Shocking behaviour.

[ubersquiz]

I'm new to this site.

I'm frankly quite upset at the attitude of some of the women on here.

I visited some of the feminist sections and wow! Misandry galore. We are always being told feminism is about the progression of equality. But all I've seen seen so far is hateful stereotyping and over offensive cliches about certain sections of the male gender.

This troubles me for a number of reasons.
How on earth do they expect to progress equality if they still can't shake off these age old stereotypes about men?

Isn't stereotyping what they've always accused us of doing to them?

Did you read the other comments?

Did you read the one about men being children playing video games pretending to be heroes? That's completely inaccurate and sexist. Sorry but it is. Women do it to with magazines, television and books. Hell everyone does it. But to suggest that when men do it its somehow childish is wrong.

That's what I had a problem with. Not the domestic violence.

You might as well come out and be specific, ubersquiz, because muttering darkly about feminist 'stereotypes' ain't going to cut it.

You took issue with one passing comment on one thread: someone suggested fighting DV in real life instead of playing video games and 'being a man child and getting your kicks from living a fantasy world'.

That's what you described as an offensive stereotype, amirite? And you got WTF? replies, and it all went downhill from there.

Perhaps I could have put it better.

You betcha.

When women talk about male violence they are not tarring all men with the same brush. They are discussing an issue that has been described as 'an epidemic' by the WHO and the UN.

Ah, x-post.

I'm just so grateful that a man such as yourself has taken the time to come on here and show those pesky feminists that they are really just a bunch of silly little girls, you are just so right with all your words of wisdom.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

As a gamer can I gently suggest your reaction to that one comment was massively OTT?

You got mad about 'stereotypes', and the other posters on the thread assumed you were mad about them discussing M on F domestic violence and not F on M, because that's what men usually come on to say. And you didn't specify.

You described the attitude on the thread as 'disgusting'. Because of one off-topic comment by one person.

Can you really not take a step back and see the topic being discussed was a little more important than what one person thinks of gamers? (And probably doesn't even really think about gamers, she was really suggesting it as a sort of 'marketing' approach)

I didn't want to single out any one person as I felt that would have been unfair. Perhaps next time I will do that. I feel they have taken me completely out of context but on reflection I suppose I did bring that on myself.

'that's what men usually come on to say'

Shit shit shit! Not all men! Men who come on to derail!

It wasnt that Ott boulevard. Have you seen some of the ridiculous accusations being made about gamers on the internet these days?

Its ridiculous. We are all being stereotyped. Its completely wrong on so many levels.

I've taken the time to look at some of your posts OP and you come across as quite abrasive and with a propensity to state your opinion as fact, you seem like a person who Likes To Tell It How It Is and take it to extremes. I don't think it's much to do with you being a man at all, though of course there will be an element of that because of your mansplaining tone.

The damsel in distress phenomenon etc. All completely wrong and innacurate. But its still a stereotype aimed at men.

I've never stated my opinion as fact. It may come across like that. But that's what happens when you don't take the time to talk to someone and instead jump to conclusions.

I'm a VERY open minded person. I'm incredibly liberal too. I merely offered a different view point on a couple of subjects. If people don't want to talk those out and further understand where I'm coming from and in return help me see their point of view then there's not an awful lot I can do about that.

But all I've seen seen so far is hateful stereotyping and over offensive cliches about certain sections of the male gender.

Really? That's all you've seen after a night and morning perusing Mumsnet?

I think you're here with an agenda.

Meh. Is the gamer stereotype doing real world harm? Or is gaming still a multi-$$$$$ industry, selling its products freely in every supermarket in the land?

OK, so let's stick with fighting DV. Or Ebola. Or the Tories. Or whatever floats your boat.

Not saying don't challenge it when you see it, but y'know, don't go in all guns blazing. Stealth mode.

So far yes. I've seen a lot of it.
My agenda? To talk about my sons Eosinophilic Esophagitis and the struggles we have with the constant allergic reactions to random foods and general feeding problems. Was recommended the site by my partners friend.

Sorry to disappoint you if you were expecting me to be some kind of rabid MRA in disguise.

Stealth mode haha. Talking my language.

I am trying to imagine a hypothetical situation (a la Deborah Cameron's discussions in "The Myth of Mars and Venus" where she carefully deconstructs the idea that men and women have intrinsically different conversational styles) where a man tries to enter a new male friendship group. Now I actually have a lot of experience of being the "honorary bloke" in predominantly male groups (mountaineering clubs, playing 5-a-side football with colleagues, working in male dominated professions) so I have had plenty practice as an amateur participant-observer anthropologist on this one (need for tongue-in-cheek emoticon - I have no anthropological credentials, but hopefully people will know what I mean). And when a man is new to an environment, he knows to keep stum till he's weighed up the structure of the group, what topics are/are not okay, etc. In other words, he behaves pretty much like a woman would in a new group, because, guess what, shock horror, we're actually all people.

And I've had a look at Uber's slew of posts on FWR, and guess what, he's not doing that. He's coming in to "tell people women how it is". And when challenged on that, he's getting steadily more and more aggressive. Which suggests to me that either he does not understand the normal rules of social discourse which apply to newcomers (of either sex) entering established social groups (he has some sort of social processing impairment), or he's deliberately on the wind up. I leave it as an exercise to the reader of his posts to decide which.

Well, you've spent an awful lot of time on the feminist sections, telling women off, for someone wanting to talk about Eosinophilic Esophagitis.

So why hang out on the feminism boards rather than general health if that's the sort of support and advice you're looking for?

So because you've seen a teeny tiny part of me you think you know it all. Nice assumption.

Did you per chance read my offerings on only children? What about advice for online safety?

Didn't think so. You chose one aspect of me and went with it. Nicely done.

I read them ubers and found your abrasive tone similar there too.

Because as yet I've not had a chance. Out of morbid curiosity I thought I'd have a look at the feminism section. After all it should be helpful to me shouldn't it?
What I saw was not what I was expecting.

I'm not going to continue this pointless arguement with you while you carry on this obsession with having something to prove about me. You don't know me and you never will.

.

So I'm abrasive?
Some people are. Takes all sorts to make a world.

Who is this 'they' you keep mentioning uber?