Upset - need man's opinion

[FourJays]

My DH has a single female friend. They have known each other on and off since they have been 11 and have got closer since she broke up with her boyfriend.
She has just bought a new house and wants him to go over for a drink and to spend the night. She says she has invited another married man that they used to be school friends with.
I got upset and said I was not comfortable with him staying over but that if he insisted he should stay with a family member of mine. Now she has had a total hissy fit and says that I have insulted her and do not trust her (i've met her three times.) They have been out for drinks a few times and I am not invited despite asking.

My female friends think it is amazingly inappropriate and that I should not worry about upsetting her as she clearly doesn't care if I am upset. They are both saying I don't trust them, no-one has done anything wrong etc and that I am making everyone unhappy, what is my problem etc.
She did a "poll" in her office and all the married women there said they wouldn't have a problem with their husbands staying at another woman's house.

Is it me? I'm so upset but how can I stop this?

slut, and they've definetely got history.

if he goes and plans to stay at your mothers you can bet your ass you'll be told the next day they got too drunk/it got too late and he ended up satying, and btw x canceled at the last minute so it was just the 2 of them

your dp needs to get a grip, going for drinks fine. staying the night definitely not unless you knew her well too and trusted her. frankly her behaviour indicates that even if he isn't planning something, she is!

Having skimmed through this thread I think that neither of them should expect you to be happy with the arrangement if you don't really know the woman that well.

We do things that we know will upset our wives because that's what men do (I was a real shit and went out to watch rugby leaving my ill wife to look after the ill kids etc.) but this is something where your opinion should be final. There are too many conatations and the potential for it to be dragged up whenever you have an arguement to even risk it, even if it is completely innocent.

Agree that if she valued is friendship for just that - she would welcome you and want to get to know you.

Having opposite sex friends shouldnt be an issue. Going out with friends "on your own" shouldnt be an issue. Seems to me like she is actively excluding you - as is your DH - which is what is worrysome.

If it was all above board, she wouldn't be so upset.

I'm the first person in the "trusting their DH" queue, but something whiffs a bit here. In fact, they're acting like 15yos who want to have sex but are protesting loudly that "he's sleeping on the floor in her bedroom".

If she was above board, she'd come and stay at yours and she'd not get angry.

As for your DH - tell him to grow a pair.

She'd be mortified that she'd upset you, IMO.

The only married man i would have stay in my house was the one i was married too

if nothing else its RUDE

Dh recently buggered off for the weekend as his ex-boss (& old flame) '+1' for a wedding. Ex-boss had recently dumped a loser bf, & asked dh via msn if he fancied escorting her to the wedding of somebody they both used to work with.

The thing is, I know dh's mate. She's stayed at our house, she's babysat our kids, she's lovely. She & dh might've copped off a few times before he met me, but it's ancient history.

But even so, dh bloody ASKED if it was OK! If you aren't comfortable with his 'sleepover' then he should respect that. Particularly if she's pointedly not invited you - the most charitable explanation is that she needs to grow up a bit.