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Child benefit

32 replies

AnaLdn · 31/01/2022 09:49

Hello everyone.
Me and my sons mother are not together since birth. She said that in new day and age there's no need for two parents household. Anyway he is 7yo and we had been sharing time around 50/50 up until he was 5 yo. Because he would always refuse to go back to her when the handover came about. Two years ago we decided to share the time 60/40 . Which means I would take him 4 nights and she gets 3 out of 7 . The problem is that she still claims all benefits ie child benefit. We go evening parents separately when it comes to school, we buy separate clothes,toys and basically everything else. My question is how do I go about getting child benefit transferred over. I spoke to HMRC and they told me that I should make a claim so they can decide. I don't want to be making claims only to be rejected as what I'm assuming is that HMRC or other government parties seem to be always leaning towards female support no matter what. But at the same time living with a child and not being even able to add him to my address ( no dependant children) is distressing. Can anyone advice thank you?

OP posts:
AndSoFinally · 01/02/2022 15:16

What you might find if you go for CB is that she decides she wants the child more do she can keep it and the associated benefits.

Do you have evidence of how much time the child stays with you? Is the child old enough to have a say? Are you prepared to go to court for a CAO? I would put these things in place first if you can

GregAdams · 01/02/2022 15:35

Well she can't really decide as if she owns the child . This arrangement has been in place since 2 years now. Every date from January 2020 I wrote down. Also there was an issue at school as my son was agresive towards others including teachers. He would often be upset about wanting me to pick him up from school. He told teachers about it and I asked them to call psychologist. Long story short we had zoom meeting with psychologist and even school is aware of my son wanting to be with me more. After that zoom meeting we decided that he ll spend 4 out of 7 nights with me and half term or school breaks he stays with me 5 or 6 nights out of 7. There were situations where the was a day off from school and we had to do the handover outside. The moment our son started to refuse,I simply told her to come over my house and speak to him. She didn't and simply we left it until next day or whenever the school was next so she can pick him up directly. We don't need court order. Lawyer once told me that I can go if I wanted to but there's no need as the other parent ( mother) doesn't cause issues with arrangements. He said waste of time, money plus u gon have to stick to some order which may not even work few months down the line.
Our son is 7 yo if I forgot to mention.

AndSoFinally · 01/02/2022 16:51

In that case, just apply for it. You've a good chance they'll just move the claim to you.

Is he registered with the GP/dentist/school etc from your address? You should change those too if not

GregAdams · 01/02/2022 17:52

School has my details along with her .he still goes same school since nursery. So I'm assuming she put her address 4 years ago. So don't know if I can go to reception and tell them to make my address as the main one. They would probably ring her I guess. Gp is her address, same thing since birth she would take him same surgery just by the house. We both live in same estate.

GregAdams · 01/02/2022 18:01

I don't know about GP but I can sense that school treats me kind of like a secondary parent. What I mean by that is whenever there's a parents evening I book it and it turns out she booked before me. So maybe notification is sent to her first maybe I'm just paranoid. Also when there was an issue with his behaviour last year and I called principal to arrange psychologist. The next day he told me that he spoke to mum and she agreed. I'm not sure weather it's a standard procedure but never the less they saw problem in his behaviour and I was the one who raised an issue,yet again they informed me that they spoke to her .

Honourofgrayskull · 01/02/2022 18:09

You submit a new claim and the payment currently being paid to her will be put on hold until they look into it further. The claim can take up to 4 weeks to process and the section that makes the follow up enquiries can take up to 12 weeks.

GregAdams · 21/02/2022 21:12

Hi everyone. I posted couple of weeks ago about child benefit as I’m taking care of my son 4 out of 7 nights . I don’t have court order but me and my ex decided over two years ago that our son will stay with me more. She still claims child benefit etc . I spoke to couple of people from ‘dads with kids ‘ forum and they told me not to do it because child benefit people are biased against men and they will do possibly everything to not transfer this benefit to me. Simple reason could be that my ex took our son to gp and I didn’t. Before I apply , I just want to make sure that I got everything right as I don’t want to antagonise the situation and get rejected in the end. I thought of taking my son to gp but he is perfectly fine so there’s no reason. Should I wait for him to be somehow not well and then do it ,so that I have a record of taking him to doctors? Im sorry for rehashing this topic and I understand if noone replies.

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