My feed

to access all these features


How to complain about school?

69 replies

Rick81 · 25/01/2023 11:45

Hello, my son is 8yo. He lives with me full time ( 6 nights per week) . I wanted to change his address at school over to mine,as my address is secondary to his mother. School tells me that they can't change it without mothers permission. They know that our son lives with me, because before he moved in with me couple of years ago,he was upset and stressed out on days when his mother used to pick him up. So the school put him on SEN learning due to his emotional problems and from this point he lived with me. By his choice. We don't have a court order in place,and there is no conflict regarding our arrangement. Whenever I ask school to literally call my ex and confirm the situation so that the address issue can be resolved they say that they don't want to get involved. They said if she called by herself then 'yes. Obviously she is difficult and says that there is no reason to change anything since school holds both addresses. The problem is however if I take care of my son every day,I think it's sensible for school to have my address as number 1. When my son gets ill or something at school,am the one being called to pick him up early. I asked school for separated parents policy or anything how child's address is registered. They told me that they don't have any policy when it comes to this. I said ok ' wonderful. Can you do annual review of where the child lives? They said that they go by whoever registered the child at school ( years ago) it stays this way. I made rival Child Benefit claim because my ex still receives money towards our son. I'm waiting for response from HMRC. Even though this might not be a problem who's address is number 1 ,but I don't want it to be just incase.. I asked school for Governors board contact and was told that every complaint first goes to school reception and then is being forwarded to Governors. Which means I will have to wrestle with school over this issue for very long time. Any advice?

OP posts:
CombatBarbie · 25/01/2023 20:42

Rick81 · 25/01/2023 14:01

@CombatBarbie ofcourse they can. I need to see first if CB will be transferred over to me

But why, it would make CB decision team actually give you the claim.

Rick81 · 25/01/2023 20:50

@CombatBarbie because solicitors cost hundreds, especially letters. Letters she may ignore just out of spite. Where it can cost me nothing if she tells the truth that child lives with me. If she doesn't tell the truth,or there's a problem with something else then I will have no choice but sort it out through solicitor.

OP posts:
Rick81 · 25/01/2023 20:50

@CombatBarbie because solicitors cost hundreds, especially letters. Letters she may ignore just out of spite. Where it can cost me nothing if she tells the truth that child lives with me. If she doesn't tell the truth,or there's a problem with something else then I will have no choice but sort it out through solicitor.

OP posts:
Sugarplumfairy65 · 26/01/2023 20:30

You don't need a solicitor to go to court and get a child arrangement order that specifies the child lives with you. You can then produce the court order to get everything that you want. Youngsters told this months ago but chose to ignore some very good advice you were given

Rick81 · 27/01/2023 15:58

@Needmorelego hi just registered my son at my GP today. They said it should take upto two weeks and if anything or any problems, they will call me. Could there be any problems?

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 27/01/2023 16:11

@Rick81 I wouldn't have thought there would be any problems.

Rick81 · 27/01/2023 16:17

@Needmorelego just asking. Need to be prepared if something comes up.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 27/01/2023 17:47

@Rick81 fingers crossed it's sorted for you.

CombatBarbie · 27/01/2023 17:53

She will be notified that the records are being moved. Apart from that, there shouldn't be n issue.

Rick81 · 27/01/2023 17:54

@CombatBarbie ok so then she will stop the process?

OP posts:
Rick81 · 27/01/2023 18:00

@CombatBarbie exactly this is why I didn't want to do it. Because I thought of her being notified and then being able to stop it. Only to make myself look stupid. Should I go back tomorrow and cancel my application?

OP posts:
LIZS · 27/01/2023 18:03

No leave it as it is, you need the consistency to follow it all through. If needs be her objection could be evidence for a court order. However it is hardly the "no conflict" arrangement you claim.

Needmorelego · 27/01/2023 18:03

@Rick81 don't cancel it. Just wait and see what happens.

Rick81 · 27/01/2023 18:12

@LIZS well. When it comes to my son living arrangements she doesn't argue. He just visits her once per week. I haven't received a message with complaints

OP posts:
1stWorldProblems · 27/01/2023 18:20

As a Governor at one school & an Admin in another I am surprised by the school's attitude & actions. Where I work we would update the child's address to where they live the majority of the time & label that parent Contact #1. You should be able to use a GP's letter as proof if they are refusing to take your word / clarify it with your ex - we would have called her to check. It's odd that they know to call you first but are refusing to update the child's details. We try to keep our records as accurate as possible for the safeguarding of the pupils.

As a Governor, I would say from your comments about frequent attempts to change the address that the admin staff may have labelled you as a vexatious parent (however unfairly). You need to find the school's complaints policy, which should be available on their website and follow it to the letter. Do it all in writing. Move it up the stages of complaint if you don't get a proper reply.

Rick81 · 27/01/2023 19:07

@1stWorldProblems they shouldn't have problem with taking my word. My son had emotional problems, didn't want to go to his mother after school. The problem was that bad where teachers had to drag him inside the school on days when his mother used to pick him up after school. I raised the issue many times and was ignored, finally I said that I won't leave it until they put me in touch with social worker or someone. They did eventually call someone from SEN learning. From this point my son lives with me. So school knows about this situation. They told me " we re glad u stood up for your son" . Yet they refuse to help further. I re-registered my son at my GP today, if they will notify my ex and she stops the transfer then I won't be able to use GP letter. At the end of the day maybe this address issue with school it's not as important as I think it is.

OP posts:
Rick81 · 28/01/2023 12:21

@1stWorldProblems hello again. How should I address my complaint? School website says that any complaints should be sent to school email address so that they will forward it to Governors. I don't want school to read my email and then try to take me under their spell before forwarding it to the governors. Should I keep this initial email short and brief is displaying bias and discriminatory approach to me as a parent. Should I describe in length all issues I have in this email? I don't understand why school wants to see this email first before sending it further.

OP posts:
LIZS · 28/01/2023 19:33

You were advised further down to write a letter to the relevant governor marked Private and Confidential and hand deliver. Be brief explaining that you have requested the school to change your child's address to yours as primary parent several times but have not received a satisfactory response as to why this cannot be actioned or the evidence which may be required to do so. Don't go into the confusing detail at this stage.

Rick81 · 07/02/2023 17:25

@LIZS hi. So I got child benefit award yesterday. Do you think it's going to be difficult now to get UC child element? I don't know if my sons mother reported change of circumstances with universal credit, I would assume she didn't. Also school shouldn't be doing problems with address I hope.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.