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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Anyone else alone on NYE?

29 replies

BeauMirchoff · 31/12/2017 15:48

Just really need someone to hold my hand tonight. He announced a few days ago he was leaving me. Our relationship has been shit and we don't get along (his words) because I've been nagging him to lay off the playstation and spend more time with me and the kids. Or help around the house. Tonight he is going out, just like that. It's not like he's just ended a relationship and broken my heart. It's just so cruel. We have 2 DC so obviously I won't be going anywhere. Not that I want to. I'll be sat on the sofa on my own, crying my eyes out.
Just please hold my hand and tell me it will get better and I won't feel like this forever! Sad

OP posts:
Smeaton · 31/12/2017 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovetolurk · 31/12/2017 15:55

I sm sorry Beau Flowers

He’s a twat for the timing alone. Do you have any friends you can call? I’m sure they would like to support you.

And yes you will feel better and will look back on this next nye from a much better place

BeauMirchoff · 31/12/2017 16:16

Thank you for your kind words!
I'm currently sat in the kitchen, greasy hair, puffy eyes, having something to drink because I haven't been able to eat properly for days.
I wanted to leave him. A while back. I wanted to leave him because he just dedicated so much time to his phone and playstation and then had his lie ins on weekends and was not interested in spending any QUALITY time with me or his kids. Sitting in the same room, on your phone is NOT spending quality time. I always saw dads with their kids in the park, playing with them, talking to them. And I was just so envious.
I could have left him. But now he is dumping me. And it feels fucking shit. Like it's all my fault cos I nagged so much!

OP posts:
Whatiwishfor · 31/12/2017 16:20

My husband announced just before last christmas that he was unsure about our relationship, he acted as if nothing was the matter over xmas and new year while i was totally unable to cope. I was depressed in bed while he was messaging other woman and dancing to the radio. It was utterly dreadful. He also said loads of negative stuff about our relationship, implying it had always been shit etc etc., we had a 2 and 3 year old atm.

One year on, lifes still difficult but im so so glad he left us, hes a total waste of space, i just wish i had noticed it earlier. I can honestly say life will get easier and it will be better than it was before,

Ilovetolurk · 31/12/2017 16:24

That's just his narrative Beau makes him feel better about himself

If you wanted to leave him earlier in the year you will still feel that way again soon, it's just the shock and the timing that are difficult now (Christmas/NYE when you are out of your normal routine). Do you work? How old are your DC?

BeauMirchoff · 31/12/2017 16:31

Yes, I do work. I'm off now but will be back at work next week. This is not how I wanted to spend my holiday Sad
Dc are 10 and 2.

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Ilovetolurk · 31/12/2017 16:59

No it's very crappy of him. I know it doesn't help much now but you will feel better next week in your normal routine. Similar happened to me a couple of years ago and it was the timing that was the worst because I was off sick at the time, if I had been working I would have coped much better.

I have just seen that there is a on your own on NYE on Lone parents, you could pop there for some support too Flowers

BeauMirchoff · 31/12/2017 17:06

Thank you so much. I just feel utterly broken. Not sure how I'll cope. And it's just killing me that he is going out tonight, knowing how much he's hurt me.
Thank you all for your kind words.

OP posts:
Jamboree05 · 31/12/2017 17:11

💐 for you OP.

Do you have a friend you can call tonight to come over?

For what it's worth, he's an arsehole.

BeauMirchoff · 31/12/2017 17:34

Thank you.
I don't really have anyone close by. I'm counting on mumsnet to get me through tonight. And the next few months. Sad
I just heard him on the phone, laughing, saying 'I'll see you in a bit'.
My stomach aches Sad

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Jamboree05 · 31/12/2017 18:19

He's not even worth your time @beau. He's a weak, nasty little man and frankly deserves a good kick! Can you up and take the DCs to family for a bit?

Racmactac · 31/12/2017 18:23

Oh I know exactly how you feel. I'm the one that's ended my relationship but he has carried on and doesn't seem to have missed a step. Meanwhile I am falling apart.

Sat here on my own with 2 dcs wondering how to get through the next few hours, days and weeks. My eyes are red raw from crying and I'm trying to hold it together in front of boys.

hollowtree · 31/12/2017 18:26

Like PP have said, it will get better than better.

Consider your hand held though Flowers you're not alone Smile

Mumteedumdumparupapumpum · 31/12/2017 18:27

Utter callous bastard. Lock the fucker out. You will heal. It will get better I promise. X

BeauMirchoff · 31/12/2017 18:28

@Jamboree05 I wish I could. My family live in another country.

@Racmactac I'm so sorry. Why did you end it?
He's just getting ready to go out. I want to die! Sad

OP posts:
Racmactac · 31/12/2017 18:29

It came down to choice between my boys or him and clearly the boys won.

BeauMirchoff · 31/12/2017 18:38

Thank you for holding my hand, you are all amazing.
@Racmactac I'm sending you a big hug. You're not alone. SadThanks

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Racmactac · 31/12/2017 18:39

If you want to talk shit all night pm me!

Moocow72 · 31/12/2017 19:13

So sorry for you Beau - he sounds a right tw@t (if you pardon my French). I was never a huge believer in karma but am beginning to warm to the idea - and if there is such a thing he will most definitely get a good dose of it!

I am on my own with youngest ds, eldest (16) is staying out tonight at his mates and I must admit I am so preoccupied at him being safe for his first NYE away from the house that it's been a distraction from my pathetic recently-failed marriage !

Hang in there, always around to chat if you want Flowers

BeauMirchoff · 31/12/2017 19:57

He's just gone out! I can't stop crying!!! 
@Racmactac can I pm from the app? I can't seem to find the option!

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BeauMirchoff · 31/12/2017 19:59

@Moocow72 gosh, I really hope karma exists. And I really really hope he wakes up one day, consumed by regret!!!
So what did you do to ruin your marriage? Nag too much? Hmm
ThanksThanksThanks

OP posts:
Racmactac · 31/12/2017 20:01

Have pm'd you

singme · 31/12/2017 20:06

My husband recently said similar. He's away this NYE although still texting me to chat all the time. Have managed to find something quiet to do with friends as didn't fancy a big night. Am just so jealous of all the people who have a significant other that would naturally want to be with them on NYE. But that just makes me more determined to move on. Feel so sad though Sad

singme · 31/12/2017 20:07

I hope you both have a nice night and get some rest. Liking all the stories from those a few years down the line who are in a better place.

KarmaStar · 31/12/2017 20:12

Hi Beau
I'm so sorry,please don't sit in your kitchen imagining him out laughing drinking etc ...push him to the back of your mind and think about your future with your two dc.
Life will get better,one day you will look back and be thankful that he is out of your life.he has been ignoring you and your littlest ones,destroying your confidence.
Do you need that?like hell you do.
Work out where you will live,set up a solicitors appointment,how you will manage child care.be strong.
He will be expecting a tearful mess asking him to stay....throw him a curveball and be polite,practical and cool with him.don't show him how hurt you are.don't give him the pleasure.
Many women have been in your position and come out of it stronger and so will you.
We are all with you,and waiting with buckets of freezing cold water for when he crawls home!!
Thinking of you Flowers

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