Managed to find my way here

[Semprini]

Hi dads,

Just another pointless start to another pointless week in paradise, so I thought I'd sit on my arse and do nothing until I can figure out what to do with myself. Probably wander out to say hello to the pigeons or something, before masking up sufficiently to 'be dad' for one of my weekly visits to my kids this evening.

Sometimes posts from 'mumsnet' come up when I search for non-perverse things (usually to do with mental health matters, along the lines of justifying my existence) so I thought I'd see if there's a dad's version...and there is, so here I am.

I don't do much to reach out to other dads, to be honest. I've been to Andy's Man Club a few times, went along to a few 'Dad's domain' evening drop-in chats after relocating to live nearer to my kids, and usually find myself having something in common with other guys who have kids, for example at church. But otherwise it's the usual slog of pretending that I'm fine - talk about sport, women, cars, and try not to get too drunk.

Usual working class upbringing - managed to avoid drugs somehow, and got this far, going grey and on the verge of turning 40, doing basic minimum wage stuff, usually doing whatever the Jobcentre or employment agency tells me to do.

I'm the usual waste of space. Soul-sucked, spirit-crushed by matriarchy; unemployed lodger, divorced 'deadbeat' dad of two (who live with their mum because I'm too stupid to provide for them) and probably 'mad' (subject to the NHS waiting list). Oh yeah, and I take comfort in Monty Python, hence the username, for those in the know.

I do love my kids: presently a primary school-aged boy and girl. Currently I see them a few times a week. Have a smiling photo of them in my room and on my phone screen to remind me of what matters in life, and helps to put some of the worst temptations in life (usually something to do with sex) in perspective.

'Technically' managed to avoid an affair during marriage (if you omit one night stands, which I told my dear wife about) but I've been suicidal, in psychiatric care and I'm far from getting better. But ultimately I keep going because of my kids, as I know that it would be hard for them to recover from losing me as they continue to grow in body, mind and spirit, and we develop a unique familial bond.

I'm a kind of 'amateur writer', or 'wordsmith', I guess you could say. I've got a 'poetic mind' and I've somehow managed to retain a love of humanity, whilst being cursed with a functioning brain, though it's taken a battering before, during and after a 12 year marriage that took its toll on my cynical, impulsive instinct to just say "f* it". Maybe I can get an income out of the old grey matter one day, before dementia sets in and it leaves me for good. Who knows?

I've done a variety of 'jobs' - all legal and above board - including stuff which is usually seen as meaningful, like caring for others.

I've been tapping this pathetic introduction out for about an hour so I might go for a cry now, which helps me to remember that I'm still human. I've been through a lot.

Hi dads. Sorry for writing.

Somebody's dad

x

If you live in a matriarchal society which country are you in?

Soul-sucked, spirit-crushed by matriarchy

Or you are someone with significant untreated MH issues who screwed up his marriage because of one-night stands? I'd start by taking a lot more responsibility for what led you to the position you're in now. Are you accessing all the MH support you can? Do you have any qualifications?

Do you realise you’re still on Mumsnet, just one of the sub-boards?

Referring to ‘spirit crushing matriarchy’ probably just undermined your whole post, when many MNers are struggling to get dads to acknowledge children, support children, or contribute meaningfully to family life.

Have a smiling photo of them [your kids] in my room and on my phone screen to remind me of what matters in life, and helps to put some of the worst temptations in life (usually something to do with sex) in perspective.

What the fuck does that mean 🤢

?????????

I think it means he sees it when he unlocks his phone to look at porn, as opposed to searching for the ‘non perverse things’ that bring up MN posts 🤷🏼‍♀️

You ok hun?

As I suspected…. 🤢

The kind of internet searching you only do with one hand.

I appreciate this is on Dadsnet, and on any other board for specific types of people it's good form to stay out of the conversation, but I admit I'm emboldened by the other comments here.

I empathised with you right up until you mentioned "matriarchy". Probably you should stick to chatting to people in-person rather than online because I don't think this is going to go too well for you.

JFC men are boring

'Technically' managed to avoid an affair during marriage (if you omit one night stands, which I told my dear wife about)

This would be game over well before it got to ‘stands’ plural, and it would be helpful to see it for what it is, ie you cheated multiple times, and you must have got very close to having an affair if you describe it as ‘technically’ avoiding it, plus the multiple one night stands.

You’re playing into all the stereotypes here.

It's the self-pity.

OP, if you want to write, write. Write stuff for your local paper. Write stuff for local drama groups. Andy's Man Club might offer writing opportunities for raising suicide awareness. Or write a novel, revise it till it's as good as it can be, then send it out to agents with open lists (though you will almost certainly still need a day job). But just do it.

I reckon this is a fake post.

No. It's just a man.

Experience, in-depth, across a shaken form;
cold-coded reason, oblivious to the heart.
Undermined, impassionate, ungraciously forlorn;
forever in oblivion, unheard of from the start.

They teach me brick-walled after-shock, of emasculated vibes;
unsubstantiated viciousness of value-voided lies.
Consigned in make-shift hyperspace of pre-pixilated blurs,
candid spurs of bitterness; uncrafted languid slurs.

Lonered-longing apprehensive, tension pre-receiving;
anchored only at the baulk of what it takes to motion.
Sub-conic escalations of a broken-hearted reeling;
unburdened by man's cosmic comfort; unhinged from her emotion.

Soiled-saddled weariness of a journey's slow demise;
grace-receiving harmony extends the reason why.
My answer stills unflinchingly in vainly sunken eyes;
of hedonia's de-railment betwixt the land and sky.

No motion passed unwavering at time's exonerable peak;
caged-in lack of willingness at sorcery's sorry ploy.
To fate un-tendered destinies of onward marching weeks;
abrasive marks of cave-bound murks within our fractured joy.

Overt caustic anomie of stormclouds up ahead;
she masters pain-drenched memories of day-spells left unsaid.

Bloody hell, it’s Adrian Mole.

It's Taylor Swift

Hi there, I think you need to join a writers group to meet likeminded people but not too likeminded otherwise you’ll end up in a suicide pact, get a job - the devil makes work for idle thumbs, find meaning in life away from your kids so you can be the very best version of you for them. You say your kids are presently - don’t have more until you can find your place in the world and provide properly for those you have.

life isn’t that bad if you focus on the right things and make a plan. Wishing you the best.

Not very good. Perhaps give football a go?

😂

😂

I hate how AI is coming for our creatives, but sometimes; sometimes…

Matriarchy
You speak of voids and burdened fate,
but all I see is self-made weight.
A cold retreat dressed up as depth—
you mourn the love you never kept.
You call it cosmic, fractured joy—
I call it games you used to toy.
Don’t dress your apathy in pain—
you only rage when you can’t reign.

That was all very tedious.

This too shall pass 😁