I have recently written a book (my first one, YA), and now have the opportunity to write a TV script proposal with a friend who is a real script writer (which means real producers - who know him - will read it, something that would never happen if I've written something by myself). The script is not for the UK.
However, this whole collaborative creative work is bringing up my worst side. I feel insecure, I don't want to go on, I think it's not working out.
I'm a horrible team worker. I never managed to keep an office job for too long because of that. My best work has been done by myself or - as a journalist - working with an editor and nothing more.
I know I can (could) write a script. But I feel intimidated, I have never done anything like that for "real" TV. My way of working is not what "real" professionals do. I just feel like a toddler, angry at everything and wanting to curl up in a ball - or throw a tantrum at my limitations. I feel I'll never break into the market, and the whole proposal thing won't work out anyway. We don't have a deadline, so I said I'd think about the whole thing for a few days before I go on.
OF COURSE I know I'm pathetic.
But I don't know what to do. I'm trying to act like a professional. Heck, I can't even act like and adult, let alone a professional!
Any comments will be very welcome. I don't have anyone to talk about that IRL because... well... because it's too embarrassing to even tell it to anyone. I should be a capable professional, FFS.