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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Learnt to cut the grass!!! What's your equivalent?

62 replies

PicaK · 06/05/2020 10:44

I know, it's such a small thing really but yesterday I felt like I'd climbed a mountain.
The grass had been growing and growing. He kept offering to cut it for me but then didn't for 1 genuine reason or another.
We'd got so divided in our roles/ responsibilities - it was something I'd not done before. (I did do all the life/finance admin and I know he's been slowly getting used to that too.)
Just got that feeling its going to be OK on my own for the first time.
When did that happen for others and were they big things or small things (like mine) that prompted it?

OP posts:
HeartS0ul20 · 12/05/2020 11:26

I've used the electric wood chopper. It's ok until it gets stuck on a knot or a bit of wood which is too big. Easy for small pieces of wood

Much easier than hand chopping wood Grin

ComfyOldPants · 12/05/2020 11:50

I have cut the grass! Got told I was ‘finally being a proper adult’ by doing it, by an H who has never cut it. When mentioned he said ‘it’s not my grass’! Hmm

Also bought a pressure washer and done the decking, ready for the new stain, and will get the driveway done next week once the weeds are gone Smile

queenjaneappro · 12/05/2020 23:43

I tried to fit a toilet seat today but couldn't get the old one off 🙈. Have ordered pliers from Amazon to have another go. In the last couple of months I have fixed the pressure on the boiler and unblocked the drains!!

queenjaneappro · 14/05/2020 23:08

Didn't mean to kill the thread 🙈
Anyway, finally got the toilet seat fitted today - had to watch a you tube video as I got confused but it's now done ✅

Sparrowlegs248 · 14/05/2020 23:14

I changed the toilet seat too. And yes to mowing the lawn. Putting oil and water in the car. Taking it to get an exhaust replaced (instead of Ex h making a week long job of it)

Yellowcakestand · 14/05/2020 23:22

I learned to wallpaper

justtb · 14/05/2020 23:27

Emptying the spare room of all the rubbish that should've been taken to the tip for the past 10 months.. was so satisfying!

Livandme · 17/05/2020 20:08

I was cutting down trees before we separated whilst he was sat in the house on his phone and I had a lightbulb moment of. Wtaf.
What kind of decent person would think this is OK for someone to be up a ladder on their own cutting trees?
Never mind the fact he was my husband

He actually did very little "man" jobs except electrics and that's cos his dad was a sparky.
I've got lots to do but will manage just fine.
Good luck all

megrichardson · 17/05/2020 20:13

YY to mowing the grass. And I went up in the loft today and put some things into storage. I felt very brave and empowered!

Mommabear6cubs · 18/05/2020 00:39

I cut the grass and used the strimmer to tidy up the garden for the kids and today I bought and fit a new toilet seat 💪🏼 I didn’t realise how complicated it was to do 😂

JoyceTempleSavage · 20/05/2020 05:31

I dread changing the bed now as it's super king size and I struggle with lifting the corners of the heavy mattress to get the fitted sheet on and don't even go there with the quilt cover

@Grandadwasthatyou I too have a super king and here are my suggestions. Firstly, can you get a flat sheet to go under the duvet cover? This will mean you can change the sheet rather than having to change the duvet cover as often, which is much easier.

To lift the mattress to change the bottom sheet I lift with my hands, Then as soon as I can I get my knee under it and use my knee to prop up the corner whilst I’m tucking round the sheets. It’s much less heavy on my knee than it is on my arms.

pinkyboots1 · 20/05/2020 05:55

I learnt how to build a bonfire and get it going and how to set off fireworks ... I'd never been allowed to do those things before or bbq's etc (I can do that too) as it was 'not my place'!
He's damn lucky it wasn't his belongings on the bonfire!! 🤣

MarkingTimeIm59 · 23/05/2020 07:00

I found that YouTube is your friend for all sorts of practical tasks I’ve tackled for the first time.

Itsallchange · 28/05/2020 13:22

My greatest achievement so far was wallpapering my new bedroom! Never done it before, matching wallpaper and although not perfect the pattern match and its stayed on the wall! Every night I’m proud of what I’ve achieved so far! Let’s not even talk about sorting having the roof replaced 😂 my exh absolutely hates it !

Standstilling · 28/05/2020 13:36

So glad I’ve found you! Actually, I’m quite moved to read all your stories of taking back control, because I know just how you all feel.

I too have wallpapered my bedroom, drilled things, fixed stuff, conquered fears and watched a LOT of how-to YouTube videos.

XP was handy but lazy and selfish and messy, so this weekend I have finally tidied the garage and it looks and feels great.

Am also glad to have somewhere to share my latest discovery - a trolley/sack barrow - I can lift ANYTHING now! Heavy plant pots, furniture, bags of compost. 💪🏻

But you have spurred me on to get the pictures back up in the hall.

amillionwishes · 28/05/2020 22:18

Built all the flat pack furniture (correctly, because I actually read the instructions)

Plumbed in my washing machine

Put up pictures etc, light fittings, fixed a leaking pipe on the kitchen sink, bled the radiators...

I could do all those things before but wasn't allowed to do them as he knew better than me 🙄

Colourmylife1 · 28/05/2020 22:23

Changing lightbulbs. To be fair I have high ceilings and ExH was very tall.

Walkingwounded · 29/05/2020 16:42

I love this thread. Thankyou op.

I did nothing around marital home because STBX told me I was useless at practical things.

So far, in new house alone, I have:

  • Bought electric saw & chopped up old wood in garden
  • Bought hedge trimmer & (wonkily) cut hedge
  • Put up velux blinds in DS room
  • filled in old garden pond
  • constructed swinging seat for garden.

Yet to tackle

  • cutting grass ( bought lawnmower but not unpacked it)
  • things involving a drill (nervous).

Get very stressed each time I try something new but haven’t failed yet! & the sense of empowerment is amazing.

Well done to us all 😅

Vintagevixen · 29/05/2020 16:55

Coming back onto this thread as I have successfully just put together my new hozelock hose reel, will be off to water the roses shortly!

Yes to not having done these things because ex told me I couldn't, clearly I could do them all along 😁 just wasn't allowed to compromise his manliness.

Walkingwounded · 31/05/2020 15:50

That's great! Congratulations.

I have bought new drill. One week of courage-building & should be ready to use it Grin

Wannabegreenfingers · 07/06/2020 07:14

Learnt to use the drill. I've always been handy and I always fircthe garden. Stbexh seethes inwardly as he likes to thing hes the big man- he's not.

His idea of DIY is to get someone else to do it. His excuse was, "My Dad used to make me help him and I've had my fill of weekends doing DIY" wtf!!

krkw · 07/06/2020 07:32

reupolstered my bed. I've bought all new tools and I've actually redone the whole house and today I'm putting up shelves. I'm actually enjoying it

dizzygirl1 · 07/06/2020 07:34

Husband moved out yesterday (we've been living together whilst sorting finances and then..... Lockdown!)
So whilst he was moving his furniture etc I built my own bedside cabinet. Something very basic but I did it!

Mintjulia · 07/06/2020 07:36

Adjusting v-brakes on ds’ bike Smile

Growingboys · 07/06/2020 07:40

Such a great thread! I'm not divorced but do all the 'man' jobs as H is useless.

Love seeing all you strong women 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻