Vasectomy - what could your wife/partner do to persuade you to have one.

[adelicatequestion]

DH is dead against and says he will leave if I pressure him into having one.

Why are some men scared by this?

I have had babies, ceasarians, coils, pills etc and he's worried about a 20 minute snip!!!!

sobernow - you say "There are loads of men with second families for whatever reason - many of them because they've left their first wife for a younger woman who eventually wants to have children" Hmmmm, not sure if there are 'many of them'. More women actually leave relationships than men do. And do men specifically leave for a younger woman? Isn't that a bit old-fashioned? As I said earlier my dh's ex left him when he was 39 taking his 3 young children to live 500 miles away.

Nowadays its more that families break up fairly early on ie people don't stay together long so the people involved still have time to have more children. Yes often the man because of the lenght of his reproducitvity but sometiems the woman as welll. anyway going off topic somewhat!!

adelicatequestion - I know of a woman who, during her third pregnancy and having problems with high blood pressure, was advised not to have more children. The first three were all the same sex and she wanted one of the other gender. Disregarding the medical advice, she went ahead and had #4. Same sex again. She was pressured into having a sterilisation when the youngest was a couple of months old. Decades later she finally felt able to state how unready she had been for the finality of not having another chance of trying again. Also how she felt completely unable to talk to anyone about it. Deeply affected her.

It really illustrated to me that such an individual decision needs to be discussed with the partner and if required, also counselled by a professional. It would have been madness for this woman to have another, highly likely that she risked health problems for herself and baby or could even have died, leaving a family of young children behind to grow up without her.

Knowing the circumstances, sterilisation was the 'correct' option. It would have been rather kinder on her if her dh could have offered to be the one sterilised, as it means a general anaesthetic for a woman, but a local for a man. Plus, I suspect he would not have had a problem with it mentally as she did.

The medical advice is that whichever partner gets sterilised should really look on it as irreversible, though. Several posts here seem to infer that the reversal procedure is always straightforward, and it isn't necessarily so.

Hmm, i hsve just read this and i think that once the desicion has been made that a couple dont want anymore children it should be the man, woman would need hrt, and after bearing the children and going through childbirth, to have a major operation with a lengthy recovery process when the man can just go and have a small op and be back on his feet fully functioning after less than a week (even though you know they'll drag it out ) i think it is utterly selfish if the man doesnt want anymore children because if contraception fails he may possibaly want his DW to have a termination! no contraception is foolproof! (wouldnt that be great, foolproof contaception that didnt need an op)

Yeah, well thats my opinion anyway

My 23 year old son has been pursuaded by his 24 year old girlfriend to have a vasectomy. Her behaviour is controlling and I think he is trying to please her.I cant talk him out of it and she gets nasty with me when I try to bring it up.They have 1 child together. This is very bad and I know he will regret it.

I had one after our 3rd kid was born ... we didn't want any more ... it was my idea ... I have no regrets ... and everything still works just fine .
A lot of blokes seem to think it might make you impotent ... they're just being (pardon the pun) dicks.