Good luck

MooseBeTimeForSummer · 05/07/2020 18:55

Look at your housing need. Can you get a mortgage? What would you need to buy somewhere sensible. If you can only get a small mortgage you’d need more of the equity.

Nosuchluck · 05/07/2020 20:23

I think a big issue here is pensions, you really need to see a solicitor and get all assets valued.

TheKickInside · 05/07/2020 20:34

This 50:50 thing with the DC, how exactly would it work?

Does it mean he could still work and earn exactly what he does?
In which case, is it a pattern that would allow you to find a better paid job? Or would it still be a situation where his work is prioritised, and you get to fit around it and pick up the slack?

I think it's pretty unusual for both parents to be able to work as much as they need to, whilst each doing 50% of the childcare. IME it's normally one parent who bears the brunt, even after separation, and is expected to be 'flexible' and available at short notice, take all the sick days, etc.

AuntyPasta · 06/07/2020 18:56

Grin Just saw you’ve been married for 16 years. His solicitor is trying it on.

HollowTalk · 06/07/2020 19:01

It's not his solicitor you need to be talking to. And are you happy with 50:50? It sounds as though his reasons for wanting that are purely financial.

HollowTalk · 06/07/2020 19:22

Has he played a full and active part in the children's lives? Does he intend to have the children in childcare at times when you could be with them?