The Americans are coming

[EllaMenopee]

And my mother has reverted to a 1950s stereotype. Six second- and third-generation cousins of confusing removal are on the home sod and will be coming for dinner tomorrow evening. I've just taken the brown bread out of the oven and the ham is simmering. Baking operations will resume at first light.

Has she painted the house and got her hair done? Are you expecting to get any nice hand me down clothes from those rich Americans?
Have fun!!

Do they know they’re coming for dinner, though?

Because last time the Pennsylvania branch visited us, they said they’d drop by to say goodbye on the way to the airport on their way from having lunch at some other cousins, but my mother interpreted this as ‘just being polite’, and confronted people who’d just come from eating a three-course meal with another one.😀

Oh god love them, yes they know they are coming for dinner! She's panicking because they are getting a taxi from the city centre out to her in the burbs though. Not enough notice to get the house painted but the front door was washed earlier and she was lamenting the "state of the garden" this morning. I'm pretty sure the man who tidies the garden for her was in last week, so it has definitely become a wasteland since then.

Has she got the sacred heart and JFK pictures on the wall?

😂😂😂

When my American cousin came over in the 90s, my dad actually hired a limo to take us from Galway to Bunratty castle. A limo like. Cringe.

And we did have a JFK pic on the wall, one of said cousin shaking his hand (which was kinda cool, but framed in the sitting room, really?)

I did the reverse - landed on the Americans. They were very sweet and welcoming, one cousin and her family I visited postponed their child's birthday party until I was there! I did not think the 5 yr old child had any interest in their nearly 40 yr old 2nd cousin coming to their party but my cousin wanted an opportunity to show me off to all their friends! I was exotic - the Irish cousin who now lives in Australia with radical left leaning views about free healthcare!

That's gas! Very sweet about the party. They really do go all out for the Irish relations don't they.

we would call them the Yanks
theres also specially the Californyies tribe
Packy and Bridie Californyie and the like

😆😆😆

😂 I'm so glad I read this - it takes me right back. Are there multiple dessert courses? I was always given the mad cleaning jobs like hoovering the top of the curtains!

Ah, that sounds like fun. My family's days a the big exciting meet ups is long over. Have fun!

God, yes, I used to think my mother confused ‘visiting American cousins’ with the CIA looking for Reds under the beds. She appeared to actually think they’d be checking inside the hot press and looking for dust on top of doors.

Pissing myself reading this 😁

I've Americans visiting and went out of my way to get the Sean's Brown Bread from Super Valu - DH thinks it's the bees knees.
With lovely creamy Irish butter.
What does one of my Americans do - only toast it 🙄
FFS he could have used sliced pan.

In fairness I have always enjoyed a slice of brown bread toasted as it gives it a great nutty flavour, especially if it is a day old.

About 5 years ago the Yanks - my second cousin and his wife came to Ireland and stayed with one of my sisters and all the relations looked after them, brought them places and out at night for Trad nights etc. I was away so I was the only one in my family not to meet them.

I spent 3 nights with them in California earlier this year and they were very hospitable and showed us the sights. My second cousin looks more like my Dad than my uncle does, it's uncanny to see the resemblance. My second cousin's grandad and my grandad were brothers and went to the US with another brother back in the 1920s.

That. Is. Amazing. He wins. 🏆

And I have to say, I agree with @Missingthegore , I do enjoy a slightly stale slice of brown soda bread livened up in the toaster but my bread is much nicer than Sean's.

Meanwhile, the mother has denuded the local woodies because "the front looked a bit bare". We are doing a buffet so three mains, three salads, brown bread and spuds. Because there are always spuds. Then three desserts in case anyone is in any doubt about her hospitality. And a fruit salad. Because that's its own category.

For the sake of completeness I should probably mention that these aren't even her side of the family. The are my dad's mother's family, but somehow my mum got them in the divorce.

That gave me a proper belly laugh altogether, bravo! I do have to question the salads tho, that's a bit european? If we went fancy back in the day, we did paté. It was mank, but it was fancy so we were going to eat it come hell or high water 🤣

It was the use of the word 'denuded' on reflection. You should be a writer OP!

My H says to give them sone batch bread. Apparently it's not all that widely available outside Ireland.

I expect and hope there's at least one apple tart available.

No, IRISH salads, of the type familiar in the 70s.

Russian salad out of a tin, sliced hard-boiled egg, halved rock-hard tomatoes that looked reproachful, a few damp leaves of lettuce ‘as a garnish’ that no one ever ate, and corned beef and/or luncheon meat rolled up like a Swiss roll to give it an air.

And then the apple tart.

Oh no tomatoes in the 70's were proper tomatoes with an actual flavour. Nothing like the yokes these days that have been refrigerated to death.