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Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

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Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

Dadsnet

so, guys, what made you join mumsnet?

36 replies

SquonkaClaus · 10/12/2007 09:54

Those of you that know me, know that I don't have an issue with the old "men on mumsnet " debate, but, whilst having a conversation with dp over the weekend, it did get me thinking about how you found mumsnet in the first place, and why did you join?

And, who was the first bloke on here? (and did you know at the time that you were the only one?)

Am just being nosey so feel free to tell me to sod off (but do it nicely please )

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Kathyate6mincepies · 10/12/2007 10:33

Oh, go on, I want to know too.

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UnquietDad · 10/12/2007 10:35

I found it through a link from something else. I think the "by parents, for parents" tag led me to realise it might not just be for mums.

I was far from the first on here so the presence of other men gave me confidence to post eventually.

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ChubbyStuckForAFestiveNameBurd · 10/12/2007 10:44

Oh yes and how do I persuade DP that he really does want to use mumsnet and become enlightened?

TBH when I go back to work I bet he spends hours on here begging for help as a floundering new SAHD - I'll have to find out his username and ensure you lot are good to him

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Kathyate6mincepies · 10/12/2007 10:44

We're always lovely to the men. Aren't we?

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SquonkaClaus · 10/12/2007 10:46

mostly

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DaDingDaDongDaMerrilyOnHigh · 10/12/2007 10:50

My DW has never been one for joining talk forums, while I always have for music, footie etc. So when we had breastfeeding problems, it was me that joined and posted. I didn't notice many men at first - just Pan and HD.

I just like the sense of humour here, and the fact you can talk bollocks about a whole range of subjects. But then when you do have a serious parenting question that'll be answered too. With so few men there's less willy waving than on male dominated forums which is a bonus.

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ChubbyStuckForAFestiveNameBurd · 10/12/2007 10:54

eeeeeeeeeew @ willywaving [retch]

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UnquietDad · 10/12/2007 10:54

Same here Dadada - my DW hates the internet and pretty much uses it only at work!

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Kathyate6mincepies · 10/12/2007 10:58

Gosh, my dad goes on a few talkboards. Do you think he waves his willy? [horrified beyond belief]

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DaDingDaDongDaMerrilyOnHigh · 10/12/2007 11:00

If he wants to prove how clever/hard he is then yes. C'mon you all know what I mean...

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Ubergeekian · 10/12/2007 11:55

I heard about it from the publicity over, erm, um, you know. Her.

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EricScrooge · 10/12/2007 12:21

Me too - i joined cos i work for a website where our members regularly take the piss out of famous people, so i was despatched to see what the fall out was from Ms Ford's case and exactly what was said about her.

(A lot less worse what is said on mine i found out)

Now i am suckered into the damn thing. I like the 'gawping' part of it - where i can laugh out loud and hold my head in my hands in desparation at the frankly wierd goings on of the female mind.

Since i am a SAHD it also gives me a good insight into the world of parenting. There is some damn good banter too - although i try to stay away from the more anal and percious side of being a parent.

There are also some seriously scary intimate medical and private details being discussed on here that i stay well away form also.

My DW thinks the whole thing is really sad and takes the piss out of me regularly for it. Until she mentioned about these bloody mooncup things and i said 'Ha! - i know who to ask!'

So it has its serious uses too.

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knackereddad · 10/12/2007 18:43

Have lurked for ages but only just joined, like a couple of other dads, was curious about the whole GF thing. As my partner and I threw it away after chapter two.

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CripleH · 10/12/2007 23:18

DW has been on here for a couple of months now. I just joined to see what was happening. I now post more than she does.

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singleparentdad · 10/12/2007 23:30

I've come here as my growing use of the internet for resource grows. Some other parents recommended I have a butchers, and I've used it to attempt and hook people into reading my blog.

Mind, seemed to have received a very welcome, well, welcome. Unlike many places that 'traditionally' don't involve a male presence, like certain M & T groups, or the baby change facilities at various places.

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DeePancrisPaneven · 11/12/2007 00:51

I was trying, in frustration, to find out more about "highly sensitive children", googled such, and that produced an entry from MN...that lead me to read a bit more of MN..that lead me to register and read more of the HSC threads...and then to commence one of my own..and to discuss HSC as my dd is....and to get inspiration from jabberwocky.......and then to get sucked in, with the thought..."it's ok..I can handle it...".

I don't have a dp, and the thought of dd's mother coming on anywhere like MN is like two worlds colliding!

not met any MNers in RL - knowingly - but on target to see VVVQV in her natural habitat some time v. early in New Year.

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EricScrooge · 11/12/2007 12:20

Yeah Singleparentdad.

I wasn't expecting to recieve an overly welcoming embrace either because of my experiences with other female dominated places such as the Pre-Natal classes/maternity things and Mother and Toddler groups.

I was asked to stop coming to the Pre-Natal classes because i was the only guy, was pushed around like a spare part at the hospitals, and had to stop taking my wee one to the toddler groups because of the attitude i was getting from the mums there.

Nice to see they are not all like that.

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EricScrooge · 11/12/2007 12:28

Oh - and it works the other way too.

My DW came home angry yesterday from the nursery cos she had to drop off the wee one instead of me cos i was too ill.

She was annoyed at two of the staff for making sarky comments to her because it was her first time and, not being used to the routine, forgot the coat and packed lunch and had to go back with them.

Personaly - i think she was being overly sensitive to it cos i know she would like to do it more often and misses seeing her 'baby' doing the big kid things like going to school.

But she was still annoyed though.

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singleparentdad · 11/12/2007 12:33

Too right, EricScrooge. I can't believe you were actually asked to stop going, that's terrible. I've found a couple of groups that have been quite good, even though you get the odd 'grunter' but I think every parent gets the odd other that doesn't 'take' to them.

Mind you, the ones I have persisted with have seen an increase in the number of men going. I'd like to think I've had something to do with that.

I've actually been invited and gone out on a couple of toddler group do's. Me and 30 odd women. I didn't look like the sex change weirdo at all!!!!!

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zippitippitoes · 11/12/2007 12:34

there seem to be a little outburst of dads on here lately..

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singleparentdad · 11/12/2007 13:03

A woman being oversensitive Scrooge? Never.
I know a guy that works shifts and therefore looks after his daughter in the day time and comes to one of the playgroups I go to. His wife has been a couple of times, work permitting, and, I have to say, I have noticed that she does get the odd snare, no matter what actually comes out of peoples mouths. She already feels guilty about working, which is ridiculous, but is how she feels. And this sort of attitude doesn't do a lot for that insecurity.

I know it's an issue for some of my female friends. Like my Sister for example. If we're out together with Max, I think people will assume that we are his parents and therefore seem aghast when Max responds or requires service from me rather than his Auntie.

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DaDingDaDongDaMerrilyOnHigh · 11/12/2007 13:22

'An Outburst Of Dads' - I like that as a collective noun Zippi.

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BigGitHoHoHoDad · 11/12/2007 14:04

My wife introduced me the the site after the she who must not be named incident. Morning paper's subsequent article in a magazine that she wrote had me in stitches. Then out of curiosity I just looked at the web site, then decided to join up as I felt I has something to offer in terms of my profession and the advice I could give here, but now I come on more for a chat etc.
Ironically, I now get moaned at that come the evening I am always on here and not paying enough attention to my wife! I wonder how many husbands say that to their wives!
The advice on here is excellent and I am always recommending it to other people I meet who tend to look at me a bit blankly..

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EricScrooge · 11/12/2007 15:08

Well - at the Pre-Natal thing i was told i was allowed to come only if a letter of permission went out to all the ladies there and they all signed to say they didn't mind me being there. If one said no - then i wasn't allowed.

I made a point of complaining at the attitude i was getting but i didn't want to feel like a complete freak with all the fuss i was creating with the permission slips and all - so i stopped going.

I didn't want to create a bad atmosphere for DW with all the other things she was going through with the pregnancy - otherwise i would have stood my ground.

She was very annoyed that i wanted to be with her for it all but i wasn't encouraged.

That was 10 years ago though - so i'm hoping things have changed since.

I'm sure they have.

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SquonkaClaus · 11/12/2007 15:12

eric - when I was pg with dd1 (nearly 14) there were no men at the pre-natal group. When I was pg again with dd2 (nearly 3) I was the only one on my own (dp worked evenings then so couldn't make it)

I think that as far as the pregnancy goes, everyone seems to have an "ooh, isn't he good" attitude which just increases after the baby is born - "he changes nappies? hang on to him, he's a good 'un!"

But things are definitely getting better. The comments about dp looking after the littlies are still there, but nobody actually thinks he shouldn't be doing it, which they did when dd1 was little.

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