A professional pants fitting service

[TiggyD]

My pants today were a nightmare. I think they must have gone wrong in the wash or something. In the morning they seemed fine and everything seemed snug and cosy as a winter's afternoon in front of a log fire with a hot chocolate and sheepskin mono-slipper. In the afternoon however, the back of my pants kept sliding down and under and generally acting as a buttock hammock and exposing my bare cheeks to unpleasant downward draughts. Further down and towards the front, the gusset width seemed to shrink leaving me in constant worry of a testicular popout. Regular rearrangement was needed the whole afternoon which wasn't easy in a room full of women.

How come women have all kinds of bra sizes to accommodate their chesty substances, and specialist bra fitters in shops while us men have to cope with medium/large/Xlarge/XXlarge/XXXXXXlarge for our booty and our protuberances? When are M&S going to start offering a decent pants fitting service?

Erm well Tiggy did use the phrase 'testicular popout' - maybe google can do clever comprehension and triangulation stuff

I'm perturbed, disturbed and other things ending in urbed.

No good ever comes of going into Dadsnet.

Chambers looks like a god-fearing spinster of a search engine.

I;m not sure I've been here before. Did the dads stop speaking when we arrived?

If you sit quietly for about seventeen months they come back.

Tiggy you're on fire this week.
Has someone popped a little something in your tea?

What is 'bell ringing' a euphemisms for?

@ elQuinto's MN radar - interesting settings you've got...

I'm not sure I can sit here for 17 months

Pdog

Beta is somewhat unusual for a Mnetter when he says he's off to put a bun in the oven, having a bell ring or taking the crumpet out. He really is doing all those things.

There definitely should be such a service, but I wouldn't want that job!

I'm back.

A much better day today. A bit saggy but everything stayed in place even if my buttocks didn't feel hugged in the way they should.

Pacific's "made to measure pants link wasn't to do with size. Only custom colours.

And I was talking about boy briefs and not shorts in any way. No dangling loosely and flopping about for me. I like my tackle supported from underneath as if set upon a silver platter ready for the Queen to inspect.

There's at least one man about posting on Dadsnet, so on the odd day when there's 2, things can get PRETTY hectic!

HD, I know - hard to believe as it is…

TiddyD, my apologies. I thought it looked promising
Your tackle is left to dangle another day.
'Tis not right and not fair.

Perchance Harrods might stock gentlemen's undercrackers with a built in silver salver?

Actually they've gone downhill since the Diana business.

Try Rigby and Peller?

Tiggy

I must love you. Because of you the interwebz has stalked me with crotchless pants. Yet I've come back to see if you've come up with something yet.

Maybe Bravissimo is the answer: they won't measure, just eye you up AND GET IT RIGHT EVERY SINGLE TIME

Honey, my honey, who are you trying to kid…..

Can anybody else see those crotchless pants? There's always the chance that you're hallucinating them.

I took a screen shot. I have evidence.

Yes, but who knows where else on the interweb you might have been, DH?
Maybe crotchless pants is you thang, hm?!

I reckon she's the type Pacific.

I see no crotchless pants.

I see no adverts at all. I have Adblock. Advertising is for plebs.

I'm getting Ocado Nappy Sale.

Which is even weirder.

It sounds like your elastic has gone tiggy.
I Suffered similar this morning on the school walk. All was fine and dandy leaving the house but by the time we got within sight of the gate it was feeling all unseasonal around the bodberries but a furtive hitching up was completely out of the question,The coven don't take kindly to a dad at the best of times.

BHS and C&A used to be brilliant for proper well built briefs, but there's none of them left near us.
I don't like the shorts or boxer pants either, might as well wear nothing but they still need washing, and I get a terrible rash.

I buy my tighty White ones from matalan now, they only last a couple of hot washes (40c Does not cut the mustard or shift the ---) but they are cheap enough to be almost disposable, which they are when the elastic goes.

Perhaps there's a gap in the market for a borat mankini soft white cotton, with anti chaffe?

It sounds like your elastic has gone tiggy.

It sounds like I'll need to find a reputable pants mechanic. Presumably I'll have to stand legs apart on one of those lift things to get raised up so several pants mechanics can work on me from underneath. Any recommendations?