Help pls - ex using kids for contact and control

[Meeeh]

My ex cannot leave me alone. He has kids every two weeks and half holidays. He constantly finds reasons to p contact me “about the kids” bit it’s generally either a) to tell me what I’ve done wrong or b) tell me how great he is.
I’ve told him repeatedly there is no need to talk unless it is urgent and he keeps doing it.
He is now also demanding more time with the kids as he has. I thing left to threaten me with. Says he’ll take me to court if I don’t go half and half. This would mean constant contact about bills and clubs etc. We have had a routine in place for over five years - surely he can’t just take me to court like that?!

Update: he is now taking it to court. The world is on fire and he somehow manages to turn all focus on himself

How old are DC’s?
Are they old enough to be listened to by the court?
I know you said your eldest is a teen, but will youngest have their voice heard?

Also, spread sheet of all costs for a month, including all clubs, petrol, food, outings, outfits, rent, electric, water the works.
He will then know exactly what 50:50 will cost him, he may back down after that.
If he still wants to go ahead, make sure that he can’t cancel clubs if he doesn’t want to pay the extra, DC only cancel if they no longer want to continue

@Meeeh

Update: he is now taking it to court. The world is on fire and he somehow manages to turn all focus on himself

Did you get a request to attend mediation?

Yes mediation meeting booked

What happens if he splits with new gf, who looks after DC then?

Update: it is now going to court. Effing waste of time and money.

Just block his messages and emails, keep the inappropriate messages as evidence for court, you will want to say the children are settled into a routine, he works shifts, and this is about control and money.

Point out any correspondence he has sent you regarding bills, budget demands, inappropriate meddling in your life.

Did the mediator give a view as to what court would do? If it's only every other weekend and half holiday presently won't get 50:50, esp if he is working odd shifts.

CAFCASS will likely want to speak to your children for their thoughts and preferences. Try not to guide them - it's better if they speak naturally.

I wouldn’t block his phone number. You want evidence of him being unreasonable. I would get a burner phone & tell him you new number. Then leave that phone somewhere you don’t need to check it so often.

Ignore ignore ignore - if he wants to go 50/50 then let him take you to court. Chances are he won’t - but if he does, you will want as much text/email based evidence that he is acting unreasonably.

You do not need to respond to him - I would just ignore things like the history homework message. The more you respond the more he will expect a response. Stop biting !

The children are surely old enough to have phones, so a weekly update email is unnecessary - if they were younger might say that it sounds nice in theory. But it sounds like he would just write back it it & expect a reply.

Are any or one of your children 13 or over?