DHA test

[Rosco74]

My child is 16 months old and I see no resemblance. It’s eating away at that I might not be the biological father. I see my options as 1. Try and push this thought aside 2. Ask partner that we take a DNA tests.
im not sure if I can push this thought aside. If I am the biological father then clearly it will create some issues me asking for this test.
many advice?

My grand daughter doesn't look much like her parents or sisters, but she's the spitting image of my grandfather - her great, great grandfather! (We had and have no doubts about her paternity.)

My son is my clone. I literally could have had sex with anyone, he's just me in looks.

But now he's older, he's very clearly my partner's soon. Same interests, same talents. Genes are weird.

Your relationship is over.

I have 3 DC. 2 are clones of me and one is a clone of my father. All are my ex's.

Your poor wife.

Her fidelity is in question because of your paranoia, and poor grasp of both genetics and biology.

How is your mental health generally, OP? Sudden onset anxiety and paranoia about this might be a sign that you're not doing so well.

Both my children have my colouring - eye colour, skin shade, hair colour, face shape etc etc which is totally different to my husband's colouring. They are indisputably my children, which of course I know because I gave birth to them. My husband used to joke about people wondering if they were actually his children, given how different their looks are. But it was only a light hearted joke, because he would never have even thought that I might have cheated on him and hidden the paternity of the children. It would never have crossed his mind as a real possibility. And of course, as the children have grown it has become increasingly apparent that they both have his build and body shape, their hair colour has slowly changed and now is not so obviously different to his and they look like a mixture of features from both sides of our families.

I find it really odd that you even could think of infidelity and want a DNA test because your very young child doesn't obviously resemble you yet. As a previous poster has said, is there something else going on with you at the moment that might be feeding into this anxiety over paternity?

It's a bit too far all the comments suggesting OP needs mental help.

You'd think no-one in the history of time had ever got pregnant by another man and passed them off as their husbands. Shit does happen.

The OP said there was a holiday before the pregnancy. Yes maybe the timing is tight but who knows if there was a relationship prior to the holiday.

OP you need to do what's best to put your mind at rest. And if for no other reason to make sure your connection with your child isn't tainted.

Shit does happen.

Of course it does, but suddenly becoming obsessed with the idea that your wife has been unfaithful, so that you "cannot push the thought aside", all for no reason whatsoever is not normal. The holiday means nothing as we have no idea how many weeks she was when she took the test.

I look nothing like my mum but I'm the spitting image of her sister. So much so, as I child I wondered if my aunt was my real mum!

Anyway, this is going to eat you up inside. Just do the test. Find a way.

I wouldn't be upset with my husband if I found out he had done one for reassurance because honestly I'd probably do the same. My little girl is 100% her dad and his mum so if she hadn't come from me (and inherited my sparkling personality) I'd wonder what on earth was going on!!

Good luck, I hope he is yours.

P.s the holiday thing before would make me anxious too

DS1 is the spitting image of his father. I cannot see anything of me in him at all (physically at least.) I actually thought recent pictures of him were his dad.

DS2 is the reverse. He looks nothing at all like his father. He is my mini me. The computer facial recognition thing often labels us as each other.

Both boys have the same parents, although everyone assumes they don't!

I wouldn't be upset with my husband if I found out he had done one for reassurance because honestly I'd probably do the same.

I wouldn't make any assumptions about how your wife might react. I would be devastated if my husband had decided it was possible that I had been unfaithful and hidden the lack of paternity. That lack of trust in the relationship would be the death knell for it.

If you do a DNA test without her knowledge, and it comes back as showing you are indeed the biological father of your child as well as the actual father, then I would recommend destroying all evidence of it as thoroughly as you can and never thinking of it ever again.

It's easy for us biological women to judge because let's face it, we would never be in this situation.

Yes it would hurt if your partner doubted you unfairly but I'm more concerned about the father child relationship suffering.