Non molestation order breach

[Bovine32]

I really need advice on how to handle the police and if I can actually get them to stop this.

I was awarded a non molestation order in April 19 against my ex father to my oldest child, he doesn't have contact due to a nai to child resulting in a black eye, ss dreamed him a risk and he refused to engage with the risk assessment so it was no contact. He then turned on me, it's my fault and so smashed up my property, threatened me and my family and we had to move.

the last few months my ex has been increasingly becoming erratic.
There has been a few public postings online about me, using my full name and asking people to pass messages to my kids at school. He put a recorder on his daughter while she met me to see her brother and then said he knows where I live and will bring me a surprise (I don't think he does know where I live and was just trying to scare us) but yesterday myself and my husband received death threats after he made fake profiles and sent messages to himself basically making my husband out to be a "nonce" his words, it's clear as day these messages are fake, but he posted these all over my husbands business page and since given out my husbands number for his friends to call us at all hours telling me and my husband "I'll slit your necks" "you're going to die" "burn bitches"

I went to the police yet again, the last few times they haven't been at all helpful, and even blamed me, after someone saw a post of him getting increasingly wound up about me and started saying some worrying things, they text me and said they think he's coming to my house (old house) but I was told by the police not to let people wind me up and stop reading these text messages. Of course I going to read texts coming to my phone. I reported the transphobic abuse (he said some vile things) he posted about my step dad, but they said as my step dad hasn't seen it (thankfully) it's not a crime. Again this was sent to me by someone else.

But now he's made direct contact and we've got the death threats I thought now they'll do something, but if they just did something 2 months ago we wouldn't be here.

But I'm still waiting for them to come and see me it's been 32 hours since I originally went to the station, I've waited in all afternoon today like I was asked but got a call to ask when I'm available, I told them I had an appointment but that's was "miscommunicated" I was told they come out in order of risk and vulnerability so I'll just have to wait, they might be available tomorrow morning .. 🙄

I'm now thinking this isn't going to get dealt with, they don't seem interested in the fact I'm worried sick an absolute mess and really think we're going to die soon, my husbands phone is going mad, and it's his business phone, we've turned it off now. I'm numb and don't see a way out, with no actual help from people I thought would protect us. I'm scared my children are in the house and I just don't know how to make the police do something?

What do I do?

What do you want police to do?
As they said it s a text so not an active happening now incident.

Close and lock doors and windows.
Call 999 if he is outside.

I want them to take the non molestation order seriously, the death threats seriously and protect us.

You need to be very specific about how your ex has breached the order (check the exact wording of the order), and state clearly that you expect the police to arrest him and take him to court for the breach/es. If they do and he pleads not guilty you will probably need to be a witness, if found guilty (or if he pleads guilty) he could get a prison sentence.

Thank you. The woman at the station took a copy of the order and took notes on the messages and calls we received after looking through my phone. I just thought they'd be here after she made me an appointment with them, I am just really worried as the police officer on the phone really down played it and didn't seem interested that it's continued all day today.

So my worry is what if they say they're not going to do anything, what do I do then?

But is,he contacting you directly or thru other people?
It isnt clear.
It sounds like other people are texting you about his rants?
If police are dealing with live active Friday night incidents they wont be coming to guard you.
NOr arrest him tonight.

What you do us lock all doors and windows and call 999 if he is outside your house there and threatening you .

Is it his friends that are calling and making threats?

Yes they are, as he's asked them to. But he has also sent threats in posts on my husbands business page, he's not called.

I understand that they are busy with Friday night madness, but I have waited in for appointments they made for no one come since Thursday. I don't want them to guard me I want them to enforce an order by going and arresting him.
I wanted advice on what to say to the police if they down play this yet again and tell me he's not breaking any law yet again, I'm since of crying at work, in front of my kids and being scared.

The wording on orders usually refers to contact directly or indirectly and it certainly sounds as though he may be guilty of using indirect contact, eg asking people to pass messages to DC at school. I would suggest you get copies of everything you can eg screenshots etc, records of calls and dates and what was said (or recordings if you have them) so that the evidence of breaches is clear.
I wonder if (from police point of view) the difficulty is proving that ex is the source of the various messages via friends etc, if he denies it. They should still be following it up though. I would persist with stating clearly what the breaches are that you want him arrested and charged. You could make a formal complaint about the police if they continue not to act, it might make them take you more seriously.

If definitely needs following up but from police point if view it may not seem like an active incident to come out to you on s friday night.
See your solicitor and get advice.
If he turns up call 999

Agree with @seltaeb that you need to check the wording; my ex husband was convicted of multiple breaches of a non-mol, he too was using social media, enticing other people to contact me and my daughter as well as sending text threats from various numbers.

He was able to be convicted because the non-mol specifically mentioned both direct and indirect contact as well as enticing others to make contact.
I had taken screen shots and also two of my friends were witnesses for the trial as he had contacted them asking them to contact me and pass on specific messages.
He received a hefty fine and community service, he was also told that a further breach would mean a custodial sentance. ( He had an additional past conviction for assaulting me and my daughter).

I did have trouble getting the police to take the first breaches seriously, in the end I spoke to someone from the D.V unit who took it far more seriously and that is how we got the conviction. I haven't heard from him for a number of years now.
So my advice would be to call 101 and ask specifically to speak with someone from the D.V unit as they are far more tuned in to this type of issue.

Thanks everyone. They still haven't been, I had a call this morning with another appointment of 10-12 but no ones turned up. I used the police chat service to ask if there's another time they're coming at around 1pm, they said they'll call me soon but haven't hear anything yet.

I've been on the phone most of the day to family who have had a few messages from him to now.

We've had 4 calls today with more threats, sounds like the same person but not my ex. I've checked wording. Not to contact me or other family in the house hold to threaten, harass or cause alarm, by text call or writing.

I've done myself a statement in preparation for going back to court. The order runs out in two months and this makes me think by the time it does hell have my new address and be ready to come around personally.

I've asked for it to be exstended another 12 months and varied to include encouraging 3rd party harassment towards me family and family businesses, as this is what they've been targeting since Thursday.

My statement that just contains all the evidence I have is 27 pages long each has a short discription and 4 photos on each page... 😒

So the police have not been to see us, and closed case as theirs no evidence, apparently texts and messages containing death threats doesn't amount to an actual crime

1.Complain to someone more high ranking in the police: ask for the officer in charge of that station.

1. Ask to speak to a specific DV officer.
2. Ask Women's Aid for advice.
3. Send a copy of the statement you've written to your MP, and ask if they think it's ok that the case has been closed.
4. If threats have been made to other family members, get them to complain as well, and attend the police complaints meeting with you.

I'm so sorry you've been treated like this by your ex, and that the police have failed to respond.

Thank you.

I've already done most of this in the past hour. I put in a complaint via 101, emailed the station with all my evidence attached and my statement, quoted the complaint reference and crime reference, asked for an officer that deals with dv and or stalking.
I emailed our mayor and my local mp with a time line of events, and my evidence.

I will call womens aid when they open and I'll let my family know to report any threats they're getting.

This isn't the first time they didn't do anything when he's breached the order, but as his behaviour is escalated I thought finally now they'll help us. I knew I should never have got my hopes up

It's just awful, why do they not take these things seriously

We're now thinking of moving again... We've just settled in after moving 2 days before Christmas. It got that bad at the old address. But we're thinking New Zealand now, have a friend there who could get me a job straight away, other half is a joiner so hell get work straight away. The only thing stopping me in my mind is our eldest who needs a special school.
My dad is terrified as my ex really is a true physco and he's in tears thinking we'll all get hurt

Go back to your solicitor for advice
But if texts coming from someone else then you cannot prove it is your ex?
However whoever's has that number can be done for harassment?

You need to speak to the DV team, I would be putting in writing that you really think your ex is the kind to kill, that these threats aren't empty. Insist they tell you what court orders you need for them to act on these threats?

Since when is threatening to kill someone not a threat that should be followed up?? Numbers traced etc?

If you can relocate abroad I would do it in a heartbeat!

Officers in DV teams are just as capable of being shit.

Obviously don't tell us but I can't help wondering which police force this is because some of it is certainly not unusual for certain forces.

This is awful, I am really surprised, I can't believe it's not been put into your order that he isn't allowed to harass you using a third party. You definitely should complain and talk to your solicitor.

I spoke to the mayor's team today... They're not happy, I'm wondering if they have anything to do with the police reopening this... Not the breaches but definitely harassment, and threats to life plus two hate crimes as he posted alot of things about my family member who is a minority. So at least it's something.

I've also spoken to a solicitor, I didn't have one last time re the non molestation order, she's going put my legal aid through as an emergency, get it extended (she said we can aim for more than 12 months, anyone got a life time one?) varied (to more than I've asked for, no following or having me followed, no contacting the businesses of my family, and I can have friends and family included to on top of his associates doing the same) and said depending on what evidence we have attempt to have it enforced through family court, I didn't even know you could do that!

I'm having the fire brigade round tomorrow fitting a anti fire letter box to (down to my exs past with arson) thanks to my landlord.

Im feeling alot better today, apart from the call from socail services, because of a report made 😒. Don't know what but had my kids so said ill have to call her tomorrow, she did say not to worry but I can see what's coming.

SS will know it's malicious and hopefully a report from them will help support the extension of the non-mol and include 3rd parties?

Oh I'm not worried about ss, could just do with out it tbh. I'll be telling them both my kids are at school go speak to them, ask them anything we've nothing to hide.

Im glad I've got the day off work to sort a lot of stuff out, my boss is amazing. We are ment to be having a group shot soon for the site but I've asked not to be in as I can't have him know where I work, they were fine with it, but everyone is going to want to know why and I'm not ready to be having the conversation with people.

My husband is having to change his business name, number and take down his website, page and everything. He's turned down 3 jobs as he just can't be sure if it's him and his goony friends or not. 🙁 I'm just tired now, we both are.

Hi, me, again.

Update. Everything is still going on, they reopened the case, then gave him a warning. All was quiet but we shut down husbands business, he had a mini break down. I'm back in court on Friday, alone because we don't get legal aid and no money for a solicitor. Ex knows where we live, don't know how as we've been so careful, we got letter addressed to him, he's changed his address to here like it's his house. I've been having panic attacks about once or twice a week. Exs mum has been sending messages to my dad telling him I'll be a widow soon.
Police opened a stalking case, that was 2 weeks ago, I'm yet to actually meet anyone or give a statement or have anything collected again. So no change there then. I have no idea what to actually say to them anymore, but my guess is I'll hear the same "we'll go and warn him"
I want to make demands, I want a stalking protection order and I want one now, I want to go to court and give evidence, I want him to be monitored or hospitalised or in prison, but honestly don't have the energy to do anything anymore.