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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Advice for getting my boy back ( not exs)

74 replies

romoca · 08/07/2016 09:11

My ex hubby ( not divorced yet) wants my son ( not his) to live with him. I know he only wants this too get at me.... He normally bully's the boy. I know he has no legal rights at all over him but when o go to get him do I need to take anything with me or paperwork etc??? Xx

OP posts:

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blinkowl · 09/07/2016 17:42

He is your son. You need to not tolerate this situation. Do not allow it to continue

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romoca · 09/07/2016 18:40

Thanks for all the replies, the abuse was
More emotional than physical but he done the same to my son, social services will be my next port of call as will be the citizens advice. As for picking him up from school I thought this but now ex he will have probably said to them not let me pick him up!!!
See he had told solicitors it was I who was abusive to him!!!!!!!! So absolutely hate to think what he has said!!! His biological dad has been absent from his life for around 5 years!
My ex and I were only a married a year!!!! He didn't adopt him ( thankfully!)

OP posts:

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MrsBertBibby · 09/07/2016 19:22

School cannot prevent you collecting, and should prevent him.

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Fourormore · 09/07/2016 19:27

Your ex can't tell the school anything if he doesn't have PR.
Speak to the school, tell them they are not to release your son to anyone except you. The school cannot legally release your son to your ex if he does not have PR.

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RadicalPessimist · 09/07/2016 19:36

Your ex doesn't have PR. Make sure the school know this. It's easily proved by bringing in his birth certificate. Therefore he HAS NO RIGHTS WHATSOEVER OVER YOUR CHILD. You need to speak urgently to whoever is in charge of safeguarding at your DSs school. Make it clear they are not to disclose anything about your child to ex allow him to collect.

This is a totally seperate issue to whatever your ex may have told the police. Whatever your ex says he has no rights over your child.

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RadicalPessimist · 09/07/2016 19:39

OR* allow him to collect.

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Highway61 · 09/07/2016 19:45

Go and get your son.

Call the cops to accompany if you are scared of violence. But don't leave him there . It's kidnap. The longer you leave it the harder it will be. Go get the boy NOW.

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ArmfulOfRoses · 09/07/2016 19:45

It doesn't matter if he's said anything or not.
He is your son and he is with an abusive man.

You really need to do something, be it gathering friends/family and going to his house or turning up at school Monday.

Get angry!

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Oly5 · 09/07/2016 19:51

You don't need an expensive solicitor. It's the police who can sort this out for you.
Go back to the police, say your ex has no parental rights over him. Collect your son from
School, if ex turns up then call 999

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RadicalPessimist · 09/07/2016 20:23

Just to reiterate you don't need to see a solicitor or the CAB. Your ex has no rights here but he's done such a number on you, you're beginning to think he has. The longer you leave your son in his care, the more difficult this will be to sort out.

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bloodyteenagers · 09/07/2016 20:35

So exactly what have you done since yesterday morning aside from talking to the police?
How long has your son been there because it sounds a lot longer than a day if you have had a letter from his solicitors..
Why has he involved a solicitor?

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Just5minswithDacre · 09/07/2016 20:46

My ex and I were only a married a year!!!! He didn't adopt him ( thankfully!)

And he didn't acquire PR either?

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Lookatyourwatchnow · 10/07/2016 08:54

Why are you not doing more about this? Get your son.

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Handsoffmysweets · 10/07/2016 09:00

For goodness sake woman, go and get your son! Just reading this is frustrating! Call the police again today, meet them at ex H house and take your son back. This man has no PR over your son. He cannot tell the school to prevent you picking him up - if anything you can do that and advise school that he is not to go anywhere near your son. You're his mother, his legal guardian and the one who holds all the cards. You need to remember that. Go and see the headteacher tomorrow and explain to him/her what's happening. Call SS now and advise them your son is at risk. You need to do more!

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Tiggeryoubastard · 10/07/2016 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

blinkowl · 10/07/2016 10:12

He can sat what he likes to the school. If he does not have PR his words are meaningless. Go talk to the school on Monday, tell then he is not allowed to pick your son up.

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BerriesandLeaves · 10/07/2016 11:01

I think it's better to sort it today. Better for your son than there being a big scene/argument/police called in front of his mates/teachers/mates' parents on the school playground tomorrow.

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GrimmauldPlace · 10/07/2016 11:06

Did you actually explain to the police that your ex does not have PR of your DS? Did you ask the police to get your DS or to just make sure he was OK? I don't understand why you left him behind?

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Handsoffmysweets · 10/07/2016 14:53

OP I'm confused as you've said on a previous thread that you have a child with your ex, a child with your husband (who I'm presuming is this man) and one on the way. So does this man have a biological child with you?

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BerriesandLeaves · 10/07/2016 15:27

I assume the 22 month old is husband's bio child.

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SandyY2K · 11/07/2016 01:37

I don't understand how a man with no legal parental rights can stop you having your son. Can you get to the school in the morning at drop off time and speak to your son, that he isn't to leave with your Ex.

Or go to school before school ends and get out of class and take him home.

As long as there is no evidence of your son being at risk with you, the school surely can't stop you.

I'm totally perplexed by this.

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ArmfulOfRoses · 11/07/2016 16:27

Did you go and get him?

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TealLove · 11/07/2016 16:37

What on earth?

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romoca · 20/07/2016 09:07

Just an update, alas it was not as easy as going to just get him. I went up there with his biological father and my father for support and the police threatened to arrest us!!!!!!! It turns out mil has told lots of lies saying I'm mentally unstable/want to kill myself...... None of which is true!!!! I've been to social services, police, woman's aid spoken to midwife/gp. Tomorrow I am seeing a solicitor. Although I can't really afford it it's gonna break the bank but I'm not eligible for legal aid.

OP posts:

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Tiggeryoubastard · 20/07/2016 10:05

So you left a child with someone that you allege bullies him? You're making half hearted efforts to get him back (or not)? The police are backing the person the child is with? Who allegedly has no right to keep him? There's so much more to this story you're not telling. Poor child.