How long did your divorce take?

[coreyp]

From day of separation until Decree Nisi (spelling?).
I'm guessing 2 yrs is about average. Friend managed it in 4-5 months, though.

6.5 years and counting, but I'm hoping to get the nisi in the next few weeks. He didn't play ball. I could have divorced after 2 years but he has to play ball in order to get a financial settlement. Court would be messy and expensive. The only reason it's happening now is that I've given up- I'm walking away with nothing.

6 months to Nici, now waiting for consent order to be looked at by a judge so probably another 3-4 months. He argued about money for 3 months though so it could have been quicker.

divorcedtobe

You are living my dream.

Tell me more please. Anything.

How did you find out who he actually was?

Has he stuck about?

Are your kids like him?

Where did your post divorce strength come from?

I'm so weary right now. I love not living in his regime but can't seem to move on.

Wow. 6 weeks to 6.5 yrs. Eek.

Wow. I’m 18 months in and still trying to get husband to accept I want a divorce. 😱🙏🏽

Courts in England are taking a long time. I'm going down the unreasonable behaviour route because I want it done rather than wait 2 years. At the rate we are going it looks like 4-5 months from application to,decree nisi.

KnickerB
I’m so sorry. I hope you are managing emotionally and financially.

Ohio
I’m living the dream because I am no longer married to an alcoholic cheating bat shit crazy arsehole. I love love the peace of a quiet bed at night. Not the constant anxiety caused by constant drama. Whether it takes two months or 6 years that is the joy of divorce. Yes you grieve the life you had. And you may come out if it ok or skint but you are alive and breathing and therefore there is always a future. At times I was really low suicidal even but what got me through was a group of mums who lived locally who looked after me and took my kids for the day when I couldn’t cope with being bubbly mum. Get help. This is not something you can do alone. The first women that came to my rescue were right here on mumsnet. The second two were in America and I met them on a website called chumplady.

If you are dealing with an arsehole:
Get a solicitor who understands arseholes who are narcissists
Be prepared to pick your battles and let go of ideal outcomes- ok to good enough is fine
Put your kids first but don’t bad mouth the other parent. Be age appropriate honest.
If all else fails, your sanity, freedom and the welfare of you and your children is THE most important thing.
Everyday tell yourself that ‘This too shall pass’.
If you can manage it try yoga. 😬

Separation to absolute - just under 4 years . . .

Separated May 2010, Decree nisi October 2010, Decree absolute January 2011. Straightforward divorce, I admitted adultery, could have divorced him for his behaviour but it could have taken a lot longer, I wanted rid of him so let him divorce me.

Separated in Feb applied for divorce in April could have had absolute in October but having to wait for consent order which takes around 4 months so expecting it to be finished by end jan/Feb time it all accepted by judge

Filed in January. Nisi July. Financial order still being sorted so still waiting. All straight forward but STBEXH is slow at dealing with anything (and being deliberately so I suspect) which has added a 5 week delay as my solicitor never got the form he sent back and he didn't bother to chase up. I'm now waiting for him to send another copy back, but he also wants some wording amended which is going to add more time.

@divorcedtobe I feel you. Divorcing a narcissist too... Its soo miserable. Its already been 10 months that I have filed divorce. I'm still living wd him under the same roof as we have a joint ownership of the house. I see my 5 year old turning against me. It's really depressing.

Began process one July, decree absolute by the following early March. Mostly due to a slow court and XH's absurd flip-flopping. I'd have liked to get him on adultery but we went with unreasonable behaviour. Hashed out finances ourselves and then had a court stamp it. No kids.

Filed in December, nisi came in April (on our tenth wedding anniversary, lol), absolute however long it's supposed to take after that - I can't remember.

No finances to split though

7 months to the day

2 years and 7 months. Also divorced a narc. It was hideously high conflict as he was enraged I was daring to divorce him.

Separated in May divorced December..best Christmas ever.

Filed March. Still waiting...

Left in October, Filed in December, decree absolute through in July.

My first divorce was over in 9 months from filing to absolute and I thought that was bad enough.

This one, we agreed to wait the 2 years, then STBXH has dragged his heels since July last year. So many bloody excuses as to why he couldn't do the financial stuff

Still waiting on the nisi. Still waiting for the financial order to be done. So 18 months from separation so far.

Tbh, if I'd known he was going to fuck about like this I'd have gone straight down the Unreasonable Behaviour route at the start.

Almost 3 years since the 2 year separation bit passed. He's not playing ball. Seems to think I'm happy to resubmit discovery info every six months.
He's so bloody passive and non-commital. Refuses to do DIY because he doesn't want to print the papers at work.
Gah.

My lawyer chased the paperwork at the courts and it looks like it will be taking six months for the submission of paperwork for the nisi to granting it.

submitted paperwork november 2018, nisi august 2019.....now going through hell with custody and finances in court so God alone knows when i can file for the absolute :(

@divorcedtobe why is it taking so long? Can u please provide details of what he is doing to prolong it. Its just so that I can be prepared. I'm sure he will pull it as much as he can. 25-40k lawyer expenses will be cheaper than paying me a few hundred thousands. I'm sure he will think this way. To test my patience. To beg him to let me free n settle for less. Please help. How r u keeping ur sanity?

Less than5months