Very Irish Things

[RocketPanda]

A thread of appreciation of things that only seem to happen in Ireland.

I was away for two weeks and a couple of days after I returned the postman knocked on my door with a big bag of packages ( they were sent from work, only two were very delayed orders). He realised I was away so instead of leaving them and risking theft or damage he stored them for me.

Anyone else any good stories?

And now deaths.

I could nearly write it word for word as I've heard it so much!it's always the same style

John Boyle of Ballymahon Longford, formerly of Roscommon town has passed away on 8/8/23. His removal will be on 10th, his funeral will be on Friday 12th, remains are now reposing in mahon funeral home. He leaves behind his wife Deirdre, brother Billy and son tom. May his soul rest in peace.

Mary Gahan of Tullamore, co Offaly, formerly of ....

Repeat by 20 people

I get a bit confused when they used the word predeceased. I have to walk my mind through that slowly.

I went to Dublin for 4 days last week. There’s a new one since I left in 1990.
Spice Bags from the Chipper.

NOw they are everywhere. A local thai place does their version - cant imagine going to thailand and asking for a spice bag but then I would be fairly dubious ordering chicken balls in China too...

And they have to insert the nicknames down here - otherwise nobody has a clue who they're talking about.

Eg : The death has been announced of Dan O'Sullivan - 'Danny Con Breda' - of Ballybonkers etc etc

There are a few books about the Irish attitude towards death, this one is well reviewed but I’ve not read it myself https://www.amazon.co.uk/My-Fathers-Wake-Irish-Teach/dp/1474605222

It's FOMO.
People wouldn't want to miss the wake and or the removal / funeral.

They most of them anyway can't really be at the birth.
😂

Why would the funeral be on the 12th if the removal is on the 10th? It's always the next day 🤔

I might be taking this a bit too seriously😀

@Kettering usually if there's that much of a gap, there's a son or daughter who has to get home from Australia!

Or a Sunday - we've had removal on Saturday, funeral on Monday a good few times in our family.

Four days between John's death and the funeral might mean someone's flying back from Oz, but maybe there had to be a post mortem and that's causing a delay . . . Four days though . . .

Years ago on a bus journey across the country I discovered that the midland radio stations had thoughtfully staggered the times they announced the deaths so that people living on the edges could hear both. Rattling along the old N7 we seemed to go through at least three radio areas, each with a list of deaths - it did sound as though the country had been struck by plague.

Must admit I check my county on RIP.ie at least once a week.

I actually did think of that even though we do have Sunday funerals where I am, but the funeral is on a Friday in the example given.

Usually if someone's coming from Australia both removal and funeral are delayed in my experience. Because the removal is just the evening before and funeral the following morning up to about lunchtime.

I'm really overthinking this😁

4 days is not a long time to bury someone.

When my dad died in England, they buried him two months after he died. They had to do a postmorten and wait for toxicology reports.

Im not sure how it can possibly always be so quick in Ireland. I know the normal socially acceptable time in Ireland to bury someone is three days.

But what about toxicology reports and post morterms and things that you need to have done in many deaths. They can take weeks to do.

They don't in Ireland. I suspect they don't in the UK when people need a Jewish or a Muslim burial.

I hate talking about this as it's grim.

But things like suicides. A suicide definitely needs a post mortem to establish a cause of death, in Ireland too.

It's unrealistic to expect everyone to be buried within 3 days

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/death/sudden-or-unexplained-death/postmortems/
A post mortem of any kind does not necessarily take weeks.

In Ireland the vast majority of people are buried within 3 or 4 days. Post mortems are usually carried out within 24 hours of dying or being found.

If someone has been dead for a while the remains will not be released until the results of a dna test come back and can take up to 6 weeks though often 2-3 weeks.

We had a very sudden and tragic death in the family recently, which required a postmortem. Relative died at 4pm, we identified the body at 7pm, postmortem was 9am the following day, body was released at 5pm.

Given the circumstances, we had five days between the death and the funeral, but could have done it in three.

I have to say, I’m not religious at all, proper atheist, but the Catholic Church were amazing to us when my relative died. They were an active member of the church and we had so much support from the priests and the parish.

I’ve always been quite dismissive of the church (and religion in general) but they do death and grief exceptionally well.

It used to be the case where I live in England that a shortage of staff to carry out post-mortems was a major issue. Hospital staff did it in addition to their day job and it was hardly worth their while financially to do the PMs. I don’t know if that is still happening.

I think the Irish way is very quick, I think some of the UK way maybe going to 2 weeks or so might be good for grief management.
In Ireland everything is done and dusted in a week and you're by yourself with your grief quite quickly, I think the UK system allows some space.

i think most Irish people would find the limbo of weeks between death and funeral very difficult — when I’ve lost someone close, I’ve found the mad surge of organisation, catering and socialising helpful in exhausting me, and taking the first edge off my grief. Later I think and process. But the cultural attitudes towards death couldn’t be more different, and English friends have said they would find it far too rushed. And I’m always touched by people travelling long distances to the funeral of someone they barely knew just to support the bereaved — when my grandad died, all my mother’s childhood neighbours drove 40 miles to the removal of a man they’d met once, at my parents’ wedding.

I would hate to be waiting a couple of weeks for a funeral, I prefer the quicker Irish way but that's what I'm used to in the same way those in the UK are used to the waiting.

I think we should at least have the option of if we want a short waiting time or long waiting time in Ireland.

It is very much societal pressure in Ireland to have a funeral as quick as possible .

No one asks what the family wants, with time to grieve.

Funerals are seen as social outings in Ireland , no consideration is given to family needs and wants.

I think the Irish way is not only way too rushed, it is forced to be the same way as everyone else.

Everyone has to do funerals the EXACT same way.

Individual wishes are not taken into account.

My mother is elderly. I'm her only daughter. She is already foreseeing the problems when she dies.

Her personal wish is that she doesn't want a big funeral . She wants a small ceremony at the crematorium. She also is thinking of me after she dies, she knows that I will want time to grieve and I will need time to heal.

She has eight brothers and sisters. And she foresees the problem that they will tell me what to do after she dies. They know they will insist that she has the societal norm of a big funeral with all the village there.

That is not what my mother wants. She has written down her wishes.

I know I'll still have to argue with my mother's brothers and sisters after my mother's dies. They will argue for a big funeral. I'm already feeling stressed about a time when I should be able to grieve and be in peace. I know there will be arguments.

It will surely help that she's written down her wishes @Mooshamoo. That was a good idea.