Is she having an affair

[upsetdad]

I do not want to make anyone else re live their own misery, but I have noticed certain things about my Wife that I think suggest that there is someone else in her life, and rather than list them all, I hoped maybe someone could tell mw what they think "the signs" are - I'm actually pretty certain there is someone else, and the question is not even "how long has it been going on" but "what do I do".

She obviously doesn't want to leave, I do not want her to leave, so how do I pretend it isn not happening?

Namechange, obviously.

I would definitely want to feel that my husband wanted to fight for me. If I was doing what you suspect your wide of doing, then just watching you sit and take it would certainly reduce any respect I had for him. Unpleasant as it sounds, you do need to talk to her (it needn't be confrontational...)

(sorry, your WIFE...)

Yes I agree if you say nothing then expect the worst tbh

Re: op
New underwear/clothes
has haircut
more makeup
works longer hours/is out of home more
dreamy
mobile obsessed
no lnger interested in sex
Has changed how she is with you

What are you going to do?

She may not have decided not to leave, she may be just biding her time...... if you want to keep her you need to stop being so passive!

And maybe she is not actually having an affair.... she could be responding to some attention she is getting, or just feeling better about herself in general (I have no idea what the background is to all of this....). Don't you want to know? How do you think that keeping your head in the sand will help you or your relationship with your wife (this isn't meant to be an arsey question, I'm geuninely interested....).

(genuinely.... aurgh, sorry!)

Aww tell her you feel insecure and ask her what she thinks you should do to feel closer to her????
Just thinking - put the ball in her court maybe??
I'm not a guy so feel free to shoot me down in flames if i'm wrong here.

upsetdad - you've been missing in action for a while, then make a brief appearance to put down, understandably, some simplistic advice. What's the update??

Interesting though to hear of the fears of infidelity from a bloke in this predominantly female chamber.

Taxi for lessonlearned!

I'm kidding, lesson. Just that from the thread so far, his expressions of insecurity would, I am pretty sure, be met with a severe rolling of the eyes from her.

so where are you upsetdad? Are you just an attention-seeker?

He has his head in the sand.... tricky reading MN down there....

There is not a lot I can say. I might be wrong, in which case I can not imagine anything more hurtful that accusing her, or I might be right, in which case it is too late.

I am not trying to be ungrateful, I just wish I had not had to ask the question.

Well, in your OP you ask 'how can I pretend it isn't happening?'

What isn't happening, exactly? She having an affair, or you burning yourself up about it?

From what you post, you ARE burning yourself up about it, and you still have noo idea what maybe, or could be happening?

Is this a feature of your childhood? Where things happened for some random reason, overwhich you had no control. or were too powerless to even ask why?

No amount of posting, or replies, on here will provide you an answer to your question.

As far as I can see, You DO need to take a big gulp..and ask her is she seeing someone else. And if so why? Anything less than this, at this stage is game playing.

Of course, prepare yourself for answers you may not wish to hear.