Hi @hedgehoggle , I can really identify with your dilemma! My husband and I moved from England to NI about 10 years ago with our (then very English-accented) nursery-aged child. I grew up in England (with Irish grandparents on one side). He grew up in a Catholic family in NI during the Troubles and got out of dodge as soon as he could, vowing never to return! Our career paths collided in London. When we had our son, we looked to relocate for quality of life, housing, work-life balance and education. Thankfully, by then, NI had changed beyond all recognition.
No one can deny NI’s past casts a long shadow but I can hand-on-heart say that moving here was a great decision; I only wish we’d done it earlier. In my experience, you don’t need to have family or friends here to thrive (we had only my husband’s mum and a few childhood friends). As the blow-in spouse, I’ve been very fortunate with the friends I’ve made, a clutch of whom have become like sisters.
My husband and I focused on moving to a mixed area of Belfast, well-served by schools and amenities. Many of our (lovely, friendly) neighbours have either moved here to work at nearby Queens Uni or generally have an open outlook. Being honest, before our move, I was worried about being “that English woman” and all the history it entails. I quickly found that English accents here are commonplace and the only time I get (gently and humorously) ribbed is when the rugby is on.
My now-teenage son has the old-fashioned freedom to play with his friends in the street and the local Ormeau Park. He’s enjoying an excellent (free) education within 10 minutes’ walk of our house. He plays in the local GAA, rugby and soccer teams. Quite honestly, he’d have no more idea about his friend’s religion than he would their pet’s middle name!
This is obviously just my personal experience; others – some on this thread - have a different perspective. Just in case I come across as a bit Pollyanna-ish, there are downsides. I’m a (cheap, frequent) flight away from family and friends. I must sometimes consciously remind myself of my belief in respect for all cultural heritage and religions when the fleggs go up and the marching bands play in July. And, much as I love Dunnes, I miss Waitrose and Cos!
Whatever you decide, you really don’t need to worry about your English or Welsh accent or heritage; if people even notice, it won’t make a blind but of difference.
Your plan to visit in half-term is very sensible. In terms of scoping out areas to live, I think the most important thing is to decide what’s important to YOU personally. Do you want a quieter life in a nice town by the sea? Are you a city-dweller or prefer the suburbs? Do you enjoy boutiques on your doorstep or do you favour deli’s and “useful” local shops? Do you like to cycle or drive? DO you prefer Victorian houses or new build? Etc etc
Enjoy your visit and good luck with your decision x
I don't want to be too outing here but feel free to PM me with questions.