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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Financial settlement rejected,what now?

27 replies

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 15/11/2017 00:09

So my soon to be ex and I finally,after being messed about by solicitors,got together and agreed financially what we wanted to happen.All the forms had been filled but we spoke to our solicitors about our solution.
We thought we were just waiting for the decree absolute.
Today had a letter from my solicitor saying the judge had rejected our financial agreement.We are both gutted.
We want to go 50:50 on the proceeds of the sale of the martial home and then he keeps all other capital offset against my NHS pension ,we both accept that whilst in cash value terms my pension looks good once we start dividing it(and that with loss adjusters involved and the NHS fees will cost about £4000 which I do not have),it's value benefit neither of us.
We are 57 so time is against us.Why if we are agreed that this is better for us and our daughter can we not do as we wish,our solicitors agree.
So what now,we have already spent enough on solicitors.Of all the things we cannot remain married for money was not one of them!
This has already dragged on for a year and a half and I thought the end was in sight,I could repay borrowed money that enabled us to leave and move forward.

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Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 15/11/2017 00:14

Sorry,have been keeping it together all evening so my dd doesn't know but she has been an affectionate teen tonight so realises I am unhappy about something.Having a good old cry in my bed at.
I have to remind myself that it is my bed and has white sheets that stay white and fragrant.And I can sleep star shaped if I like.

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MrsBertBibby · 15/11/2017 07:03

What does the letter from the court actually say?

Usually the judge just wants to have something explained.

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Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 15/11/2017 09:16

Going to talk to solicitor today .

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wendywoopywoo222 · 15/11/2017 11:20

Ours was rejected and we had to go to see the Judge where we explained why we had come up with the solution which on paper looked one sided. He agreed it was sensible and wanted to make sure that the party who appeared to be losing out was agreeable and not being coerced.

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sparechange · 15/11/2017 11:31

Do you both have solicitors?
Judges are wary when one side has legal representation but the other party self represents

Can you ask to have a court hearing date to put the rationale to the judge in person?

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Secretsout · 15/11/2017 14:33

I Feel for you hothead this was my biggest anxiety earlier this year. I too had an NHS pension that was worth just under half of my exes (based on CETV not actuary). Lots of other stuff too but capital wise I walked away with a big chunk in favour of leaving his pension and shares alone

My sol advised me that if our consent order was rejected then both sols and ourselves could write to court saying we had taken considerable legal and financial advice and were happy with our agreement. Good luck

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Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 16/11/2017 00:35

A few things but the main one seems to be that we have to justify why he is taking capital against my pension,we just have to adjust some figures to make it blindingly obvious as she seems not to have read a page.My solicitor luckily could see me today and it 'should'be easily clarified..
We hold our breath.Thats a few hundred pounds more on my bill as exdhs solicitor has not told him!

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Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 16/11/2017 00:38

Feeling less stressed today,just really,really want this finally over.

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MrsBertBibby · 16/11/2017 07:47

Judges can be utter twits. We had one case where it took 3 goes to get one to see that if you had a house with 200K equity, and one party got the house and gave the other 100K, that was an equal split.

Honestly, we spent so much time trying to see if we had messed up the drafting, but no, the judge was just being utterly dense.

In the end, we slapped it back in just before her holiday, and someone else waved it through.

Sounds like this one will be sorted, but it is beyond infuriating when it costs a load more money, just because the judge isn't giving it the proper time and thought.

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JohPa · 16/11/2017 10:20

Sorry - changing the subject slightly, for those with an NHS pension how long did it take to get your CETV ? It's 6 weeks since I received acknowledgment of my request but I had sent it 2 weeks prior to that. Decree nisi being granted next week so I'm keen to sort finances out but obviously negotiations hinge on how much of the value of my pension I've got to give away.

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MrsBertBibby · 16/11/2017 10:27

It can take months. NHS and Teachers are the pits for delay.

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JohPa · 16/11/2017 12:08

The time frame they say to expect is 12 weeks, beginning to wish I'd paid the £400+ to get it in 6 weeks though there is still no guarantee of that. Even the letter that they send is horrible as they suggest that contacting them will cause further delay - as they put your application to the bottom of the pile presumably !!

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YouWhoNeverArrived · 16/11/2017 13:29

Mine took almost exactly 12 weeks, JohPa.

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WasDoingFine · 16/11/2017 17:16

My NHS pension took over 3 months. Stbxh RAF pension took 8 weeks but he had to pay for the privilege of getting it. His private one's 2 weeks

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WasDoingFine · 16/11/2017 17:20

I'm hoping our judge will agree ours as we have (hopefully) agreed a simular split.

Stbxh keeps £300,000 pension. £40,000 redundancy plus gets £26,000 lumpsum from me.

I get £200,000 house, £53,000 pension, £20,000 pension share from him. Plus my share of my mum's house

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Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 19/11/2017 13:38

Nhs pension can take months,I paid £400 to get it in 6weeks.
I was having a look at my NHS benefits site(can't remember proper name but all NHS workers now have one,ask HR if you're not sure how to get on it).It has a pensions link now and has the latest CTV on it,also how much you would get if you retired now etc.That would be useful to start negotiations until you get official letter.

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JohPa · 19/11/2017 14:57

I nearly paid the £400 then realised that they still don't guarantee the 6 week time frame. I've also looked at the figures available on the gateway which wasn't terribly helpful !

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WasDoingFine · 19/11/2017 17:52

I was told gateway is not to be used in a divorce settlement and the figures on mine were different to the CETV

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Onlyoldontheoutside · 16/02/2018 23:27

Finally there after his solicitors messed him about.I will now get a bill from mine for the exact agreement we put forward before.Decree absolute paperwork came today so it was official on Valentine's Day.
The house is finally on the market but has now been empty for almost a year.Becayse ex moved so far away I am left with the cleaning etc.When it sells I will be OK but until then I am still paying half the insurance,water rates,electricity( mostly standing charge and s bit of use for hoovering)and council tax.Having a decent few months until that kick in again
Am drinking prosecco and chilling and free.

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TryingToForgeAnewLife · 30/06/2018 06:31

@Hotheadwheresthecoldbath how are things? Did it get approval?

Mine was denied by the Judge too

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achoocashew · 02/07/2018 22:05

What was rejected? Did they say why?

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TryingToForgeAnewLife · 04/07/2018 03:42

The Judge wanted a more indepth explanation of the net effect of our financial split.

Apparently they couldn't understand how l now own the family home even though a covering letter was submitted which explained all of that.

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achoocashew · 04/07/2018 10:17

would you mind explaining the split and how it was worked out?
I am trying to figure out how it would go in my own circumstances

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TryingToForgeAnewLife · 04/07/2018 14:46

These are all rounded figures to make it easier.

House has £200,000 equity
Husband has £300,000 pension
Wife has £50,000 pension

So l took the house and offset it against his pension. So he's worth £300,000 and me £250,000.

But because he is entitled to capital for new home he wanted £26,000 Which I gave him. He gave me £20,000 of his pension.

I then had savings that were included BUT they were actually pre-marital savings so l didn't have to include them but l did.

He also has £40,000 in redundancy which he kept all of. The difficulty being that he spent it all in the two months between us separating and our Form E being completed. However mention of it has been made to the court.

I also part own my mum's house which is classed as a marital asset but husband agreed not to lay claim to it

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MycatsaPirate · 04/07/2018 14:51

I didn't know this could even happen!

When I divorced (no children) I asked my ex for a small lump sum (£3k), a couple of items of furniture and signed over everything else to him. My solicitor was horrified, said I was entitled to half the house, his pension etc but my reasoning was that when we got together he owned a flat and he sold that to pay for the deposit on our house. He needed the car for work, I didn't. His pension is his, he worked for it and I didn't think it was mine to take.

So we both went to our solicitors, told them what we were doing and it all went through. No one asked anything else?

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