Rings - when to take them off?

[andanothernamechange]

Hi. I am newly separated but (so far)!amicably living in the same house with H and DD.

When is the best time to stop wearing my rings (wedding, engagement, eternity)?

I love my rings as prices of jewellery and ideally would not stop wearing them but as symbols of marriage and being married they are no longer true.

What have others done and have you worn them on other fingers?

I stopped wearing my rings about a year before H and I officially separated. In my head I knew it was over, and I just didn’t want to wear them anymore.

(We had to wait for various reasons to separate, and even now we’re still living in the same house)

I was just thinking the other day I might start wearing my engagement ring again. I really love it, it’s designed around a memory I have of my mum’s wedding ring, and I do now (after 18 months of not wearing it) feel sad at the thought of never wearing it again. I’ll probably see if it fits onto my right hand ring finger (won’t fit other fingers); I have a feeling it does. If not, I’d get it resized so it does.

My wedding ring I will happily never wear again (just a thin gold band) and I wasn’t/aren’t really that bothered about my eternity ring either (never really like the design). I’ll keep them for dds, obviously, but I’m ok about not wearing them.

I took mine off immediately we separated, which was amicable. When the divorce became final I gave them to my DDs.

I took them off when I told him I wanted a divorce in May. We also still live in same house and probably will be for a while. But same I don't feel right wearing them nor do I want to.

For those still living together and tips - what has worked and not worked?

I stayed living with exh for about 8 months after we separated as we were selling the family home. Split was amicable ish, driven by me.

I took my rings off after we had told the Dc, about 2 months after we separated.

I will give my wedding and engagement ring to my dd when she is older. I'm keeping my eternity ring as it was my fav and has special memories for me. I sometimes still wear it on my right hand even though I'm now remarried.

Symbols don't matter much to me (a skin/joint condition meant my rings haven't fitted since I was mid-20s so I wear none at all, and DH never did) - we have been happily married for decades, I've never even given a thought to 'not wearing my rings'.

So you see it's different for everyone. If you like them as jewellery, carry on wearing them. On any fingers you like!

(if you are hoping to meet another partner, though, I guess it might be off-putting if you have them on the trad. fingers? I'm not sure people even notice these days, but maybe they do.)

I separated in August and he moved out in October. We are in the process of divorcing. I took off my eternity ring straightaway but have been wearing my wedding and engagement ring as was not ready to face questions at work.

I have been telling a few people at work over the last few weeks and will take the rings off at new year and start afresh without them

I took mine off the moment he moved out and sold them at the pawn shop the following day. I treated myself to something nice.

I took mine off within a week of splitting up. I never wear them but the wedding ring belonged to a family member so has sentimental value and I have kept it.

Those that are separated but still living together- really want to hear from you! Are you sleeping in separate bedrooms? What have you told DC if you have any? How long have you been doing this? Do you have separate finances or still joint? Eat together etc? Would love to hear how you’re making it work as this is what I’m looking at for the next 18 months. Thanks in advance if you can spare the time.

Hubs and i arent wearing our wedding ring,but we are still together fooling ourselves, i stopped wearing our wedding ring when i caught him he isnt wearing it when he came to london to wrap up his msc,that time i was in my home country. It was shocking and painful for me. 2014 he sent me a ticket to visit him here I asked him when is going to wear the ring again,his answer was "when im applying jobs,it might help me get a job as married man is more responsible than single" i was like "ok then,so im gonna remove my ring too" he said "its up to you" from then on i never wore the ring,i went back to my home country and wrapped up my business there.Fast forward today,we are now back with eachothers arm since June of 2016, our daughter asked us why dont we have wedding ring,she asked her father where is his wedding ring he said "i kept it in a box" then she goes on to me to ask me where is my wedding ring "i told her, i kept it somewhere but i forgot where is it now" DH was like "seriously,you didnt know where you kept it?" And I said "yes, i am serious".

Nothing matter to me now,relationship is shit at its finest,what I am focusing now is my relationship with my daughter and to my self. Me and DH might be together but I am 100% sure im not into it anymore.

I took mine off on January 1, it seemed a good time. STBXH is moving out this weekend. I don't feel right without the ring, I have been wearing it for 7 years, but it feels wrong like I have forgotten something, in my head it feels fine. We are not on bad terms, we are just trying to move on, stay friends and be parents.

My ex asked for them back the minute I said I was leaving him, so I gave them back.. maybe I shouldn't have done this?!

Lived together after separation for 8 months. It was awful. My only advice is dont do it

singlemum32, do you miss the rings? For me they are just physical objects.

I miss having something on my finger... would have liked to have given them to my daughter..

I just had to put mine back on for a while, I must admit. It's taking a while to get used to not wearing it, this is the third time I have it on for a bit!

I don't like the idea of giving it to my DD, as the marriage ended in divorce, but I am keeping it for myself.

My DH never had a ring. He didn't ask for it back (and to be fair, I chose it and we jointly paid for it), I just said I am going to stop wearing it now (that was 6 months after we agreed to separate, and 2 months after telling DC). He was sad, but understood.

I might get myself another ring, for my right hand, as I don't wear any other rings.

I took my ring off the day I told exH that he needed to leave. I'd been wanting to take it off for quite some time before I got the courage but didn't dare.

Funny/not funny seeing this thread. I visited my cousin (more like a sister) a few months ago and noticed that she was wearing wedding rings again, I think hers and her mother's but I didn't ask. She's been divorced for 20 years. I didn't ask her but wondered if it was because she's happily single and doesn't want to date or if it's because we're 'of a certain age' and doesn't want to be an 'object of pity'.

My mum was widowed and after the first year she switched her rings to her right hand. I'd probably do that if I liked my rings as jewelry regardless of whether I was widowed or divorced.

I just tried my ring on my right hand ring finger - it doesn't fit!

I am thinking of wearing my ring in a necklace, as I do miss it. Also I might very well wear it if I ever need to look married for whatever reason ;)

That's not a bad idea, rhubarb. But I am sentimental about the ring, I don't actually regret marrying STBXH.

My ring came off as soon as I broke the news to my parents. Wishing everyone luck and happiness

So ring update! I took mine off on first day back to work in Jan. wedding ring has gone in the back of a drawer. Engagement and eternity ring are on my right hand cos I love the diamonds and jointly paid for them!

Was the right decision to just do it when it felt ready but also to push myself into doing it. STBXH is still wearing his.

👍🏼

It's a gesture about a 'new life', isn't it?