Custody arrangement that allows maximum contact for both parents?

[NancyIris]

DH and I are in process of splitting up and working out custody. Currently he is in family home with kids full time and I still sleep over 3 nights per week (sofa bed) and when not sleeping over arrive at breakfast time in the morning. I pick kids up from school every day, bring them back to family home, clean, cook their tea and stay till after bedtime on nights when not sleeping over.

This has ensured maximum continuity for kids but has now become toxic as exDH and I see far too much of each other. I also have a new partner which of course makes things more difficult for DH.

We have had 2 Mediation sessions and are not able to reach agreement on custody etc. DH feels he should keep the house, again for continuity, but can’t afford to buy me out. He is offering me about 40% of my equity to buy somewhere. I earn less due to career choices around being available for school run etc.

I can see logic in keeping kids in family home but can’t see how it would work practically.

We both want to see them every day but I know that’s not realistic. Is there an arrangement which allows us to see as much of them as possible but doesn’t involve them shuttling constantly between houses?

DH is a teacher so could do more in school holidays ... I can do school run every day in term time.

[Emeralda]

Morning OP, hope you're doing ok, I can only imagine that weekends are difficult. Just a thought - can you pay some of the bills directly instead of paying him? Now that you're back in the home, I see no reason to be paying him monthly but if you do, I would be changing the standing order name to "mortgage contribution" so it shows up on statements. There are lots of people in the same position as you so maybe it's worth posting on Divorce/Separation about how others organise it. How are the DC?

[drspouse]

Spam reported, but wondering how the OP is getting on.