how is your man around the house???

[MindShaker]

Im sitting here now thinking i should be doing more in the house when im not at work and when i come home i would like to know if the majority of blokes are the same as me? lazy

Lol, my neighbour is also a good bloke - he volunteered to do our front lawn Thursday night.

Of course, I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, so I let him.

He works 4 days a week, evenings and nights.
I work 3 school-length days a week, taking ds with me.
Dh does all the diy stuff.
Will bung a vacuum over unasked if he notices it needs doing.
Will do more than that if asked (I tend to notice sooner than him the dust etc!)
He rarely does things like clean the bathroom/kitchen floor
Does dishes
Can cook but I tend to do more.

How's that?

When my dh cleans up somehow he makes twice the amount of mess than there was before and then just stops in the middle of it resulting in me having to tidy up twice the amount of mess Gowever he is a good cook and cooks 3 or 4 times a week when he gets home from work so I can have a bath a a bit of time away from the children and he always gets up in the night with them and takes them down in the morning especially at weekends so that's lovely, however when I come down the kids are screaming as he hasn't made them breakfast and it is a disator zone in the living room. I wouldn't swop him the world (well maybe keanu Reeves! ).

Thanks for all your replys good to see what everyone elses partners do.

My wife moans at me a bit because she feels i do not do enough, i am now thinking she may be right.

We have 2 small children one at nursery 4 mornings & a baby of 5 months.

She does all the housework i:e cleaning, hoovering, washing up, cuts the grass, shopping, baths the kids, feeds them, all household bills, cleans the car
She HATES cooking but does it as much as she can probably 5 times a week other nights we get a take away or i may cook on ocassions.

I on the other hand go to work at 6.30am in a very physical job come home at 5.30pm i work 6 days a week for 2 weeks & 5 days for the other 2 weeks. I will sometimes cook maybe on a sunday, wash up probably once a week & maybe get the hoover out & clean once a month.

I am now thinking i DO take her for granted but i was brought up like this, my mother has always run around after my father because he works 7 days a week, i suppose its what i think is normal but now i am thinking that maybe it is not?

I like to come home from work have a bath see & play with my kids for an hr then rest infront of the tv, maybe i am wrong?

Sounds like you've come to the conclusion that you're not doing enough, whatever anyone else thinks...so what are you going to do about it?

In answer to your second question, not sure what I'd want him to do if I was SAHM NOW as all three are at school, but when I was on maternity leave/career break I did most of the housework (although as little as possible, lol, but used to virtually chuck the babes at him as soon as he walked through the door, and he did all of the DIY. Not right or wrong, just what worked for us.

He works about 50 hours/week. Very demanding job.

I am a SAHM.

He utters the 6 most beautiful words when he gets home, "What can I do to help?". A lot of what he does is watch the kids so I can get stuff done. He is not squeamish about doing housework, either. Last night I was very tired, and so was he, but said I made dinner so it was only fair he do the dishes. He also got up quite regularly with DS and DD. Granted I got up far more, but both DS and DD were horrible sleepers, and were up 6-9 times a night for the first few months. He always made sure I had at least a 3 hour stretch of not getting up with them. He had no role model for this either, in 3 generations of males in his family, he is the only one to have changed a diaper, gotten up with their kids, helped around the house.

I'm afraid comparing you to my circle of friends, you don't do nearly as much as any of our husbands, and all but one of is is a SAHM. I have to say, before I got married, I worked 60-70 hr weeks on average in a pharmacy, which is that demanding in you are always in a rush/running all over/dealing with sick and or crabby customers and very draining. It was nowhere near as tiring (or rewarding) as being a SAHM. Have you ever spent a day taking care of the kids and doing what she does? If you haven't, try it sometimes, you might just be surprised.

MindShaker, one thing you could easily help out with is the cooking. Doesn't have to be every evening when you are knackered - there are two possibilities: cook up a number of big meals on Sunday for freezing and eating during the week, or a slow cooker. These are fab, basically brown some meat/veg (or not), whack in slow cooker in the morning, et voila, by evening you have a meal ready. Cooking is one of the hardest things to do with little ones under foot in my view.

To answer your questions:

1. My dh is a SAHD but also chronically ill so it's all he can do to watch ds when he's awake.
2. I work full-time and all other childcare for ds.
3. Not a lot, sometimes hangs the washing out, sometimes puts the dishwasher on. He has male selective blindness to what needs doing in the house, but I am prepared to put up with telling him what needs doing, when/if the day ever arrives that he is physically able to do it!

He works full time nights

I am a full time student, altho on hols but dealing wioth three kids one SN

He's fab . I'm good at the big clean up disinfect stuff, but he does the picking up after, packs clothes away, washing up. REALLY couldn't ask for more.

He is a mature Student although going back to work full time soon.
I work p/t but expecting #5 so giving up soon.

He is great at the big cleans like the toilet and disinfecting the kitchen, he does the grass and the car, quite a bit of cooking and a small amount of hoovering/washing up.

I do mostly hoovering, dusting, picking up stuff all bloody day!!! And the laundry/ironing.

He is greta with the kids and I often get nights out with the girls. He goes to golf on a sunday morning.
At this precise momnet he is having a nap but that gives me time to sit on here without feeling gulity that I haven't even started on Dinner

greta = great

crap

When my two little ones get up early (at around 6am) my DH will get up with them and tells me not to get up and have a lie in before I go to work. He is a fulltime househusband and I am working fulltime.

1. Dh works 4 days/week office, 1 day/week at home. (ie, on that day he looks after ds & soon will be looking after dd, & makes it up by working in the evening).

2. I work f/t. Currently on Maternity Leave

3. At the moment dh does the 'morning' stuff with ds. He also collects him from childminder's. We've continued ds going to CM whilst I'm on ML as he loves her & the routine, it's not practical to ask her to take a 6 month break & still be available come September, & it gives me time with dd.

I do much if not all of the housework because, tbh, one 3 month old baby is NOT a full time job! On the days when I have both kids then strewth yes...

When I go back to work we'll have to reconsider housework - judging by my return to work after ML with ds, this will = me cooking & washing, dh 'odd jobs' & housework as delegated by moi. Saturday morning devoted to house blitz.

1. works full time - leaves at 6.10am, home at 5.10pm

2. am SAHM ( when I am home and not running around after dds.)

Jobs he does around the house

unpack dishwasher - always, packs it sometimes
cleans chairs and dining table- scrub once a week, kitchen floor- scrubs
take rubbish out and then takes bins out
dinner, baths and bed time for dds
makes our bed weekends ( I am still in it on weekdays)
cooks at least 2 - 3 times a week
washing up - if needed
tidying up
irons his workshirts if I haven't gotten to it.

mows lawn, tidies garden ( usually with my help)
we are redecorating and he has done most of that too.

Ok I think I maybe getting a bum deal...
He works full time
I work part time (6-10hrs)and am a sahm the rest of the time
I do almost all childcare, housework and cooking.
Dh will bath ds 1-2 times a week, ditto bedtime. He has changed about 10 nappies in almost 2years, has hoovered once in the last year, never cleaned bathroom, toilet, kitchen etc, cooked 1 or two times in last year.
He does however always come to hospital appointments for ds and do all the work on the cars/truck that needs doing. (oh and I have M.E and a little one with medical issues)

I try but...
In reality I'm crap and DW does it all

I do all the decorating and she doesn't so fair's fair

Ooh was thinking about his last night ( sad, sad life!)

I work FT.

DH is self employed, and is at home weekday mornings when he has ds, but also takes and makes business related phone calls/emails. Works from 1pm-6pm (DS at nursery) 4 days a week and then 6pm to late between 1 and 6 nights a week too (it's that kind of job!)

So here is the division of labour as I experience it
DH does :
ALL the cooking apart from filling the breadmaker!
Feeds ds breakfast weekdays
Takes ds to nursery and collects him from nursery 90% of the time
Cleans bathroom
Occassionally, if asked, DH will pair up socks but fail to put in sock drawer!

I do:
ALL washing up and clearing up after DH cooking.
Clothes washing, drying and ironing.
Put bins/recycling out
If I am around, DH will not change a nappy.
If I am around, I tend to feed ds
I put ds to bed every night
make beds ( hahaha!!) and change bedding
I do general tidying up
Prepare water/milk stuff for ds
sort and pack lunch for ds to take to nursery each day

When we have a 'blitz' DH shares hoovering duty.

I don't think it's very fairly divided...really irritates me when he is lying in bed reading at midnight and I am doing blue arsed fly impression trying to sort everything out ( and I have to get up 2 hours earlier than him!)

ho hum!

we both work but dh does most of his work from home so at present is main carer for dd.

he does dishes; laundry; cooking; hoovering; once a year dusting occasional cleaning of bathroom
so pretty much even between as depends on how tired how busy how arsed one can be

Dp works full time

Im sahm at minute

he..makes beds on morning, stacks/empties dishwasher, puts dd's brekky out, makes us drinks then go's to work after chatting with us for a while..when he comes home, he has bath, has tea(which i cook), coffee, chats with me and plays with dd before settling down time, then when i take her up( i always do this unless im at colledge or going out which is never), he empties/restacks dishwasher(if its been on sinse morning), cleans kitchen worktops and telly screen, does banking on puter, then chills out!

god..i never saw how much he does do!!..must start appreciating him more!

DH works full time
I am at home at the moment but going back to work FT in 9 wks (not that I'm counting)

DH does large majority of the cooking and washing up from any meal he cooks, shares childcare in evenings including nappy changes, baths, etc. Does his own ironing and will put the hoover round as well as the DIY and gardening stuff. I do the cleaning, washing etc and we share everything else. He's great

my dh works full-time and commutes daily from Swindon-london

I'm a sahm

dh loads dishwasher, does washing-up, sorts out all the washing, does rubbish, would do more if needed but I have time as am at home and ds does go to nursery/preschool. Childcare - we both do it. obviously I do the majority as dh working all day, but he does most at weekends, usually I'm the one who gets up in the night as invariably I wake up first and if ds wakes up in the night it's usually cause he's ill and so he wants mummy. dh will get up though and change bed etc if ds has been sick while I deal with ds. he's great and wouldn't change him for the world. as for diy ... that's not dh's thing really so we get my dad to do most of it, lol.

DH leaves house at 4.30am MON, back at midnight; 7.25am TUES, THURS, FRI, back anytime between 8.30pm-midnight, WEDS leaves at 7.00am, back late. Usually tries to be back by 8.30pm on a FRI.

Last 4-6 weeks, has been back at 1am twice pw. Has been like this ever since we have been together, and I used to work in a similar job, so I do understand the pressures / logistics of it. Therefore, DH does almost nothing during the week, I am just grateful if he gets to see DS at breakfast time. He takes rubbish out tho' even if he is back v late.

I have 4 hours cleaning help pw; DS in nursery 4 mornings pw; I am 33 wks pgnant. I amke sure he has 5 shirts ironed pw & has dinner every night ready for him (in fridge, on a plate, with "menu" sent / chosen via text). I also do all of daily housekeeping, eg keep on top of laundry, kitchen, bathrooms, altho' am doing less now pregnant.

I keep on top of the logistics of our life, in that we keep in touch thru email, synch diaries for w/e in case he is working, check his biz travel arrangements with his secretary etc. He takes DS once every fortnight for most of Sunday / Satruday sothat I can chill / catch up with my studies.

He books all cars for MOTs etc, looks after the bikes, mows lawn, goes to the butcher's once per fortnight. These are all things that he can do with DS, so is part childcare as well.

I do get grumpy sometimes, but only if he doesn't let me lie in at the w/e, it's the only thing that really gets to me! Otherwise he is lucky that I am normally a fit energetic woman!! However we are very happy together and I know that he is more than capable of mucking in if needed, the only reason why things are like this are his long hours. He also seduced me with his extremely well-kept flat & flair for cuisine (Thai a speciality), as well as our shared love of the French football team .... most of my friends are in the same boat so at least I don't feel left out / hard done by. Have met some local mothers more recently who have DH's who come home at 5pm, and I know that is just a whole different ballgame ... !!

1. full time
2. sahm
3. Dishes when I phone from wherever I am and ask him to. Bin emptying. Doing DD's dinner (again if I ask... and although I say "please will you do her dinner?" he knows it is a "do her dinner".

He does get up with both children, normally on both saturday and sunday morning while I sleep on til about 10ish. I tend to get stroppy that he doesn't do housey stuff the right way (MY way ), so he tends to occupy munchkins whilst I get it done.

1. Yes, full time.

2. SAHM until Sept when I become a student

3. Less than he used to do, if I'm honest. It mainly all falls to me.