How does it feel tone in here?

[kickassangel]

I'm just pooling around on my iPad, wasting time, when I realized that Dadsnet is in the club section of mn and wondered how people felt about that?

Would it be more relevant to be in the parenting section, or does there even need to be a separate section?

Just curious, really, but it sort of feels like being a Dad is some kind of hobby group you might sign up to on a Thursday evening, when I suspect that really it's part of everyday life.

You definitely didn't dream it Mary.

See everyone complains about the uk climate but you can't be the land of rolling green fields and apples without rain. Rain is kinda essential to the essence of the UK.

Clearly the name is a bit of a barrier for most

With all the crumble talk I was a bit paranoid my reply to the dessert apples thread was being ripped into as a WTF? moment. I was sitting with DS after bad dream (at 4am) and 'Shit - I told her 175g butter didn't I?' popped in my head and stressed me out so much I had to follow up. Now I can't sleep. I did hear someone get up to go on holiday (or dispose of a body, but I heard curt female commentary interspersed with door bangs, which suggests former), which is exciting.

Pan-joke.

Back on a train. :(

I'd really prefer to be in bed still.

MaryZ. This thread will eventually reveal itself to be a map of the male brain when printed out and property arranged.

The 'you couldn't make it up' type threads are bizarre.

Imagine if you were posting that about one of your children

I assume it's some sort of defence mechanism, I think some women have a real problem with the man being competent in the house.

Thoughts?

Roll a number, write another song like MrGin heard the day he caught the train.

WOOAAAAH LA LA WOOOAAAH LA LA!

Sorry bout that...

I used to be on a car forum where regularly a 'women bless 'em' threads would start up. It was all " lolz my g/f put oil the window wash" or " my wifey thinks a circular bike ride from home has less uphill bits if we go anti clockwise" kind o stuff.

Whenever I see a "men aren't they daft" type thread on here it just makes me think women can be just as sexist as men behind closed doors , when in the company of their own sex......

My husband - love him for all he is worth - does sweet fa around the house.

Women i think are more inclined to hate all men if one is mean. That said, i do think they are also more sexist

i would love nothing more than to stay home when we have a baby and be pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen

i have a good career and i wouldn't say i am stupid but i would choose family over career

and i put money aside in case i need it but i will not plan for my marriage to fail

The sort of post that amazes me is when someone complains about the way their partner has always been...and then proceeds to have children with him.

Women tend to get bitter quicker...

We know men and women are different. My husband wouldn't see a sink of dirty dishes if they fell over and knocked him off his laptop. But he will do them if I ask. So I ask. Big deal.

Do you think "Relationships" is a very skew ACTUAL reflection on relationships or do you think there is an element of over-exaggeration?

I agree changlingz like women think getting married or having children will change a persons behaviour!

I dont think any external event will chane people it has to come from the person who wants to change and its rare that people see they have to change.

I think in relationship board people post when they are upset and emotional. If they posted after the shock or dust had settled i think it would be different.

Our biological clock ticks louder than men's do. I think women will be quicker to hope that a man will change, and that the marriage / children combination is enough to sustain his shortcomings.

I think women are quicker to just "settle" - because our ovaries have a time limit

What's that old saying? Something about women marrying men and hoping they will change, whereas men marry women and hope they stay the same?

I always thought I was being viewed as a sperm-donor!

Changling You didn't really, did you??? Are you still married to the recipient of your sperm?

Artex I see your point. But while there are groups of people (be they black, white, male, female, asian or puppies), who have "Blacks Only", "Whites Only", "Men Only", "Women Only" etc etc, there will always be a degree of animosity and people will always be wary.

It's "against human rights" for their to be a "men's only" anything (apart from toilets - probably at female request) but "women's only" abounds.

Different rules does not a happy group of diverse people make

I think there are a whole gamut of different experiences and attitudes really. But generalizing I think men just aren't that bothered about tidiness to the same degree due to ( for want of a better word ) laziness.

I was just talking to a woman in the canteen who was describing how when she visits her dad ( in Poland ) , where her daughter lives, she goes into cleaning mode as soon as she enters the door.

She said to her daughter ' why don't you clean this corner of the floor ? ' and her daughter replied ' because you're the only person who ever looks there' :o

One of my dearest friends was a SAHD until he booted his wife out for having an affair. The contrast between before and after she left is quite apparent. It's not dirty in his home but there is certainly more clutter. More MrK's den of interesting objects and books that the Vogue interiors that it used to aspire to.

I've another friend who is a single dad and his place is generally pretty messy. I'm sure there are plenty of women who aren't that bothered.

And again there are a whole gamut of different situations. I remember when my parents ( fools ! ) used to go on holiday and leave me and my older brother at home as teenagers.

My brother knew that I'd freak out about cleaning the house up for their return before he did. I'd break first and do the cleaning. I'm slightly embarrassed to say that by about the third time this happened two female friends of mine would come and do the cleaning. Quite happily as I remember.

( disclaimer : I am a bit hung over my brain is not functioning on higher levels )

must have missed this tread breaking the relitive quiet tranquility of dadsnet.

the fact dadsnet is in the club section doesnt cause me any lost sleep, but there is a feeling that when your a dad even if your hands on dad that your just playing at it and the children are the wifes department, she will get the final say in what is good for them, people have asked me if i'm 'babysitting' if i cant come to the pub.

She said to her daughter ' why don't you clean this corner of the floor ? ' and her daughter replied ' because you're the only person who ever looks there'

So true!! My husband shrugs and says that he can't see what I am looking at.

I don't mind though. I think he understands that I feel that he supports me when he helps a bit (when we both work - if I stay home, then I take on the lions share of the housework and visa versa).

At the end of the day, when we are fortunate enough to fall pregnant, I will largely be able to stay at home for as long as I want and that's a big deal for me. He is happy to know that I squirrel money away for a rainy day.

I have never so much as snogged another man while I've been dating someone. Neither has my husband. I don't understand the "affair" culture and MN scares me into believing that it's so natural. That people just suddenly wake up one day and go "I fancy cheating"

I like the support on here but I hate that "man bashing" aspect because I see no point in gender stereotyping. None whatsoever. Passed being a child, we allow people to treat us in certain ways and if you let your partner or parent or child treat you like a dog, then you can't exactly blame everyone else for it.

This thread aside, 'Dadsnet' is like a club. A gentlemen's club, where nothing much happens aside from the occasional rustle of newspaper.