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Original poster

A professional pants fitting service

49 replies

TiggyD · 03/02/2015 20:07

My pants today were a nightmare. I think they must have gone wrong in the wash or something. In the morning they seemed fine and everything seemed snug and cosy as a winter's afternoon in front of a log fire with a hot chocolate and sheepskin mono-slipper. In the afternoon however, the back of my pants kept sliding down and under and generally acting as a buttock hammock and exposing my bare cheeks to unpleasant downward draughts. Further down and towards the front, the gusset width seemed to shrink leaving me in constant worry of a testicular popout. Regular rearrangement was needed the whole afternoon which wasn't easy in a room full of women.

How come women have all kinds of bra sizes to accommodate their chesty substances, and specialist bra fitters in shops while us men have to cope with medium/large/Xlarge/XXlarge/XXXXXXlarge for our booty and our protuberances? When are M&S going to start offering a decent pants fitting service?

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MoreBeta · 03/02/2015 20:16

I think Jeremy Paxman had a similar set of issues. I suggest you choose a different pant supplier.

I moved over to Calvin Klein for this reason. Problem is that all the ladies can see my waist band poking out over my jeans when I do bell ringing and they rib me mercilessly about it. I am getting really quiet self conscious about it. I know its not a common problem but it really cramps my ringing style too.

I assume your problem is that you are getting quite a bit of 'builder's cleavage' which could be quite an occupational hazard and disconcerting to the customers and other staff at your nursery?

Original poster
TiggyD · 03/02/2015 20:25

I never thought how Calvin Klein underthings would affect bell ringers before.

I avoid the arse crack issue. I've found shirts with quite long tails that seem to cover the crack sufficiently. The trouble with trying new pants is that you can't try them on first, or return them if they don't work out for you. Maybe we could organise some men's groups where local men can meet to try on each other's pants? Tea and biscuits provided?

OP posts:
MoreBeta · 03/02/2015 20:50

"Maybe we could organise some men's groups where local men can meet to try on each other's pants? Tea and biscuits provided?"

I think I might need something a little stronger before I tried that. Grin

VoyageOfDad · 04/02/2015 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TiggyD · 04/02/2015 19:23

I think I should have posted this somewhere else for better traffic.

I'm assuming Calvin Kline's pants are quite expensive. I'm not keen on splashing out on pants. It's not often they'll get seen.

Maybe I could go without any pants at all? I'm sure I've heard tales of such a thing being done before.

Not tried drawing them on Voyage. Did once colour my leg black through a hole in my trousers to disguise the hole.

OP posts:
Original poster
TiggyD · 04/02/2015 22:51

Just found a great way of disguising builders', or in this case Plumbers', crack.

static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/plumbers-crack1__605.jpg

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 04/02/2015 22:57

Made to measure underkecks

You're v welcome.

Otoh, you could stick with that t-shirt - loverly Grin

AlpacaPicnic · 04/02/2015 23:00
AlpacaPicnic · 04/02/2015 23:04

And just to point out that all the bra size options just make it easier to be wrong. Just when we adjust our bosoms back into a bra it looks - not unattractive...

JoanHickson · 04/02/2015 23:04

Shameless place marking.

Honeydragon · 04/02/2015 23:06

Are we talking pants or the man equivalent of the boy shorts women wear?

elQuintoConyo · 04/02/2015 23:12

Someone wrote 'hung like an elephant' and my MNradar pinged!

Honeydragon · 04/02/2015 23:14

The novelty range at Sports Direct get surprisingly good feedback fom gentlemen I am associated with. I believe the firetrap ones are popular too

Arsenic · 04/02/2015 23:18

the man equivalent of the boy shorts women wear?

Trunks Honeydragon?

What other alerts have you got set up Conyo?

ChippingInGluggingOn · 04/02/2015 23:19

Do you need help with the measuring Tiggy? [Wink]

Honeydragon · 04/02/2015 23:20

arent trunks for elephants, swimming and 1930's boarding schools?

Honeydragon · 04/02/2015 23:22

OMFG!!!!!

Tiggy WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

I'm now randomly getting an add for crotchless fucking pants come up on this page.

WHY?

Arsenic · 04/02/2015 23:22

I might be able to weave swimming into my mental image. Elephants have already been touched upon. Boarding schools, definitely not.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 04/02/2015 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 04/02/2015 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Honeydragon · 04/02/2015 23:24

Da fuq?!

A professional pants fitting service
Honeydragon · 04/02/2015 23:25

Jury's still out on me Mermaid, I can neither confirm nor deny.

Arsenic · 04/02/2015 23:26

Might just be you Honey? Hmm

Arsenic · 04/02/2015 23:27

The crotchless articles I mean. Fess up, what've you been googling?

Honeydragon · 04/02/2015 23:29

Erm.... I last went on La Redoute to order some boots for dd, not kinky ones, school boots.

I have not googled crotchless.

Why is Google forming this conclusion?

Why?