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Dadsnet

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Original poster

Child benefit

32 replies

AnaLdn · 31/01/2022 09:49

Hello everyone.
Me and my sons mother are not together since birth. She said that in new day and age there's no need for two parents household. Anyway he is 7yo and we had been sharing time around 50/50 up until he was 5 yo. Because he would always refuse to go back to her when the handover came about. Two years ago we decided to share the time 60/40 . Which means I would take him 4 nights and she gets 3 out of 7 . The problem is that she still claims all benefits ie child benefit. We go evening parents separately when it comes to school, we buy separate clothes,toys and basically everything else. My question is how do I go about getting child benefit transferred over. I spoke to HMRC and they told me that I should make a claim so they can decide. I don't want to be making claims only to be rejected as what I'm assuming is that HMRC or other government parties seem to be always leaning towards female support no matter what. But at the same time living with a child and not being even able to add him to my address ( no dependant children) is distressing. Can anyone advice thank you?

OP posts:

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Fallagain · 31/01/2022 09:52

Well you have asked HMRC what to do and they’ve told you. I’m not sure what you expect anyone else to say?

FawnFrenchieMum · 31/01/2022 09:58

When my DSD moved in with us, we put in a claim for the CB to be transferred, they wrote to her mother to confirm the change, if she disputed it then they would decide based on the information / evidence of who it should be paid to. If she ignored the claim, they waiting something like 90 days before transferring the claim to us and asking her to repay the 90 days worth of claim. Its nothing to do with being female, its who has the child most.

GregAdams · 31/01/2022 10:01

Thank you. I am expecting someones opinion who went through similar situation.

cdba88 · 31/01/2022 10:03

HMRC have told you what you need to do.

purpleboy · 31/01/2022 10:04

Name change fail op?

Hapoydayz · 31/01/2022 10:06

HMRC do not lean towards female support it is purely calculated on who most time is spent with

Mundra · 31/01/2022 10:06

You just put in the claim to HMRC. If you have more nights than his mum, you'll get the child benefit awarded to you instead.

Is there a formalised agreement between you both regarding overnights/CM/which days where?

GregAdams · 31/01/2022 10:08

Obviously if the mother doesn't dispute then is all ok . But when she does, then which definitely she will fight for her money, they might look for reasons to not take it away from her. The advisor on the phone told me that they will look at evidence of who cares for the child most. From the conversation I figured that is not just about who the child lives with.

GregAdams · 31/01/2022 10:09

We never went to court. It's in text messages. Everything we agree or disagree is via txt

Nomoreusernames1244 · 31/01/2022 10:11

Do you claim CM? If you are the main parent she will need to pay maintenance.

Hb12 · 31/01/2022 10:12

I'm not sure it is about looking for reasons not to take it, I don't think there is an inherent bias. I think you need to prove who the child lives with most, who does all the 'life admin' etc.

GregAdams · 31/01/2022 10:12

No I don't claim child maintenance,nor does she

Nomoreusernames1244 · 31/01/2022 10:28

No I don't claim child maintenance,nor does she

She should be contributing to her child’s costs. You can use the CM calculator to work out the basic amount if you don’t want to do it formally.

A man who doesn’t pay maintenance would get short shrift on here. Being female doesn’t give her an exemption from supporting her child.

Claim the child benefit, claim maintenance.

Mundra · 31/01/2022 10:28

You don't need to have been to court, but you might have an agreement drawn up between the two of you.
Sorry, I can't imagine how anyone would have arranged their child's life via text messages!

pumpkinpie01 · 31/01/2022 10:34

@Mundra I'm sure lots of people do , when a relationship breaks down so do the lines of communication in many situations. I could not have one reasonable conversation with my ex without him turning it into a row I'm sure I'm not alone with that .

GregAdams · 31/01/2022 10:38

I understand. U 100% correct. The reason why I didn't apply for child maintenance was because she probably works 24h per week to keep full benefits and that makes up to £240 per week. Which means 9% child maintenance is about 90 quid per month. So I thought this money is not worth more stress. Our son still goes to her for 3 days and I wouldn't want her to be antagonistic whenever he mentions my name. This is traumatic for children. He already doesn't want to go with her so that's why we switched days so there's no handovers out in the street . Before that I literally had to carry him down the pavement to meet her . But I'm starting to consider CM aswel

GregAdams · 01/02/2022 09:22

Hello again. Regarding this child benefit business I read on their website. It says that if the person continues to contribute towards the child (upkeep) same amount of money or more than the child benefit itself,they can keep the benefit . In other words what they say is , as long as you keep spending £20 per week minimum noone can take your benefit. Guys £20 is easy to spend. www.gov.uk/child-benefit/how-to-claim

Hb12 · 01/02/2022 11:48

Well, if she does spend £20 per week out of a part time salary/UC, then she isn't claiming it falsely?

GregAdams · 01/02/2022 13:12

Well.. I don't know. I just read it on the government website. But I'm not sure what they really mean. I'm just researching stuff before I make this claim as I don't want to disappoint myself.

GregAdams · 01/02/2022 13:20

By the way everyone knows that this £20 is really going into kids savings account , like my sons.every £20 since he was born went into his bank account. However what this £20 does is that, Child benefit gives parent protection ie access to affordable housing, more time for your children as u can't work full time,

Nomoreusernames1244 · 01/02/2022 13:28

Where does it say that? Can you screenshot as I can’t see it?

As far as I’m aware child benefit goes to whoever has main residence. No conditions. This not just about money, but other things like if you are in receipt of child benefit is you can’t work or work pt due to childcare your NI contributions are paid, maintaining your pension.

Best thing to do o/p is put in a claim. It’s up to them to make the decision on who is eligible.

GregAdams · 01/02/2022 13:52

I think it says here. As long as you keep spending this £20 towards your children.

Frigginintheriggin · 01/02/2022 13:54

@GregAdams, not everyone can afford to save that £20 a week.....
Why are you taking it if you aren't desperate for it?
Is your ex desperate for it?

GregAdams · 01/02/2022 14:01

She is not desperate for it. The reason why she is not because Child benefit is a gateway to other benefits which are basically allowing her to live in affordable housing, getting few hundred quid in child credit,work credit only working 16-24 hours. It's not about this £20 . It's about what other things that come with it.

Nomoreusernames1244 · 01/02/2022 14:36

Why are you taking it if you aren't desperate for it?
Is your ex desperate for it?

Ffs. He is “taking” it as child benefit should go to the parent with main care, in this case the o/p. It’s not about who earns more or who’s “desperate’.

He’s not doing it to deprive the mother, he needs to do it to provide for his child. It will cover NI contributions, UC et if necessary. He needs to be in reciept of CB as main carer to ensure his child is provided for.

The mother needs to step up and pay CM too. Of this were a man saying the child was spending more than 50% of their time at their mums, but he was keeping CN an refusing to pay CM, he’d get his arse handed to him.

If she isn’t main carer she needs to up her work hours if she needs more money, or her child needs more money.

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